Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names]

OiOshawott · 12-10-2013 11:28am

Back when I had loads of annoying crap on my news feed last November
"lms if your goin intensity" was a status I saw and I replied with "Nobody wants to lick your sack"

12-10-2013 11:49am

A lady (parent of a friend when I was a young wan) was back from her honeymoon last night.
She checked in leaving hotel and "hot temps"
She checked in checking in,
She checked in at her terminal.
She checked in on the runway and put up a status apologising that she had to turn her phone off as the plane was reversing down the runway.

Then she checked in at "on the runway" at Dublin airport.
A few mins later she checked in "at terminal 2" then about 5 mins later she checked in at "Ireland".

This one is in her 40s

wnolan1992 · 12-10-2013 11:53am

LexieOnRale wrote: »

A lady (parent of a friend when I was a young wan) was back from her honeymoon last night.
She checked in leaving hotel and "hot temps"
She checked in checking in,
She checked in at her terminal.
She checked in on the runway and put up a status apologising that she had to turn her phone off as the plane was reversing down the runway.

Then she checked in at "on the runway" at Dublin airport.
A few mins later she checked in "at terminal 2" then about 5 mins later she checked in at "Ireland".

This one is in her 40s

Nice that they're still enjoying each other's company so much...

kunst nugget · 12-10-2013 1:51pm

Sinfonia wrote: »

I'm pretty sure the country and number of months are some cloaked references to one of these 'secretive awareness' thingies.
Hard to explain.
Like that breast cancer thing, I guess.

Breast cancer is easy to explain. You get cancer on your breast.

yerwanthere123 · 12-10-2013 2:57pm

"Have to get around to deleting at least 600 people off this. Cannot be dealing with moaning all over the newsfeed about bollox that I couldn't give a toss about.."

This coming from someone who updates their status on an almost hourly basis. And what pearls of wisdom does she update her status with, you might wonder?

Tea and a smoke. Good morning ;D

Anyone else ever notice that Alice in Wonderland is one of the only disney movies that isn't about princess romance or that the main character doesn't fall in love?

And, my personal favourite:

yops

What a moron.

NoClues · 12-10-2013 4:04pm

LexieOnRale wrote: »

A lady (parent of a friend when I was a young wan) was back from her honeymoon last night.
She checked in leaving hotel and "hot temps"
She checked in checking in,
She checked in at her terminal.
She checked in on the runway and put up a status apologising that she had to turn her phone off as the plane was reversing down the runway.

Then she checked in at "on the runway" at Dublin airport.
A few mins later she checked in "at terminal 2" then about 5 mins later she checked in at "Ireland".

This one is in her 40s

George Orwell would be turning in his grave.

coolhull · 12-10-2013 9:20pm

LexieOnRale wrote: »

A lady (parent of a friend when I was a young wan) was back from her honeymoon last night.
She checked in leaving hotel and "hot temps"
She checked in checking in,
She checked in at her terminal.
She checked in on the runway and put up a status apologising that she had to turn her phone off as the plane was reversing down the runway.

Then she checked in at "on the runway" at Dublin airport.
A few mins later she checked in "at terminal 2" then about 5 mins later she checked in at "Ireland".

This one is in her 40s

Shakespeare, during his early years, would love to have had that kind of inspiration for his work.

ivytwine · 12-10-2013 11:09pm

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

Alice isn't a flipping fairytale that's why! Grr!

danslevent · 12-10-2013 11:35pm

A guy I know put up a new cover picture of him and his 11 month old daughter.

About ten minutes later he shared a picture of a smiley face giving the ole V symbol with the phrase written "If she ain't twitching, You're not eating it right".

coolhull · 13-10-2013 12:38am

danslevent wrote: »

A guy I know put up a new cover picture of him and his 11 month old daughter.

About ten minutes later he shared a picture of a smiley face giving the ole V symbol with the phrase written "If she ain't twitching, You're not eating it right".

If I'm reading this right, it's a matter for Social Services :eek:

saltyjack silverblade · 14-10-2013 9:07am

Sometimes we must slow down to feel the speed of infinite light from within~•

Comments include:
I swear I was just talking about this a minute ago. but more so, we're advancing at a rate in which its hard to physically, and hardwired speaking, keep up to this exponentially expanding universe.

Replied with:
Hyperdimensionally melding the psychic veils ~ yEs we're all in this process together

saltyjack silverblade · 14-10-2013 9:07am

Sometimes we must slow down to feel the speed of infinite light from within~•

Comments include:
I swear I was just talking about this a minute ago. but more so, we're advancing at a rate in which its hard to physically, and hardwired speaking, keep up to this exponentially expanding universe.

Replied with:
Hyperdimensionally melding the psychic veils ~ yEs we're all in this process together

homemadecider · 14-10-2013 9:33am

saltyjack silverblade wrote: »

Sometimes we must slow down to feel the speed of infinite light from within~•

Comments include:
I swear I was just talking about this a minute ago. but more so, we're advancing at a rate in which its hard to physically, and hardwired speaking, keep up to this exponentially expanding universe.

Replied with:
Hyperdimensionally melding the psychic veils ~ yEs we're all in this process together

STAB STAB STAB!

SV · 14-10-2013 9:36am

saltyjack silverblade wrote: »

Sometimes we must slow down to feel the speed of infinite light from within~â€¢

Comments include:
I swear I was just talking about this a minute ago. but more so, we're advancing at a rate in which its hard to physically, and hardwired speaking, keep up to this exponentially expanding universe.

Replied with:
Hyperdimensionally melding the psychic veils ~ yEs we're all in this process together

I would honestly prefer to see a bunch of skangers that use txtspk on their status updates on the news feed over these kind of gob****es who actually believe they're saying something profound and being smart.

IvyTheTerrible · 14-10-2013 9:37am

saltyjack silverblade wrote: »

Sometimes we must slow down to feel the speed of infinite light from within~•

Comments include:
I swear I was just talking about this a minute ago. but more so, we're advancing at a rate in which its hard to physically, and hardwired speaking, keep up to this exponentially expanding universe.

Replied with:
Hyperdimensionally melding the psychic veils ~ yEs we're all in this process together

Just say no, kids.

RJunior · 14-10-2013 3:35pm

RJunior wrote: »

New profile pic, one hand holding a pint, the other balled into a fist, big sovereign ring, demented facial expression. His last post was directed at all "Braking bad" fans and proceeded to give away in detail the entire ending to the series. Some other recent ones:

I dont think ive ever seen a full gang of girls that are all sexy theres always that one or 2 ugly ones that sre filthy things that gets used as back up the sluts - Drinking cider

Im might not be the best speller and **** but there is some slow c*nt on facebook -who you love ment to be how you love sick world hahaha

No work tonight If u see me 2 night il spit in ur face ya fatcow

Holly from geordie shore reminds me of so many people from round north side falla in love after a bit of dick and is proud ur a slut 10/10 ya fat bitch

Think its time to stay away from town do the same **** everyweek go ****y catwalk and stand by abra like a mouldy bum eatin taco fries ahha. - Playing with muself

Imagine been amish hah id die after a week no ps3 or facebook hahah

To all u mother****aaassss drink and enjoying yer cans or pints I hope ye get the first of the keg so ye can **** all over yer gafs rats haha

im praying to god im not workin friday night I need a nice pint or 10

Come on united batter um this time

Who wants to go bushin did go gatin round the gaf in ages

He's outdone himself today:

john gilligan is out tonight about time hes getin out helpin the poor delighted that other whore got wacked ..

veronica guerin is the reason this county is **** the nosey tramp

coolhull · 14-10-2013 4:16pm

For his own sake, I hope he's trolling. I would hate to think people who believe this sort of sh*te still walk the earth.

princess-lala · 14-10-2013 4:18pm

RJunior wrote: »

He's outdone himself today:

john gilligan is out tonight about time hes getin out helpin the poor delighted that other whore got wacked ..

veronica guerin is the reason this county is **** the nosey tramp

You should tell him its actually tomorrow he's being released!

El Guapo! · 15-10-2013 11:11pm

Are people getting more and more stupid or is it just the fact that Facebook etc. gives these planks a platform to display their mind bending stupidity?

I was browsing through Facebook a minute ago and noticed an old friend of mine shared a post from another page. It was a post warning people not to flash their headlights at another driver whose lights are off. The reason given was that these people were new members of the "Bloods" gang who will then chase them down and kill everyone in their car.
WTF??

And what's more surprising is the guy who shared this is a highly intelligent accountant that I thought would have more sense.
It's totally baffling.

And then to top it off, I read through the comments and saw that some future Nobel prize winner left this little gem.....

u wanna bet i was dring up da north circular rod one nite da car behind me had no head lights on & der was at least 3 black fellas in da car i stopped at5 da lights at da big tree i asked a man crossing da road 2 tell dem dey had no lights ondey put dem but wen we got threw da lights dey turned dem off again a taxi man seen dis bcoz i pulled in 2 let dem pass me da taxi man gave me a wave wit his radio on my way back den da garda had dem stopped & der was 4 of dem in da car dis is not safe little Ireland any more

When I read that, what immediately sprung to mind was this:

Were people always so thick or is it a new thing?

dodderangler · 15-10-2013 11:12pm

Moral of the story = Facebook sucks.

Gerry91 · 15-10-2013 11:13pm

Oh my word, Op you have me in stitches!!

Whenever I think of stupidity on Facebook I'm always drawn to that "stag party" incident in Waterford and the wife to be's complaint to the hotel's page

Quazzie · 15-10-2013 11:13pm

I'm still waiting to find out when Facebook to start charging me.

PizzamanIRL · 15-10-2013 11:13pm

They were always thick but we're only realising now because of so much social media.

Eejits.

StinkyMunkey · 15-10-2013 11:13pm

My head hurts after trying to read that quote.

Insect Overlord · 15-10-2013 11:14pm

Maybe the guy who shared the story did it ironically.

Kettleson · 15-10-2013 11:14pm

People do seem to talk a load of sh1te on Facebook, a horrible place to be.

urabell · 15-10-2013 11:14pm

Get in here mods before the bloods gang see we know their secrets

BillyMitchel · 15-10-2013 11:15pm

Id be more worried about the eejits writing this crap than I would about my gang banging homies in their mothers micra.

and im a Crip! And no not the tayto kind.

shruikan2553 · 15-10-2013 11:15pm

Isnt that the plot of a film?

Femme_Fatale · 15-10-2013 11:16pm

"I'm not hot or gorgeous. I don't have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I'm far from being considered a model but, I'm me. I eat food, I have curves, I have more fat than I should, I have scars, inside and out, I have a history. Some people love me, some like me, some hate me. I have done good, I have done bad. I love my Pjs and I go without makeup and don't get my hair or nails done when I should. I'm random and crazy, I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I am who I am, you can love me or not. I won't change!! And if I love you, I do it with ALL my Heart!! I make no apologies for the way I am. Ladies put this on your status if you're proud of who you are!"

Share dis if ur a reel wmn! xxxxxxxxxxx