Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

43, infertility, IVFs and abortion, feeling low...

  • 06-05-2020 4:33am
    #1
    Nicky_77
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭


    I can't sleep today....
    I TTC for 2years, I had 4 IVF with only one unsuccessful transfer. Then got pregnant this Jan naturally at 42.5. Last week I had pregnancy termination due to diagnosis of Trisomy 21 (DS). I am struggling to cope...


Comments

  • #2
    Cash_Q
    Registered Users Posts: 1,920 ✭✭✭Cash_Q


    God you poor thing, I think there is free counselling available after a termination, look up My Options. Hope you will get the help you need, sounds like you have been to hell and back.


  • #3
    99nsr125
    Registered Users Posts: 1,183 ✭✭✭99nsr125


    Nicky_77 wrote: »
    I can't sleep today....
    I TTC for 2years, I had 4 IVF with only one unsuccessful transfer. Then got pregnant this Jan naturally at 42.5. Last week I had pregnancy termination due to diagnosis of Trisomy 21 (DS). I am struggling to cope...

    Don't struggle on your own because you're not, talk to your loved ones.


  • #4
    bilbot79
    Registered Users Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭bilbot79


    Have you considered egg donation? At 43 the odds of success are low.


  • #5
    Nicky_77
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭Nicky_77


    Cash_Q wrote: »
    God you poor thing, I think there is free counselling available after a termination, look up My Options. Hope you will get the help you need, sounds like you have been to hell and back.

    Thank you for a message, I am trying to find some counselling for myself and my partner..


  • #6
    Nicky_77
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭Nicky_77


    bilbot79 wrote: »
    Have you considered egg donation? At 43 the odds of success are low.

    I was told the same one year ago and I got pregnant naturally so it's possible... Egg donation is not considered at this stage


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    CCCHIA
    Registered Users Posts: 35 ✭CCCHIA


    Nicky_77 wrote: »
    I can't sleep today....
    I TTC for 2years, I had 4 IVF with only one unsuccessful transfer. Then got pregnant this Jan naturally at 42.5. Last week I had pregnancy termination due to diagnosis of Trisomy 21 (DS). I am struggling to cope...

    I’m so sorry for your loss Nicky, there are no words that I can provide to comfort you at this time but you are in my thoughts. It’s not what you want to hear but you can get pregnant, don’t loose sight of that, it’s what people used to say to me after fails and miscarriages. I never had to experience what you are going through so don’t underestimate the pain and heartache, please seek professional help - contact your fertility clinic even though you got pregnant naturally you are still a patient/client and they might point you in the right direction for a counsellor who specialises in these losses xxxxxxxxxxx


  • #8
    Nicky_77
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭Nicky_77


    CCCHIA wrote: »
    I’m so sorry for your loss Nicky, there are no words that I can provide to comfort you at this time but you are in my thoughts. It’s not what you want to hear but you can get pregnant, don’t loose sight of that, it’s what people used to say to me after fails and miscarriages. I never had to experience what you are going through so don’t underestimate the pain and heartache, please seek professional help - contact your fertility clinic even though you got pregnant naturally you are still a patient/client and they might point you in the right direction for a counsellor who specialises in these losses xxxxxxxxxxx

    Thank you for your message, this is so nice of you. They told me in all places I will never get pregnant naturally and they were wrong so I have a little hope it might happen again although living with this ticking clock is terrible feeling... My fertility clinic is abroad so they would not be suitable for advising counselling. I am reaching out to Irish organisations for help, maybe I find someone...

    Thank you once again for writing, this is so kind of you...


  • #9
    brokensoul
    Registered Users Posts: 932 ✭✭✭brokensoul


    Nicky_77 wrote: »
    Thank you for your message, this is so nice of you. They told me in all places I will never get pregnant naturally and they were wrong so I have a little hope it might happen again although living with this ticking clock is terrible feeling... My fertility clinic is abroad so they would not be suitable for advising counselling. I am reaching out to Irish organisations for help, maybe I find someone...

    Thank you once again for writing, this is so kind of you...

    Firstly, I am so sorry for all you have been through. My heart goes out to you.

    Here is a list of specialist fertility counselors, hopefully there will be one based near enough to you.

    http://www.fertilitycounsellors.ie/contact-us/


  • #10
    omegaodie
    Registered Users Posts: 27 ✭omegaodie


    I would recommend taking everything slow right now. You're struggling to cope, don't go hunting fertility clinics, hanging on to your sanity is more important for the time being. I don't believe you will be able to ever entirely put this behind you, I do believe you can live and feel joy beside it. There are more ways than giving birth to be a parent, and a huge part of being a parent is understanding nothing goes the way you planned.
    Find something solid to hang on to, this storm will pass.


  • #11
    bilbot79
    Registered Users Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭bilbot79


    Nicky_77 wrote: »
    I was told the same one year ago and I got pregnant naturally so it's possible... Egg donation is not considered at this stage

    Fair enough. The diagnosis of trisomy etc es part and parcel of producing high levels of aneuploid eggs at that age.

    There is a possibility of a pregnancy going to term but you're battling terrible odds. Probably a lot of your eggs are aneuploid so if you do IVF again I'd suggest PGS. There are studies out there suggesting that in some cases the mother will 'edit' the DNA of some aneuploid embryos, making them viable but for decision makers it's really just s numbers game.


  • Advertisement
Advertisement