5-year-old girl and constant overreaction and tantrums: what to do?

12-01-2020 9:50pm #1

I'm a guy and not sure what level of emotion to expect from my daughter, who has just become 5. She goes hysterical if she doesn't get her own way, or even when she thinks something is going to happen that she doesn't want. When everything is going her way, she is the most loving, affectionate and caring child conceivable. Today, I wouldn't let her watch any more tv and after going hysterical she unlocked the front door and ran out onto the street ostensibly running after her mother (who went to see a neighbour for 20 minutes or so). I ran after her but she made a huge scene. This is becoming more common, and is disturbing her younger sibling who covers his ears and asks her to stop. It doesn't help that she is very loud (we got her ears tested but no problem was identified).

Essentially, I'd like to know if this sort of behaviour is common, is it a phase or could it be something more permanent? Are there any sort of tactics other people use to try and get her to calm down and process things before reacting? Any sort of foods which make this behaviour more volatile, or would calm it?

Is there any sort of expert we could bring her to see because if there's any early intervention we could make now I'd rather do it than have something larger build up down the road. Thanks.

tracey01 · 14-01-2020 5:31pm

My child is 3 and was starting to get a bit difficult. I have started counting to 5 for everything. I tell him what I want/need him to do. Tell him I am counting to 5 and if he hasn't done it by then I give him a consequence or a reward depending on what he is to do.

For example bed time. If he gets out of bed I tell him I will count to 5 and he has to get back in or I will turn off the light (he goes to sleep with it on). If I just said get into bed or Ill turn off the light he ignores me. No idea why the counting works!

As well as that if I wanted him to stop watching cartoons I will give him a warning first of 5/2 min and then another 1 min warning. And then I ask him to press the button to turn it off. Using the counting at this point as well. He rarely has tantrums. So ill tell him I will count to 5 and he has to turn it off and he will get a treat.

Over Christmas he was watching the ipad and I gave him the time warnings but it lost battery before I got him to turn it off by himself and he had a massive tantrum. Just the loss of control over it he couldn't handle.

The counting method has saved me a lot of tantrums at this point! Might be something to try. I always (try) say it in a very calm way too so as not to get him to feed off my frustration.

Neyite · 16-01-2020 5:12pm

What happens at the end of the tantrum - does it fizzle out with the instruction from you still standing eg TV remains off or do you (or mother) back down or compromise with her? I guess what I'm asking is whether or not her tantrums work for her or not?

Also when she made the scene in public, what was your reaction?

Does she tantrum more with one of you than the other?

Lastly, what time of day was it? I generally find that tantrums tended to happen more often near bedtimes or meal times.

5-year-old girl and constant overreaction and tantrums: what to do?

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