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Are foreign women more approachable than Irish girls?

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13567…13

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    #62
    Shenshen
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,453 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shenshen


    As a foreign female, ones of the things I'm still not quite comfortable with is the gender separation in Ireland, for lack of a better word.

    I'm not talking about some legally enforced thing here, but the apparently cultural habit to separate into male and female groups at any larger social gathering. Any time I've been out with groups, be it from work, or from working with charities, or any kind of other gathering, most Irish people seem to pretty much instantly sort themselves into the female part and the male part of the group. On most occasions, the males spent the evening talking to the other males, and the females talking to the other females.

    Initially, when I wasn't at all familiar with this, I would have walked over to the male group to chat, who seemed rather uncomfortable about this, with conversation drying up fast. On returning to the female group, I was greeted with joking questions about how my attempt at flirting went, which only confused me further.

    From my personal experience, I would say an element about why Irish men find foreign women "easier" is possibly simply that those women aren't all that familiar with Irish etiquette where genders are concerned, and just chat with a stranger of the opposite sex without much thought being given.


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    #63
    Zorya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭Zorya


    Shenshen wrote: »
    As a foreign female, ones of the things I'm still not quite comfortable with is the gender separation in Ireland, for lack of a better word.

    I'm not talking about some legally enforced thing here, but the apparently cultural habit to separate into male and female groups at any larger social gathering. Any time I've been out with groups, be it from work, or from working with charities, or any kind of other gathering, most Irish people seem to pretty much instantly sort themselves into the female part and the male part of the group. On most occasions, the males spent the evening talking to the other males, and the females talking to the other females.

    Initially, when I wasn't at all familiar with this, I would have walked over to the male group to chat, who seemed rather uncomfortable about this, with conversation drying up fast. On returning to the female group, I was greeted with joking questions about how my attempt at flirting went, which only confused me further.

    From my personal experience, I would say an element about why Irish men find foreign women "easier" is possibly simply that those women aren't all that familiar with Irish etiquette where genders are concerned, and just chat with a stranger of the opposite sex without much thought being given.

    Lookit, if we talk to men at all next thing we'll be having dirty sex with them, and that's just not on.

    tumblr_o0379zZVPF1rlpicfo1_400.gif


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    #64
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,071 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Shenshen wrote: »
    As a foreign female, ones of the things I'm still not quite comfortable with is the gender separation in Ireland, for lack of a better word.

    I'm not talking about some legally enforced thing here, but the apparently cultural habit to separate into male and female groups at any larger social gathering. Any time I've been out with groups, be it from work, or from working with charities, or any kind of other gathering, most Irish people seem to pretty much instantly sort themselves into the female part and the male part of the group. On most occasions, the males spent the evening talking to the other males, and the females talking to the other females.

    Initially, when I wasn't at all familiar with this, I would have walked over to the male group to chat, who seemed rather uncomfortable about this, with conversation drying up fast. On returning to the female group, I was greeted with joking questions about how my attempt at flirting went, which only confused me further.

    From my personal experience, I would say an element about why Irish men find foreign women "easier" is possibly simply that those women aren't all that familiar with Irish etiquette where genders are concerned, and just chat with a stranger of the opposite sex without much thought being given.
    Bingo! Yep, that's quite noticeable in Irish culture. With as you say the inference, even expectation that if you're talking with someone of the opposite sex socially there must be some ulterior flirtation going on.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #65
    WillieMason
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 320 ✭✭WillieMason


    wakka12 wrote: »
    Theres plenty of women in ireland who are flirtatious and confident enough to ask a man out, I wouldnt say its that rare. Several women I know from other countries have said that men in ireland are more reserved than in their home countries about flirting or asking girls out though, so could be onto something

    It seems Irish women have beaten the confidence out of Irish men. If you look at all the countries in the world Ireland is probably one of the best for a woman to live in.


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    #66
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    WillieMason wrote: »
    It seems Irish women have beaten the confidence out of Irish men. If you look at all the countries in the world Ireland is probably one of the best for a woman to live in.

    And better than oxygen.


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    #67
    Zorya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭Zorya


    WillieMason wrote: »
    It seems Irish women have beaten the confidence out of Irish men. If you look at all the countries in the world Ireland is probably one of the best for a woman to live in.

    Just quoting for posterity.


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    #68
    Bigbagofcans
    Registered Users Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭Bigbagofcans


    WillieMason wrote: »
    It seems Irish women have beaten the confidence out of Irish men. If you look at all the countries in the world Ireland is probably one of the best for a woman to live in.

    I know quite a few women who completely control men in their relationship. It's painful to watch and I hate the term 'she wears the trousers'.
    No one should control you, man or woman.


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    #69
    WillieMason
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 320 ✭✭WillieMason


    It strikes me when i meet a friend whos dating a foreign woman hes happy, confident has his chest out always laughing. Then i try meet my friends who are dating a Irish woman first thing they do is ask there girlfriend is it ok to go out.


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    #70
    Deebles McBeebles
    Registered Users Posts: 5,748 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    WillieMason wrote: »
    It strikes me when i meet a friend whos dating a foreign woman hes happy, confident has his chest out always laughing. Then i try meet my friends who are dating a Irish woman first thing they do is ask there girlfriend is it ok to go out.

    Is that really the girlfriends fault or are some of your mates hooking up with a new version of mammy?


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    #71
    irishguitarlad
    Registered Users Posts: 2,746 ✭✭✭irishguitarlad


    Tommy Halpin Kelly wrote: »
    Something funny I've noticed, I'm in my 20s and have never dated but have been flirted on two times both by a 24yr old spanish lady at Nice airport waiting to board and two 18yr old girls sitting beside me on a flight to New York.

    It seems to echo what lads say about how when they go abroad, foreign women are either more open to random approaches and/or they'll be flirted on with women. I can't ever say that an Irish girl has done that.

    Generalizations are not good of course but in general (lol), it seems that women here would be hard pressed to give you the time of day.

    That Spanish girl may not have been flirting with you. Spanish people tend to be very touchey feely, with lots of eye contact. What you think maybe flirting is to them something like a normal social interaction.


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    #72
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    Deebles McBeebles wrote: »
    Don't see anyone bringing looks into it to be fair. Your post was the first to do so.

    It usually descends into that though. Give it time.


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    #73
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Especially if you've found some impoverished non-EU citizen who barely understands your language and attached socio-economic-cultural nuances as well as the women from your own country and culture do. For the first time in your life you find somebody who views you as some sort of exotic God.

    Yes, one could see how that might be attractive to the losers who feel the need to look down on Irish women.
    Mr. Incognito wrote: »
    I actually think that's quite racist.

    Hilarious.

    Mr. Incognito wrote: »
    Most people who travel here are not impoverished but are from very high socio-economic backgrounds to afford to travel here from Countries with quite poor currencies and exchange rates.

    Ha. I look forward to a similarly ridiculously irrelevant argument in favour of every other emigrant in world history. Given your "racist" generalisations about Irish women, I suspect you won't extend this flattering not-so-profound analysis to the Irish emigrants to America in, say, 1855? Really ridiculous.
    Mr. Incognito wrote: »
    Most also have better English than a lot of Irish people who are poorly educated.

    Once again, the "I'm going to show how enlightened and non-racist I am by putting down the Irish" approach. A genuinely enlightened person could manage all this without swipes at Irish women generally and the supposed backwardness of Irish culture generally.
    Mr. Incognito wrote: »
    You obviously have a serious chip on your shoulder.

    I'm not the one making silly put-downs on all Irish women. That sort of stuff doesn't come from somebody who has had positive experiences from them (because they're all a homogeneous group, of course). As said, it's much easier for a compatriot in any culture to spot a person's character and his socio-economic-cultural-educational achievements than it is for a foreign woman to do so. And it's precisely that which usually intimidates the "Irish women are so repressed" crowd.

    PS: Your "I'm so enlightened because I travel around the world" attitude is also entertaining, as if the rest of us have never done so just because we decided to settle in Ireland. Not to throw you entirely overboard here, but if you're still travelling after a certain age it's usually not a good sign.


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    #74
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    WillieMason wrote: »
    It seems Irish women have beaten the confidence out of Irish men. If you look at all the countries in the world Ireland is probably one of the best for a woman to live in.

    Is it not a good thing that ireland is a great place for women to live :confused:


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    #75
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    Ray Palmer wrote: »
    I don't see people just referring to non-EU citizens. If you think all is nice with Irish relationships you might just be missing genuine issues. Some behaviour and expectations in Irish relationships are not healthy nor good.

    There are plenty of Irish people of both sexes trying to recreate their parents relationships. Not sure if they lack imagination or just don't understand how to make their own choices.

    I know polish women who don't want a polish relationship as it is quite sexist and much prefer Irish men as a result. While I know Irish women that expect the man to provide everything and work for the family and treat partners like another child to be controlled.

    It is really rare to find Irish women who don’t expect to work at all. If there are kids in the picture, women are more likely to work part-time than men but the other half of their day will be ably filled with childcare and doing more of the housework than their husband so it all evens out. The bone idle Irish woman you describe here is alien to me.


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    #76
    Assetbacked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,969 ✭✭✭Assetbacked


    Wibbs wrote: »
    Bingo! Yep, that's quite noticeable in Irish culture. With as you say the inference, even expectation that if you're talking with someone of the opposite sex socially there must be some ulterior flirtation going on.

    Most of the time there is.


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    #77
    Wheety
    Registered Users Posts: 5,510 ✭✭✭Wheety


    OP, how come you've never dated?


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    #78
    SusieBlue
    Registered Users Posts: 8,029 ✭✭✭SusieBlue


    eviltwin wrote: »
    Is it not a good thing that ireland is a great place for women to live :confused:

    In other words, we should be grateful that the menfolk don't still have us chained to the kitchen sink & stop moaning about our lot. :rolleyes:


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    #79
    greenspurs
    Registered Users Posts: 10,218 ✭✭✭✭greenspurs


    and once again, the majority of women are getting offended ....

    Isnt that another reason why Irish women are becoming so difficult to live with/understand/comprehend/listen to ?

    The majority of them feel the need to "stand up for women" and be outraged/upset continually.! Even when a simple question is asked on a thread.... Its very tiresome at this stage, monotonous and boring.
    247469249_2017413731748359_7675802031635703098_n.jpg

    "Bright lights and Thunder .................... "



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    #80
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 25,611 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Anywhere outside of Ireland I get more matches on Tinder in a day than in a month here, I have girls come up to talk to me at bars, I can have a conversation without being given a dirty look for having the nerve to try etc. It's a bit annoying how it happens the same everywhere, so yeah, I think maybe my issues aren't totally down to me. :pac:


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    #81
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    Irish women tend to be very picky.

    Often when they have no real business being picky themselves.


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    #82
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Church on Tuesday wrote: »
    Irish women tend to be very picky.

    Often when they have no real business being picky themselves.

    Picky in relation to looks? I think most couples are quite similar in the looks dept. you'd rarely see a couple where one is a stunner and the other much less good looking imo.


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    #83
    Shenshen
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 9,453 Mod ✭✭✭✭Shenshen


    Assetbacked wrote: »
    Most of the time there is.


    See, that's what I mean.

    In many cultures, most of the time, there isn't. It's just people chatting with each other.
    But in my experience here, people are very quick to assume it's a flirt, simply because "man just chatting to woman" or "woman just chatting to man" doesn't happen very often at all.


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    #84
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Shenshen wrote: »
    See, that's what I mean.

    In many cultures, most of the time, there isn't. It's just people chatting with each other.
    But in my experience here, people are very quick to assume it's a flirt, simply because "man just chatting to woman" or "woman just chatting to man" doesn't happen very often at all.

    On a night out with drink on board there usually is a bit of flirting going on imo.


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    #85
    Zorya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭Zorya


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Picky in relation to looks? I think most couples are quite similar in the looks dept. you'd rarely see a couple where one is a stunner and the other much less good looking imo.

    It depends, though...some guys have super personalities.

    harvey-weinstein-photo-u3?w=650&q=50&fm=jpg&fit=crop&crop=faces

    salman-rushdie-photo-u8?w=650&q=50&fm=jpg&fit=crop&crop=faces

    main-qimg-6af3dedf517d6e5cef49392097376e74-c


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    #86
    retro:electro
    Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    Ah this thread again. You wouldn’t feel the year going.


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    #87
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Lol.. You know what I mean Zorya.


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    #88
    Triceratops Ballet
    Registered Users Posts: 4,894 ✭✭✭Triceratops Ballet


    greenspurs wrote: »
    and once again, the majority of women are getting offended ....

    Isnt that another reason why Irish women are becoming so difficult to live with/understand/comprehend/listen to ?

    The majority of them feel the need to "stand up for women" and be outraged/upset continually.! Even when a simple question is asked on a thread.... Its very tiresome at this stage, monotonous and boring.

    No what's tiresome, monotonous and boring is constantly seeing threads where Irish women are basically lambasted for not being as flirtatious/good looking/thin/as good at making sandwiches as foreign women. When actually the Irish lads levelling these accusations could do with a long hard look at themselves in the mirror.

    We all get more attention abroad, or from people who view us as exotic. That's not news or unique to men.
    I love speaking to foreign men, they have a much easier charm and sensuality about them especially Mediterranean or Latin men, don't get me wrong all the men I've ever really loved were Irish men, but all of my favourite dalliances have been with foreign men. Foreign men are also much more straightforward, approachable, and into making the approach than Irish men. They don't need buckets of Dutch courage to try and start a conversation, I've also never had a foreign bloke call me a "forking b1tch" when I declined his advances.
    IMO It's pretty safe to say that Irish people in general are terrible at flirting and with the opposite sex. Yet there's innumerable threads here that could basically be titled "women, amirite?" when actually it's an evenly dispersed problem among Irish men and women.


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    #89
    Assetbacked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,969 ✭✭✭Assetbacked


    Shenshen wrote: »
    See, that's what I mean.

    In many cultures, most of the time, there isn't. It's just people chatting with each other.
    But in my experience here, people are very quick to assume it's a flirt, simply because "man just chatting to woman" or "woman just chatting to man" doesn't happen very often at all.

    I can safely say that the majority of straight men will have some thoughts of sleeping with the girl if they're conversing well.


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    #90
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,071 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Assetbacked wrote: »
    Most of the time there is.
    I wouldn't agree. Certainly not in non pub/club/social settings. I would say the vast majority of the time I'm in conversation with women there's zero flirtation going on. Even in pub/club/social I can quite happily chat with women without an ulterior motive and do. Crazy shit to be thinking, but there it is.

    This kinda backs up what Shenshen noted from an "outsider" perspective and what I've noted myself as an "outsider" in other cultures*. Yes flirtation goes on elsewhere and ulterior motives abound. After all people want to get it on with other people, but it does seem to me that there's far more of the nudge nudge wink wink thing here in Ireland compared to other places I've been.

    EG I have women mates, no sexy stuff between us ever, nor would their be and this was accepted far less readily by Irish girlfriends(and male mates with it), who tended to think either something was going on, they were exes, or torches were being held by one or both of the parties. Now I'd reckon we'd all tend to think like that in our teens say, but to get that vibe from people in their 20/30/40's even older is a little more noticeable here. To be fair that's just my experience, your mileage may differ.







    *European only TBH. Little idea of this sorta thing beyond that.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #91
    Zorya
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭Zorya


    Assetbacked wrote: »
    I can safely say that the majority of straight men will have some thoughts of sleeping with the girl if they're conversing well.

    Even if its his granny ? :confused:


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