Sex as Fun (?)

seenitall · 31-10-2019 9:13pm #1

I've always heard this a lot, even used the expression myself, as interchangable with sex, but I don't think it has ever quite gelled with me. And I know it isn't just me being a woman not a man thing, at all. (But it could be a part of it?)

What is it then, why can't I get on board - or do I even want to (I don't think so)

For me, sex with another person (as opposed to with myself, heh) is a helluva intense situation. I have been with many people in my life, had ONS and other casual setups but - Fun is still the last word that comes to mind. Does that make sense to anyone else here..?

Fun is going to cinema. Traveling to a new destination. Having a natter with a friend over some good food. Laughing with my daughter about some crazy meme she has just discovered online. Fun is fantastic, but it is not something my quality of life will suffer greatly if it is not forthcoming for a while.

Sex is a need. For a physical release, and for a human connection, the likes of which it is impossible (or in any case, much more difficult) to realise with your clothes on. Intimacy like that, with another human being - so important to have that once in a while. However, I've never ever been able to get down and dirty with anyone I haven't been wildly attracted to (I don't drink, so no drink goggles thing has gone on!). Most people are different to that, as I understand? Especially men?

Sex is a way of communication, an expression of trust, a wonderful means to an intensity of oblivion.

But fun? Hm.

(No PMs please. Don't even.)

Quantum Erasure · 31-10-2019 9:16pm

seenitall wrote: »

But fun? Hm.

(No PM's please. Don't even.)

...odd

Captain Red Beard · 31-10-2019 9:17pm

You're over thinking it and sound like you're overdue a solid drilling.

seenitall · 31-10-2019 9:19pm

Quantum Erasure wrote: »

...odd

You'd understand if you'd seen the contents of my inbox through the years. I'm sure most female posters have the same.

Ubbquittious · 31-10-2019 9:19pm

Beechwoodspark · 31-10-2019 9:19pm

Captain Red Beard wrote: »

You're over thinking it and sound like you're overdue a solid drilling.

You’ve totally misread the post

Stark · 31-10-2019 9:22pm

Procreation not recreation

TheValeyard · 31-10-2019 9:25pm

Stark wrote: »

Procreation not recreation

Definitely more of a recreation fan of sex. The procreation part seems to kill off any and all recreation activities.

eviltwin · 31-10-2019 9:26pm

If sex isn't fun what's the point

seenitall · 31-10-2019 9:26pm

Beechwoodspark wrote: »

You’ve totally misread the post

Nah, they are right

up to a point. However I am celibate at the moment for a valid reason, and that is how it will stay for a while. We always overthink on the stuff we miss!

Bigdig69 · 31-10-2019 9:26pm

As a straight man who has a quite a record, some of which included VERY foolish choices, I agree 100% with the OPs sentiments.

SEPT 23 1989 · 31-10-2019 9:28pm

Sounds a bit gay chief

Plumbthedepths · 31-10-2019 9:28pm

My wife and I have all different types of sex. Frantic, romantic, intense, messy and fun definitely features aswell.

BorneTobyWilde · 31-10-2019 9:30pm

I thinking sleeping around for you has become a bad habit. That you only date players, and it always ends up the same way.

Gynoid · 31-10-2019 9:30pm

seenitall wrote: »

You'd understand if you'd seen the contents of my inbox through the years. I'm sure most female posters have the same.

Nope, not a one, ever. Just warnings in any of my mails over the years, an occasional co-conspirator on a political topic. No love letters. You just gotta be enough of a big ol forbidding argumentative scary bitch and.... people leave you alone.

I do have sex for fun though. Sometimes. Depends. Anything can happen, from the reluctant mercy fcuk all the way to raw need. Tis life.

31-10-2019 9:31pm

OP . Maybe you need to “unsee” it all, and start again?

31-10-2019 9:32pm

Beechwoodspark wrote: »

You’ve totally misread the post

Are you licking up to the OP?

You are, admit it :P

Beechwoodspark · 31-10-2019 9:34pm

OP what about a sexual creativity course ?

Sounds like you’ve hit a dead end

Did it myself over the years. A feeling you have done every position and fetish in the book and not in the book!

Then you meet a lady who only have reserved vanilla sez with but you are ok with that ... cuz you know the downside of the complete no holes barred life.

BorneTobyWilde · 31-10-2019 9:34pm

GreeBo · 31-10-2019 9:35pm

seenitall wrote: »

I've always heard this a lot, even used the expression myself, as interchangable with sex, but I don't think it has ever quite gelled with me. And I know it isn't just me being a woman not a man thing, at all. (But it could be a part of it?)

What is it then, why can't I get on board - or do I even want to (I don't think so)

For me, sex with another person (as opposed to with myself, heh) is a helluva intense situation. I have been with many people in my life, had ONS and other casual setups but - Fun is still the last word that comes to mind. Does that make sense to anyone else here..?

Fun is going to cinema. Traveling to a new destination. Having a natter with a friend over some good food. Laughing with my daughter about some crazy meme she has just discovered online. Fun is fantastic, but it is not something my quality of life will suffer greatly if it is not forthcoming for a while.

Sex is a need. For a physical release, and for a human connection, the likes of which it is impossible (or in any case, much more difficult) to realise with your clothes on. Intimacy like that, with another human being - so important to have that once in a while. However, I've never ever been able to get down and dirty with anyone I haven't been wildly attracted to (I don't drink, so no drink goggles thing has gone on!). Most people are different to that, as I understand? Especially men?

Sex is a way of communication, an expression of trust, a wonderful means to an intensity of oblivion.

But fun? Hm.

(No PMs please. Don't even.)

Sex is not the same as making love any more than kissing your granny is the same as kissing your partner or your child.

seenitall · 31-10-2019 9:35pm

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

I thinking sleeping around for you has become a bad habit. That you only date players, and it always ends up the same way.

Thank you. Will consider that. I've certainly plenty of time to, at the moment.

ChikiChiki · 31-10-2019 9:36pm

I think the fun part is the chase tbh.

BorneTobyWilde · 31-10-2019 9:37pm

seenitall wrote: »

Thank you. Will consider that. I've certainly plenty of time to, at the moment.

Repetition forms habit, and then becomes second nature.

Temptamperu · 31-10-2019 9:38pm

I havent had sex since I quit drinking. I dont trust like that.

Panthro · 31-10-2019 9:38pm

Top tip: Keep it fun by telling a few jokes while yer banging.
And everyone loves a good magic trick.

31-10-2019 9:42pm

Panthro wrote: »

Top tip: Keep it fun by telling a few jokes while yer banging.
And everyone loves a good magic trick.

OMG- sounds like an episode of Ireland’s Got Talent :eek:

seenitall · 31-10-2019 9:44pm

Beechwoodspark wrote: »

OP what about a sexual creativity course ?

Sounds like you’ve hit a dead end

Did it myself over the years. A feeling you have done every position and fetish in the book and not in the book!

Then you meet a lady who only have reserved vanilla sez with but you are ok with that ... cuz you know the downside of the complete no holes barred life.

Ok, this is a bit off topic, but I am actually pretty vanilla, compared to what I hear kids get up to these days... and the reason I have a good bit of experience is, ugh, my age essentially. Anyone getting to my age who hasn't been in some big long termers will have the same (well, hopefully!)

Raconteuse · 31-10-2019 9:44pm

eviltwin wrote: »

If sex isn't fun what's the point

That's the only thing it could be?

Totally agreed OP. Fun is having a house party. There are many many other positive experiences besides fun so i don't know why that term is used about sex. I don't think it suits it either.

You'll get snarky comments of course because people always feel the need to tell folk here that any alternate way of looking at sex (outside of "it's fun!") makes them feel uncomfortable, but ignore.

misterme123 · 31-10-2019 9:44pm

seenitall wrote: »

(No PMs please. Don't even.)

Maybe you just haven't been PMed by the right guy.

seenitall · 31-10-2019 9:48pm

misterme123 wrote: »

Maybe you just haven't been PMed by the right guy.

Lol. I'm not thanking this, for the obvious reasons!

eviltwin · 31-10-2019 9:53pm

Raconteuse wrote: »

That's the only thing it could be?

Totally agreed OP. Fun is having a house party. There are many many other positive experiences besides fun so i don't know why that term is used about sex. I don't think it suits it either.

You'll get snarky comments of course because people always feel the need to tell folk here that any alternate way of looking at sex (outside of "it's fun!") makes them feel uncomfortable, but ignore.

Did I say it's all it can be? It can be a lot of things but it should most definitely be fun. Sometimes it's just riding someone you really fancy, you've no need to form a mental connection, you just want to enjoy the experience and there is nothing wrong with that.

Sex as Fun (?)

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