Oddest booktitle of the year

I’ve been reading the Guardian late at night after working long hours and before I shut down the laptop, and came across this delightful article (avoiding any news that would give me nightmares):
www.theguardian.com/books/2017/jul/07/shortlist-for-2017s-oddest-book-title-award-diagram-prize

There is an annual prize for the oddest booktitle of the year, and boy I don’t need any make-up remover tonight, because I laughed so hard that not a trace of eyeliner is left.

I actually didn’t know that anyone could dream up such book titles, like:

Nipples on my knee
The commuter pig keeper
How to avoid huge ships
The Madam as Entrepreneur: Career Management in House Prostitution
Oral Sadism and the Vegetarian Personality
American Bottom Archaeology
Reusing Old Graves: A Report on Popular British Attitudes
Designing High Performance Stiffened Structures
How to Poo on a Date

There are many more, and they are all real.
Google "Bookseller Diagram Prize for Oddest Title of the Year"

Now I’m thinking about to write a book with a fetching title. I’d like to get that prize (it’s a bottle of Claret). But I can’t come up with anything at this hour.

Any suggestions?