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Men with a fetish for taken women.

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  • 16-12-2018 11:12am
    #1
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 17,381 ✭


    A guy I work with has made it quite clear over beers on different nights that he's only interested in married or long-term committed women.

    Pretty much all of us are in that position so I feel it's a bit tone deaf. Like he wants to be with all of our wives and girlfriends.


    Is that common? I think it's fairly scummy to be honest.


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Comments

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    #2
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,267 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    He's a creep


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    #3
    nice_guy80
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,723 ✭✭✭nice_guy80


    You shalt not* covet your neighbour's wife

    *****unless she's really hot


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    #4
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    don't hate the player


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    #5
    riffmongous
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,625 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    765530.jpg?b64lines=QW5kIGhlcmUgY29tZXMgdGhlIHJlcmVncw==


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    #6
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 17,381 ✭ [Deleted User]


    riffmongous wrote: »
    765530.jpg?b64lines=QW5kIGhlcmUgY29tZXMgdGhlIHJlcmVncw==

    Ah yes, the travellers who converted to Islam taking our women.


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    #7
    Omackeral
    Registered Users Posts: 32,956 ✭✭✭✭Omackeral


    Found him

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQ9W7yh_4DA


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    #8
    Omackeral
    Registered Users Posts: 32,956 ✭✭✭✭Omackeral


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Ah yes, the travellers who converted to Islam taking our women.

    While simultaneously drawing the dole and stealing our jobs


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    #9
    Kimbot
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 18,429 Mod ✭✭✭✭Kimbot


    Oryx won't be too happy with your mate.....


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    #10
    SEPT 23 1989
    Registered Users Posts: 43,024 ✭✭✭✭SEPT 23 1989


    Is it not usually the other way around?

    Single hens chasing married c0ck?


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    #11
    Day Lewin
    Registered Users Posts: 4,604 ✭✭✭Day Lewin


    There are plenty of guys who find that this scenario avoids a lot of the messiness. No hearts broken, no strings attached.

    Plenty of women would agree, too.

    I appreciate the outrage on the part of men - and women, in the vice-versa mode - whose partners are willing to try someone new...but individuals have agency. It is worth examinining one's own motives when this kind of thing turns up.

    Do I own my partner? Does he/she own me? What is the nature of our commitment to each other, and is it always unconditional? If not, what are the conditions under which either of us may break our agreement, (whatever it is)??

    And etc etc etc etc etc


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    #12
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    Day Lewin wrote: »
    There are plenty of guys who find that this scenario avoids a lot of the messiness. No hearts broken, no strings attached.

    Plenty of women would agree, too.

    I appreciate the outrage on the part of men - and women, in the vice-versa mode - whose partners are willing to try someone new...but individuals have agency. It is worth examinining one's own motives when this kind of thing turns up.

    Do I own my partner? Does he/she own me? What is the nature of our commitment to each other, and is it always unconditional? If not, what are the conditions under which either of us may break our agreement, (whatever it is)??

    And etc etc etc etc etc
    My motive is that I don't want to unwittingly raise someone else's bastard


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    #13
    fergus1001
    Registered Users Posts: 2,625 ✭✭✭fergus1001


    Day Lewin wrote:
    Do I own my partner? Does he/she own me? What is the nature of our commitment to each other, and is it always unconditional? If not, what are the conditions under which either of us may break our agreement, (whatever it is)??


    well then don't commit or marry said partner


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    #14
    TheValeyard
    Registered Users Posts: 12,206 ✭✭✭✭TheValeyard


    Liam Neesons new Taken film has taken a dramatic change of direction.

    Fcuk Putin. Glory to Ukraine!



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    #15
    Fr_Dougal
    Registered Users Posts: 9,167 ✭✭✭Fr_Dougal


    It takes two to tango.


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    #16
    Alf Veedersane
    Registered Users Posts: 24,551 ✭✭✭✭Alf Veedersane


    Murray TheDemonic TalkingSkull wrote: »
    Liam Neesons new Taken film has taken a dramatic change of direction.

    "I will find you...and I will fûck you".


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    #17
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 17,381 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Fr_Dougal wrote: »
    It takes two to tango.

    While true, would you willingly put your girlfriend or wife in a position where your work colleague tries it on with her?


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    #18
    Larbre34
    Registered Users Posts: 23,796 ✭✭✭✭Larbre34


    Don't worry, I hear he's not bothered with your piece.


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    #19
    RocketRaccoon
    Registered Users Posts: 4,393 ✭✭✭RocketRaccoon


    I've a "friend" like that, he said it to me loads of times. He's in Galway now so my wife is save from his advances.


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    #20
    B.A._Baracus
    Registered Users Posts: 11,171 ✭✭✭✭B.A._Baracus


    Hey ads by google,

    1, he's a wan*er.
    2, he's a wan*er who has been watching too much "man fu*ks wife" porn and got off to it too much.
    3, If in the eventual future he gets married would he get off knowing his wife is screwing other men? Most likely not.


    So in conclusion... he's a wan*er. In both sense of the word.


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    #21
    mariaalice
    Registered Users Posts: 12,361 ✭✭✭✭mariaalice


    Its insecurity, if they reject him he says it is because they are married or in a relationships not because they are not interested in him probable not fully aware of that himself.


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    #22
    razorblunt
    Registered Users Posts: 17,300 ✭✭✭✭razorblunt


    That's a bit weird alright to be so outright driven by it.

    At the same time I've turned women down on nights out by saying I'm married and showing the ring. Often that doesn't deter them at all.


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    #23
    King of Kings
    Registered Users Posts: 1,695 ✭✭✭King of Kings


    mariaalice wrote: »
    Its insecurity, if they reject him he says it is because they are married or in a relationships not because they are not interested in him probable not fully aware of that himself.


    I'd wonder how much action this guy actually gets. i'd say it minimal and he uses the excuse he only like attached women.

    Also a married woman that has an ONS is usually unhappy at home...if he actually gets the ride he'll eventually find a nutter who sees him as an escape route from her current situation. He's fcuked then...and most likely a husband only happy to pass her on.


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    #24
    Irishcrx
    Registered Users Posts: 2,861 ✭✭✭Irishcrx




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    #25
    ArtSmart
    Registered Users Posts: 5,614 ✭✭✭ArtSmart


    Irishcrx wrote: »
    Any excuse...


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    #26
    qwerty ui op
    Registered Users Posts: 364 ✭✭qwerty ui op


    Deleted User wrote: »
    A guy I work with has made it quite clear over beers on different nights that he's only interested in married or long-term committed women.

    Pretty much all of us are in that position so I feel it's a bit tone deaf. Like he wants to be with all of our wives and girlfriends.


    Is that common? I think it's fairly scummy to be honest.



    Reducing his options, while jumping straight onto the weirdo train.

    Has he had much luck?


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    #27
    Bigbagofcans
    Registered Users Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭Bigbagofcans


    Is that what cuckolding is?

    It's weird and if I knew men that were into that then my first thoughts would be that he's insecure or looking for a bored married woman he can get with easily.


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    #28
    bnt
    Registered Users Posts: 12,957 ✭✭✭✭bnt


    Meanwhile, it's been well-established that women prefer men who are already in relationships:
    [The study's authors] speculate that single women may be more drawn to attached men because they’ve already been “pre-screened” by other women and found to be satisfactory as a mate, whereas single men are more of an unknown quantity.
    Isn't evolution weird? ;)

    From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a bitch’.

    — Edgar Mitchell, Apollo 14 Astronaut



  • Options
    #29
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Bigbagofcans wrote: »
    Is that what cuckolding is?

    It's weird and if I knew men that were into that then my first thoughts would be that he's insecure or looking for a bored married woman he can get with easily.

    Cuckolding is generally done with the consent and knowledge of the people involved. I think what the OP is describing is infidelity and cheating and is somewhat predatory.

    In the modern sense of the word (I think the definition has changed over time) cuckolding is the practice of getting arousal from observing your own partner - or knowledge of your partner - with other people. It is in fact something I have been tempted to explore myself on occasion bordering on "not if but when".

    The guy in the OP is getting aroused from the opposite end of that - being with someone else's partner without (I assume) their knowledge.

    It could be an insecurity thing - as others have pointed out it gives a person an excuse for not pulling as he can blame it on their relationship rather than their disinterest in him.

    It could also be a vicarious arousal thing. We men tend to get aroused by the fact of a woman getting aroused. So signs they are being mightily turned on are arousing to us. That a woman might be so turned on and into sex that they would break their relationship or marital vows to give in to it - might be a vicarious turn on for this guy too as it signals to him in his mind how "into it" she must be.


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    #30
    Fr_Dougal
    Registered Users Posts: 9,167 ✭✭✭Fr_Dougal


    Deleted User wrote: »
    While true, would you willingly put your girlfriend or wife in a position where your work colleague tries it on with her?

    You can’t watch your partner and you can’t control who they interact with. If I witnessed a colleague busting a move on a partner I’d probably have very stern words and if that didn’t work I’d deck him.
    But outside of that, there’s very little you can do to stop people like that. You really need to be able to trust your partner, they’ll have plenty of opportunities to be unfaithful and generally it won’t come out of the blue. I had a married ex seek me out before.


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    #31
    Richard Hillman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,033 ✭✭✭✭Richard Hillman


    It is natural to attempt to become an alpha male. What these people are attempting to do is to convince the female that he is more masculine than her partner. Thus spreading his seed and nullifying the power of the previous mate.


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