Dumped by a Brazilian model

lanos wrote: »

did you mean reiterate ?

Wibbs wrote: »

The willy wants what the willy wants.

Nah, joking aside B, the chaps age may have little enough to do with it, it's usually the miles on the clock not the year on the reg plate. Now this may not be anything like a reflection on Bajer's relationship history, but on average and as a major generalisation, a man in his mid 40's might have had a few flings/snogs in his teens, early 20's. Not a lot of learning going on. Then meets someone at say 23, usually through blind luck rather than purposeful pursuit, that lasts for a few years but goes south, then another comes along that again lasts for a few years, might even end up in marriage. If said marriage or long termer goes south when he's 40, his overall life experience of the ladies is actually quite low and his relationship experience could be based on only two or three women tops. It can go another way too, where the horndog racks up the notches but his relationship experience mightn't even amount to 1. He can get women, but has no clue when he has one to build a mutually cool relationship.

bajer101 wrote: »

Then my daughter's mother for five years and then a two year relationship which ended a few years ago. In between there have been a few other casual relationships.

OnTheCouch wrote: »

OP, I'm going to first of all reiterate a few things that have been mentioned already by other posters.

To start with the title: 'Dumped by a Brazilian model.' This is clearly going to attract timewasters and it would have been far more sensible to put something like 'Dumped by girl I really fell for,' if you wanted serious answers/discussion, which I presume you do. Plus Personal Issues may have been a better forum also. Anything with 'model' in the title is going to attract the wrong sort of attention, believe me. All you needed to do was refer to her looks in the main body of the text.

Secondly, as others have said, you seem to be quite incredulous as to why she would have gone for you in the first place. None of us know who you are, but it's perfectly feasible you have a great sense of humour and are very laid back and non-possessive. She might feel extremely comfortable around you, perhaps you playfully tease her or something like that, all of which can be very attractive to a woman. You might be quite direct and tell her where she is going wrong in English or other things. Especially if she is a head-turner, she probably tends to get men worshipping her every move, so implying she is not perfect can be sometimes extremely appealing. She may like the fact you offer stability and/or a steady job. If the part about her having an ex into drugs is true, she may not have had much of this in her dealings with men up to now. I think it was Wibbs in another post that said that although very attractive women get a huge amount of attention, a lot of it is from the same type of men: the player, out-going, cocky, direct type. You may provide a wonderful contrast to this.

Plus maybe she has low self-esteem, we don't know what she looked like growing up, perhaps she had relationships before where the men continually called her ugly or whatever. Possibly you suffer from low self-esteem yourself and are unintentionally downplaying your own positive points. Leagues certainly do exist, but I would suggest it is probably easier on the whole for men to date up than it is for women.

Slightly more controversially, given she is 35 and presumably childless, she may be looking for a safe and stable relationship if she does want to go down the family route. Plus you said she is not looking for money. This is likely to be true I'm sure, but the differences between rich and poor in Brazil are far more striking than they are in Ireland. While she may not be looking for a castle and a title of nobility, if she has had a difficult time growing up, even having square meals a day can be quite appealing. Certainly a lot more so than they would for an Irish girl from a working-class background for instance. Again, however this is pure speculation, you'd have to give us more information about her past for us to be able to make a better judgment.

From what you have said however, it does appear that the relationship does seem to be over. This may not necessarily be your fault. I remember a female friend telling me of an occasion where she went out with a guy and then upon waking up one morning just suddenly felt no attraction for him. But it was nothing he did per se. Sometimes love blinds us. And we get a realisation out of the blue that this person is not for keeping. As I say, it was possibly nothing to do with you at all. Others have mentioned the ex. Maybe him coming back into her life suddenly rekindled the intial feelings she had for him and this blew her mind in the wrong way. Many women have lots of female friends. Possibly one of them expressed a misgiving about you and she really took it to heart. This 'support network' can often help in making up their mind one way or another. Or as you suggest yourself, you were only one of several men she was seeing at the time, which sadly can be relatively common. Maybe she made a decision that one of the others offered a better overall package.

The thing with your daughter is rather strange. It's very hard to judge whether she is obsessed through insecurity about blonde haired girls (I assume this girl is a dark-skinned/Latina type) or as others have suggested, something altogether more sinister. This might be a warning sign whatever the reason.

I'll conclude by saying that the insecurity and game-playing may likely be an indication that she wasn't right for you in the long-term. As hard as this may be for you to hear now. Whereas I think women of any age can get jealous and be insecure, the game-playing should really be weeded out by the mid-twenties at the very latest. Well...perhaps I'm being optimistic there, but you know what I mean.

The Facebook blocking is also bizarre. It really reminds me of a similar tale of mine last year, I was seeing this girl for a bit, she was (in my opinion anyway) very attractive. Although we weren't really serious or anything and were still at the stage of getting to know each other. Like yourself, most of our communication was done over Facebook when not together. I was on holiday then for a few days and during one day I had no access to the internet until the evening. When I returned I saw she had left at least four messages. But it was all about her the whole time. Her issues with friends/parents/job etc. We then spoke and I told her that I was disappointed that she hadn't once asked about how my holiday was going and suggested that she should perhaps think about someone other than herself. This really seemed to cause a meltdown as she told me how 'arrogant' I was, deleted me then and there from Facebook and refused to answer any subsequent calls or texts. About six months later, I saw that she had 'undeleted me,' ie you can see their profile publicly. This is not the case if you have been deleted, so I added her again. She didn't really want to discuss the incident. We do talk from time to time nowadays on there, but I haven't seen her now for over a year. That one episode just made it horribly clear to me she was a complete headcase - or at the very least had huge insecurity issues, and was one to steer clear of romantically. Similar to the girl in your situation. It could be that you may have had a lucky escape here OP. Best of luck.

thelad95 wrote: »

When are the schools back?