What's the etiquette here??

dulpit · 08-10-2019 11:09am

YFlyer wrote: »

England v Ireland. Either 1988 or 1990. Dropped a load while sitting near the centre circle. A spursy thing to do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2R1QABw5v_w

EmmetSpiceland · 08-10-2019 11:09am

Dr Strange wrote: »

I must say kudos to all the spouses/partners for putting up with these situations while suffering in silence.

Are you kidding me? I get an “earful” nearly every weekend.

That’s with opening the window, lighting matches, lighting candles and even burning hair to try “mask” the smell.

Silence me hole.

Hector Savage · 08-10-2019 11:17am

dulpit wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2R1QABw5v_w

WTAF!

Then he continued playing after clearing his jocks with his hand and wiping it on the grass!!!

08-10-2019 11:25am

Went to the gym this morning before work. Got home with about twenty minutes to spare to shower and get ready for work when my housemate decides that would be the perfect time to take a dump. The ****ing fent the bastard left in there is unreal. ****er didn't even open the window or use the bottle of Fabreeze I bought. I was about ten minutes late for work too. This means war.

EmmetSpiceland · 08-10-2019 11:34am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Went to the gym this morning before work. Got home with about twenty minutes to spare to shower and get ready for work when my housemate decides that would be the perfect time to take a dump. The ****ing fent the bastard left in there is unreal. ****er didn't even open the window or use the bottle of Fabreeze I bought. I was about ten minutes late for work too. This means war.

A “Dutch sauna”.

padd b1975 · 08-10-2019 11:49am

YFlyer wrote: »

England v Ireland. Either 1988 or 1990. Dropped a load while sitting near the centre circle. A spursy thing to do.

Apparently he overindulged at a seafood banquet the previous evening.

Scallops were on the turn according to those in the know.

Might even have been sabotage....it happened the All Blacks in 95 allegedly.

EmmetSpiceland · 08-10-2019 11:55am

padd b1975 wrote: »

Might even have been sabotage....it happened the All Blacks in 95 allegedly.

Only “Suzie” knows for sure.

padd b1975 · 08-10-2019 11:58am

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Only “Suzie” knows for sure.

You're going to have to explain that one if you don't mind.

EmmetSpiceland · 08-10-2019 12:08pm

padd b1975 wrote: »

You're going to have to explain that one if you don't mind.

The “theory” goes that a waitress named “Suzie” was the source of the poisoning. I believe it was delivered through the tea that the team drank with breakfast.

She was hired a few days previous and then “disappeared” the day of, indeed, after. No one has been able to locate or identify this woman.

YFlyer · 08-10-2019 12:11pm

padd b1975 wrote: »

Apparently he overindulged at a seafood banquet the previous evening.

Scallops were on the turn according to those in the know.

Might even have been sabotage....it happened the All Blacks in 95 allegedly.

Perhaps he was looking into seafood crisps. Dragons Den put a stop to that.

Sonia O'Sullivan helped herself as well.

padd b1975 · 08-10-2019 12:54pm

YFlyer wrote: »

Perhaps he was looking into seafood crisps. Dragons Den put a stop to that.

Sonia O'Sullivan helped herself as well.

Not forgetting a Spurs team a few years back before the last game of the season where a win would have secured Champions League football.

YFlyer · 08-10-2019 12:57pm

padd b1975 wrote: »

Not forgetting a Spurs team a few years back before the last game of the season where a win would have secured Champions League football.

Yeah story that they ate some meal that didn't agree with them prior to playing West Ham.

SEPT 23 1989 · 08-10-2019 1:09pm

Dr Strange wrote: »

I must say kudos to all the spouses/partners for putting up with these situations while suffering in silence.

"that's not normal" is usually roared at me by my dry retching wife

Hotblack Desiato · 08-10-2019 2:00pm

Stevieluvsye wrote: »

Finally i get home, mrs answers, looks at me curiously. I just run to the bath to get changed. She starts vomiting, i start gagging, **** everywhere.

She should've let you in the side gate and then blasted you with the garden hose. Like that scene in First Blood, if you have decent water pressure.

dulpit wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2R1QABw5v_w

At least he was wearing very dark shorts - imagine if one of the Irish lads had been so afflicted?

JohnnyFlash · 09-10-2019 8:17am

Hopefully the contributors to this esteemed senate of debate and intellectual enquiry will forgive me for going off on a bit of a tangent, but something has been bothering me for quite some time.

Has anyone noticed a dramatic decrease in the quality of branded underwear? Usually operate a 10 pair rota - new pair of boxers daily with 3 spare pairs for overnights or emergency changes. So washed once a week. The gusset is giving up on them after about 3 months though - holes developing in the crotch and sump area. Using premium washing powder and conditioner and putting them on a 40 degree wash at 1000 revolutions per minute. All within the standard operating manual.

Now we’re not talking Brendan Bendar specials here - 14 pairs of yellowing briefs routed out from the final reductions bin in Guineys. No, I’m talking premium brands - Pringle, Bjorn Borg, Calvin Klein etc.

Is this yet another sign of the death of quality and the late stages of capitalism? Poor quality cotton won’t last long when in daily contact with the naturally acidic qualities of ball grease and sump oil.

Sardonicat · 09-10-2019 8:22am

^^^^^
Spin cycle is far too strong. Reduce to 800. Keep 1000 for hardy garments and towels.

Ush1 · 09-10-2019 8:33am

Can vouch for Saville Row jocks. Bulletproof.

armaghlad · 09-10-2019 8:34am

Johnny I’m having the same issue. We’re talking mainly the stalwart Calvin Klein. Getting 6 months if I’m lucky before small holes being to appear. I originally put it down to my more than generous gentleman’s region but one can only delude one’s self for so long. I have to say though Tommy Hilfiger makes a robust and sturdy boxer short

Hector Savage · 09-10-2019 9:56am

Guess who's stuck in a meeting with a turtle's head poking ....... AGAIN!!!!??

JohnnyFlash · 09-10-2019 10:02am

Hector Savage wrote: »

Guess who's stuck in a meeting with a turtle's head poking ....... AGAIN!!!!??

If you’ve time to use your phone in a meeting then you’ve time to excuse yourself from the room and go for a shïte. Fücking civil servants.

Hotblack Desiato · 09-10-2019 10:29am

Topman trunks are the best out there imho, comfy last well and not expensive.

Hector Savage · 09-10-2019 11:11am

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

If you’ve time to use your phone in a meeting then you’ve time to excuse yourself from the room and go for a shïte. Fücking civil servants.

Now now Johnny you sound a bit angry - are the worn jocks itching your barsal region by any chance ?
Some vaseline should do the trick - apply liberally.
- it's a microsoft teams meeting, so we are at our desks headsets on and could be called to speak at any moment - leaving is difficult, I'm not on my phone boards is open on another tab, not hard to make a quick post.

I'm not a civil servant - I wish I had that kind of job security!

And the meeting ended soon after, I made it into a trap to shotgun blast the pewter with fresh midden!!

Lately I'm not too happy with the state of the traps in here, one of them is "out of order" so we are down to 3 traps for the men.

As a result they are busier and a worse pong than usual.

dulpit · 09-10-2019 12:14pm

Just about to take my 3rd trip to the WC today, stomach isn't right at all today. Least there's the bonus that I'm getting paid for said trips...

09-10-2019 12:57pm

dulpit wrote: »

Just about to take my 3rd trip to the WC today, stomach isn't right at all today. Least there's the bonus that I'm getting paid for said trips...

No time like company time.

Hector Savage · 09-10-2019 1:15pm

dulpit wrote: »

Just about to take my 3rd trip to the WC today, stomach isn't right at all today. Least there's the bonus that I'm getting paid for said trips...

I only dump on company time.

gerrybbadd · 09-10-2019 1:55pm

Hector Savage wrote: »

I only dump on company time.

Weekends must be uncomfortable

Brendan Bendar · 09-10-2019 2:15pm

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Hopefully the contributors to this esteemed senate of debate and intellectual enquiry will forgive me for going off on a bit of a tangent, but something has been bothering me for quite some time.

Has anyone noticed a dramatic decrease in the quality of branded underwear? Usually operate a 10 pair rota - new pair of boxers daily with 3 spare pairs for overnights or emergency changes. So washed once a week. The gusset is giving up on them after about 3 months though - holes developing in the crotch and sump area. Using premium washing powder and conditioner and putting them on a 40 degree wash at 1000 revolutions per minute. All within the standard operating manual.

Now we’re not talking Brendan Bendar specials here - 14 pairs of yellowing briefs routed out from the final reductions bin in Guineys. No, I’m talking premium brands - Pringle, Bjorn Borg, Calvin Klein etc.

Is this yet another sign of the death of quality and the late stages of capitalism? Poor quality cotton won’t last long when in daily contact with the naturally acidic qualities of ball grease and sump oil.

John, very upset about that remark but won’t descend to the gutther to ripost.

What’s wrong with your high end jocks is your crappy diet, fcuking Supermacs burgers five days a week, and processed food the other two, topped up with gulling back liters of cheap beer and shortdated food.

That and poor hygiene

This diet John, produces bag soup and crack drittle which would work its way through Olympic standard yacht sails, in less than a month.

A suggestion would be to get the area fully waxed,change your diet, and take a shower around once a week.

Keep the cluster dry, Caldescene is good and work a soft toothbrush behind the neck of the ‘helmet’.

For info, the Brenner has no undergarment difficulties despite operating in the lower end of the undergarment division, good slather of Savlon keeps the purse nicely ‘free’ and the neck of the unit well moistened.

Think of a arse bleach as well, could be just the thing, John.

partyguinness · 09-10-2019 4:59pm

I have found Ralph Lauren Polo jocks rock solid- TKMaxx all the way. Years of wear and not a sign of any holes. Granted they are no longer the pristine black they once were on leaving Hanoi all those years ago but still good. Still give that flattering "well rounded" bulge. Whereas a few M&S jocks of similar vintage are only fit for cleaning the car.

Bullocks · 09-10-2019 5:53pm

partyguinness wrote: »

I have found Ralph Lauren Polo jocks rock solid- TKMaxx all the way. Years of wear and not a sign of any holes. Granted they are no longer the pristine black they once were on leaving Hanoi all those years ago but still good. Still give that flattering "well rounded" bulge. Whereas a few M&S jocks of similar vintage are only fit for cleaning the car.

I'm using the Tokyo Laundry ones out of TK Max , comfortable but not to clingy and snug so damn all sweating when the pressure comes on.
I don't look for too much longevity in jocks anymore, feck the carbon footprint. I like a new 3 pack fairly often and get rid of the other ones as soon as they show signs of wear or getting bally in the wash

wing52 · 09-10-2019 10:28pm

Lads, keep it close to home with "Vedoneire". Utterly soft,yet with a tenacious hold on the "boys".

No swing,dropout or bounce.

Highly absorbent of the horrors that can lurk around them there bits.

Almost scratchproof, but will put up the battle against the "seam ream"when called upon.

Refuses to build up a fent on the hottest summers day

I'm very impressed by them.

Puts others to torn,stained greasy shame.

What's the etiquette here??

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