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RIP Nikki Grahame

2

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,184 ✭✭✭85603


    Shocked that I actually recognized the name. After all the years, plus I hated that BB shyte.

    Looked at a best of clip of her meltdowns just now, and yeah she was clearly very mal-adjusted to adult life, very histrionic and dramatic. Childish, attention seeking tantrums.

    Something was very wrong whether it was psychiatric/physiology or just her personality/behavior.
    The anorexia must have been related to whatever was going on, horrible illness. She deserved better.


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,378 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    I think poor Nikki wanted to stay a little girl forever. The older she got the less physical resemblance to a child she had, the less tolerance her childish behaviour would find. The uncertainty around Covid and her vulnerability to it must have sent her compulsion to restrict her food intake into overdrive. It's such a tragic life and death.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,539 ✭✭✭Northernlily


    Charlie19 wrote: »
    Her mother said that she wasn't able to go the gym and therefore wouldn't eat.

    Probably a bit more to it than that to be fair. You're pursuing an agenda.


  • Registered Users Posts: 689 ✭✭✭BettyS


    Probably a bit more to it than that to be fair. You're pursuing an agenda.

    Her life was blighted for many years by anorexia. Anecdotally, I know somebody who has anorexia and has improved due to the structure of lockdown and the presence of her parents at meal-times. Anorexia is a strange beast. It can be triggered from something as small as a comment to the effect that you look much better with the extra weight or a dramatic change in circumstances, such as moving or a new job


  • Registered Users Posts: 908 ✭✭✭Jayesdiem


    I want to make an important distinction. Her mental health difficulties were not exasperated by Covid as some have indicated. They were exasperated by the ludicrous, overzealous, hysterical, needless, selfish lockdowns that were imposed due to Covid. And to those who say “couldn’t she just go for a run”? You have no idea how stupid that is.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 8,239 ✭✭✭Pussyhands


    Big Brother was ****ing great back in the day before social media.


  • Registered Users Posts: 689 ✭✭✭BettyS


    Pussyhands wrote: »
    Big Brother was ****ing great back in the day before social media.

    Remember the whole Nasty Nick debacle. It seemed so juicy at the time


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    So sad. I watched her in BB many moons ago, she was a bit of a ditz but harmless and generally a nice person. It’s sad when anorexia gets to that stage, she was far too young to die.


  • Registered Users Posts: 443 ✭✭TP_CM


    I just can't understand anorexia. How can you see yourself as being fat when you're so small in comparison to others? When you feel so weak and are clearly starved, or about to die, can you not see that you need to consume calories? I would love to understand it a bit more because I have a young daughter and it does seem to hit teenage/young women the most. I understand an obsession with being lean, but not starved. It would be an AMA I would definitely read with interest.


  • Registered Users Posts: 715 ✭✭✭Stihl waters


    Jayesdiem wrote: »
    I want to make an important distinction. Her mental health difficulties were not exasperated by Covid as some have indicated. They were exasperated by the ludicrous, overzealous, hysterical, needless, selfish lockdowns that were imposed due to Covid. And to those who say “couldn’t she just go for a run”? You have no idea how stupid that is.

    How can you be sure, if it wasn't covid it might have been something else, anyway RIP a terrible illness and way to die


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  • Registered Users Posts: 9,799 ✭✭✭take everything


    TP_CM wrote: »
    I just can't understand anorexia. How can you see yourself as being fat when you're so small in comparison to others? When you feel so weak and are clearly starved, or about to die, can you not see that you need to consume calories? I would love to understand it a bit more because I have a young daughter and it does seem to hit teenage/young women the most. I understand an obsession with being lean, but not starved. It would be an AMA I would definitely read with interest.

    It's an awful condition.

    When it gets to the stage where health is in danger the thinking/belief about oneself's weight/size, although an overvalued idea is for all intents and purposes a delusion.

    And that's hard to deal with outside of meds.

    She always struck me as a nice person.

    Edit: actually I should edit and say it is basically obsessional/compulsive in nature but at the stage this girl was at It has to have a delusional nature to it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 252 ✭✭Wallet Inspector


    TP_CM wrote: »
    I just can't understand anorexia. How can you see yourself as being fat when you're so small in comparison to others? When you feel so weak and are clearly starved, or about to die, can you not see that you need to consume calories? I would love to understand it a bit more because I have a young daughter and it does seem to hit teenage/young women the most. I understand an obsession with being lean, but not starved. It would be an AMA I would definitely read with interest.
    It's a mental illness and an obsessive compulsive condition. Lack of logic underpins these. Like you and I can see the absurdity of what the patient is thinking in relation to themselves, but they can't. No matter how much it's laid out to them, no matter how much evidence there is against what they're thinking.

    The mind can be a terrifying place when not functioning as normal.


  • Registered Users Posts: 715 ✭✭✭Stihl waters


    Could you equate anorexia with obesity, to the point where a person with obesity knows that their lifestyle will kill them but can't stop, silly question maybe but both can inevitably lead to early death


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 252 ✭✭Wallet Inspector


    Could you equate anorexia with obesity, to the point where a person with obesity knows that their lifestyle will kill them but can't stop, silly question maybe but both can inevitably lead to early death
    Yeah both eating disorders and obsessive. Probably comparable in some ways.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 18,173 CMod ✭✭✭✭The Black Oil


    TP_CM wrote: »
    I just can't understand anorexia. How can you see yourself as being fat when you're so small in comparison to others? When you feel so weak and are clearly starved, or about to die, can you not see that you need to consume calories? I would love to understand it a bit more because I have a young daughter and it does seem to hit teenage/young women the most. I understand an obsession with being lean, but not starved. It would be an AMA I would definitely read with interest.

    It messes with the brain, so no, they can't see.

    https://www.researchgate.net/publication/12038397_Starving_the_brain_Structural_abnormalities_and_cognitive_impairment_in_adolescents_with_anorexia_nervosa


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 128 ✭✭Ckendrick


    Could you equate anorexia with obesity, to the point where a person with obesity knows that their lifestyle will kill them but can't stop, silly question maybe but both can inevitably lead to early death

    There are people who are clinically obese but not through overeating so obesity itself is not an eating disorder, it’s just medical terminology.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 128 ✭✭Ckendrick


    Just watched some clips of her participation in BB.
    I presume that BB engaged a mental health professional to vet the contestants beforehand ?
    If so then that “professional” must have known perfectly well that she was far too unstable and delicate for this caper.
    If they didn’t spot it during the auditions, then it’s hard too explain why she wasn’t rumbled during the filming.
    Makes you wonder if CH4 actually sought out vulnerable people in order to create the necessary “drama” to make the show entertaining.


  • Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    Very sad news. RIP Nikki. X


  • Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    Ckendrick wrote: »
    Just watched some clips of her participation in BB.
    I presume that BB engaged a mental health professional to vet the contestants beforehand ?
    If so then that “professional” must have known perfectly well that she was far too unstable and delicate for this caper.
    If they didn’t spot it during the auditions, then it’s hard too explain why she wasn’t rumbled during the filming.
    Makes you wonder if CH4 actually sought out vulnerable people in order to create the necessary “drama” to make the show entertaining.

    I remember reading somewhere (this may not be true) that she failed the psych evaluation for BB3 but they done away with it by the time she reapplied. Her year was full of people who probably should not have been there


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,131 ✭✭✭KaneToad


    iamwhoiam wrote: »
    Absolutely . Anorexia nervosa is a mental health issue and covid will have huge negative effects on anyone with mental health problems

    Covid won't necessarily have negative effects on anyone with mental health problems. My friend has bipolar disorder and has thrived during Covid.

    You can't always generalise about mental health.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    KaneToad wrote: »
    Covid won't necessarily have negative effects on anyone with mental health problems. My friend has bipolar disorder and has thrived during Covid.

    You can't always generalise about mental health.

    Yes. While anorexia nervosa is a mental illness and Covid can certainly impact upon people who are already struggling, it's not accurate to say all will be impacted. Some people who for example would have had a lot of social anxiety feel some inner freedom within the restrictions.

    Or even just people who say "I no longer have to make up an excuse to not go out". To them I would say "you shouldn't have to feel that way to begin with, do you".


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 128 ✭✭Ckendrick


    I remember reading somewhere (this may not be true) that she failed the psych evaluation for BB3 but they done away with it by the time she reapplied. Her year was full of people who probably should not have been there

    In order to engage the viewing public they needed to gather a crowd of badly damaged souls to provide enough broadcastable antics and meltdowns.
    Like the circus.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,259 ✭✭✭donkeykong5


    RIP nikki. One of the most entertaining participants ever in big brother. At least you are at peace now.


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,691 ✭✭✭✭Charlie19


    Probably a bit more to it than that to be fair. You're pursuing an agenda.

    Not pursuing anything of the sort, just relaying what the woman's mother said about what was a contributing factor in her daughters death.

    I'm not a fan of lockdowns, Is anyone? but I do comply with all the rules that go with it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 23,716 ✭✭✭✭Larbre34


    I can only imagine how hard it was be to her in her own head through this awful affliction. No one deserves that much pain I think.

    Rest in peace kid, no more pain for you.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Mod

    Just a note to say that nobody here can say exactly what caused this relapse for Nikki. There will of course have been multiple factors. Let's try to keep this thread about Nikki, her life, your memories of her etc. rather than trying to overly scrutinize her death. There is a thread here if you would like to have a general discussion about the effects of Covid and restrictions on mental health.


  • Registered Users, Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 7,259 Mod ✭✭✭✭yerwanthere123


    Ckendrick wrote: »
    Just watched some clips of her participation in BB.
    I presume that BB engaged a mental health professional to vet the contestants beforehand ?
    If so then that “professional” must have known perfectly well that she was far too unstable and delicate for this caper.
    If they didn’t spot it during the auditions, then it’s hard too explain why she wasn’t rumbled during the filming.
    Makes you wonder if CH4 actually sought out vulnerable people in order to create the necessary “drama” to make the show entertaining.

    They did have psychiatric evaluations on Big Brother, but as you alluded to I'd say they were a load of shíte. Nikki shouldn't have been on the show, Shahbaz from her year was another one with very obvious mental health issues. Lea Walker, also a member of the 2006 cast, has said there's no way she'd pass a psychological test for the show today. So yeah, the duty of care towards the contestants was slim to nothing.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Porklife


    Celchick wrote: »
    I worked with an anorexic/bulimic woman (thankfully recovered since). God help her it was frightening and heartbreaking. Her shocking thinness, the way she was always saying "oh I'm stuffed - I had loads to eat earlier", the way she was constantly going to the loo to make herself sick.

    Terrifying. A therapist I know who recovered from it herself said it's not even about food - it's about control, perfection, it's kinda related to OCD, and it can also be about not wanting to enter adulthood, or it can result from abuse/trauma.

    My mother used to be a nurse - she retired early because cases like this (including boys too) were just too upsetting for her to handle anymore. And she's a tough woman.

    A nightmare of a disease. Poor Nikki and her family - and all going through the same.

    Oh my god..what a heartbreaking post:(
    Nothing to add but Rip Nikki. Really saddened by this.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 625 ✭✭✭dd973


    Don't really follow Celeb culture but watched BB the first few years it came out, spotted the Go Fund Me to support her recently which came with pictures that warned you about seeing them, clicked on them thinking they can't be that bad, when I did, Jesus! :eek:

    Sad story, 38 is no age, RIP.


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