2020 Bride/Groom

lisasimpson · 06-08-2020 1:30pm

1 thing that has really pissed me off is the 11pm thing and I blame our "influencers" and I dont mean that shower that went to Ibiza. Ive the feeling its what Leo was referring to when he said some restaurants acting like bars.. a few friends have meanted their antics. No consideration for a pandemic. Just take Limerick this weekend and the venue hoping going on with some of them and not a substantial meal to be seen at times. This is not helping the hospitality industry at all and adding to the stresses of ordinary people. Im really worried now the plug will be pulled on all weddings again

ilovesmybrick · 06-08-2020 1:41pm

lisasimpson wrote: »

1 thing that has really pissed me off is the 11pm thing and I blame our "influencers" and I dont mean that shower that went to Ibiza. Ive the feeling its what Leo was referring to when he said some restaurants acting like bars.. a few friends have meanted their antics. No consideration for a pandemic. Just take Limerick this weekend and the venue hoping going on with some of them and not a substantial meal to be seen at times. This is not helping the hospitality industry at all and adding to the stresses of ordinary people. Im really worried now the plug will be pulled on all weddings again

That's our fear as well. I suggested maybe seeing if there was a date available early next year, which isn't likely but for a number of reasons that's only really what would work for us in 2021. Future Mrs. Brick is of the opinion that we don't want to go through the past few months again, and I'm liable to agree. I only really suggested it because I thought she'd like the option. I'd also be afraid of people going ballistic when the pubs open. It will be a minority that do so, but I can easily see a knee kerk reaction to scenes of a few groups of people in parts of Dublin/Cork/Limerick city centres causing a complete u-turn on all bars, venues and restaurants.

lisasimpson · 06-08-2020 1:45pm

I really wish a few proper journalist would highlight it and show them up for what they are... a pack of freeloaders with no ****s given to anyone else

[Deleted User] · 06-08-2020 2:15pm

Hi Everyone, a Spring 2021 bride here. We were originally going for 2020, but because we were building our house in 2019, we decided to push our wedding out another year.
I really feel for all the couples that are stuck in limbo, it takes away the excitement of what is meant to be such a happy day.
I've a family wedding in October, and they had been so hopeful up until this recent update.

I hope no one minds if I ask this here.. Are there are any brides or grooms that are in the at risk/vulnerable category?
I would be curious to know what advice people would have for a bride or groom that is immuno compromised. I, myself, am in the at risk/vulnerable category.

nikpmup · 06-08-2020 3:13pm

woodchuck wrote: »

Wow... April 2021? We're May 2021 Do you have a lot of guests overseas and/or in vulnerable groups?

I was thinking of an anonymous survey too when we were still on the fence about our original date in Sept 2020. It would be horrible to decide to go ahead, start getting excited again, send out invites etc only to have an even bigger dropout than you expected.

We've both - a lot of family members abroad, and a good handful who are immunocompromised. The survey was really helpful actually, we sent it to about 2/3 of our guests and asked them to be honest as it was anonymous. It was very clear that a good chunk of our guests just wouldn't be happy going in April, and that's assuming there's a lifting of restrictions. If the restrictions remain in place I'd say a good few more would decide not to go.

eviltwin · 06-08-2020 3:24pm

Eskie wrote: »

Hi Everyone, a Spring 2021 bride here. We were originally going for 2020, but because we were building our house in 2019, we decided to push our wedding out another year.
I really feel for all the couples that are stuck in limbo, it takes away the excitement of what is meant to be such a happy day.
I've a family wedding in October, and they had been so hopeful up until this recent update.

I hope no one minds if I ask this here.. Are there are any brides or grooms that are in the at risk/vulnerable category?
I would be curious to know what advice people would have for a bride or groom that is immuno compromised. I, myself, am in the at risk/vulnerable category.

That’s what prompted the question I asked. My husband has asthma and we have a wedding we were due to attend in March that’s been rebooked twice now. The groom is also vulnerable. My husband was saying, if it was us, we’d just get the legal bit done and forego the party because imagine if anything were to happen and you’re not next of kin. Now more than ever I think it’s important to get yourself protected for any eventuality.

alicantra123 · 06-08-2020 4:12pm

ilovesmybrick wrote: »

Well Martin was asked about weddings at the press conference yesterday and completely sidestepped it. I'm not overly bothered by the money that we'll lose on deposits, which is around 4 grand, I'm more annoyed at the lack of clarity. I would still be reasonably confident that by October the numbers will be raised. However, we have 60% of the venue costs due in a few weeks, and I can't fire out another 4-5,000 on a hope that the government will come up with some firm plans.

I'm really not looking forward to the conversation with our venue. They've been so nice and helpful and are a small hotel. I feel really guilty about doing this to them, but we are simply out of options and out of time.

I really think you have a very strong case to renegotiate paying any more towards a deposit at this point until it's clear what your venue can provide. Although it's absolutely not their fault they can't tell you what will happen, you equally can't reasonably be expected to keep to a strict deposit timeline like that when it's still so vague what can be provided for you on the day. I think at this point the venue would be happy just to keep you interested int he date so I would think if they were being wise they would not expect or demand you to pay any more deposits at this point until much closer to the date.

I am in a similar situation myself having postponed from April to October and negotiated no more payments and a more flexible cancellation rate with my venue by making this case.

Separate to all this it's nice to read what people in a similar boat are thinking! I also was feeling positive up until I found out my venue would be imposing a 10.30pm finish up time. For me that is just trying to shoehorn a wedding into what sounds like a 95th birthday party in an old folks home. Absolute deal breaker for me. I'm going to wait til the next announcement but am leaning towards cancelling my hotel venue because I just don't think there will be the right atmosphere anytime soon. Going to start looking for small restaurant venue as an alternative. I don't want to postpone again for all the same reasons people have outlined above.

I;ll end up losing some money int he end but for me nothing would be worse than an awful wedding I don't want so I just have to suck it up. I'll be putting up a fight to get most of my money back though!

ilovesmybrick · 06-08-2020 4:23pm

alicantra123 wrote: »

I really think you have a very strong case to renegotiate paying any more towards a deposit at this point until it's clear what your venue can provide. Although it's absolutely not their fault they can't tell you what will happen, you equally can't reasonably be expected to keep to a strict deposit timeline like that when it's still so vague what can be provided for you on the day. I think at this point the venue would be happy just to keep you interested int he date so I would think if they were being wise they would not expect or demand you to pay any more deposits at this point until much closer to the date.

I am in a similar situation myself having postponed from April to October and negotiated no more payments and a more flexible cancellation rate with my venue by making this case.

Separate to all this it's nice to read what people in a similar boat are thinking! I also was feeling positive up until I found out my venue would be imposing a 10.30pm finish up time. For me that is just trying to shoehorn a wedding into what sounds like a 95th birthday party in an old folks home. Absolute deal breaker for me. I'm going to wait til the next announcement but am leaning towards cancelling my hotel venue because I just don't think there will be the right atmosphere anytime soon. Going to start looking for small restaurant venue as an alternative. I don't want to postpone again for all the same reasons people have outlined above.

I;ll end up losing some money int he end but for me nothing would be worse than an awful wedding I don't want so I just have to suck it up. I'll be putting up a fight to get most of my money back though!

Oh no, our venue have been great. The deposit number I gave was for everything (photographers, bands etc.) The venue took the initial booking deposit and pushed the 50% chunk from two months before to three weeks before. They also told us we would only be charged for the numbers that guidelines would allow. At this stage though our problem is twofold: We don't want to send out invites this week just to tell people in three weeks you can't come, and second we live on the continent.

The initial loss of the hotel deposit is fine, and we haven't paid the follow up deposits. I'll happily (well not really) take the loss on the hotel deposit because at this stage we just can't go ahead with our date. I might see if the photographer will be a bit flexible and maybe do something for us later down the line, but the rest is gone. I'm in the position that I can eat the loss somewhat but, aside from the hotel, all our deposits have been to small sole traders who have been absolutely destroyed by all of this. I might try and squeeze something out of the hotel, but with the rest I don't think I could do so without feeling incredibly guilty.

qwerty13 · 07-08-2020 2:54am

nikpmup wrote: »

We've both - a lot of family members abroad, and a good handful who are immunocompromised. The survey was really helpful actually, we sent it to about 2/3 of our guests and asked them to be honest as it was anonymous. It was very clear that a good chunk of our guests just wouldn't be happy going in April, and that's assuming there's a lifting of restrictions. If the restrictions remain in place I'd say a good few more would decide not to go.

The survey was a brilliant idea - I can imagine that lots of people would accept a deferred invite, but would - understandably - still be a bit uncomfortable, or very much have a wait-and-see attitude. An anonymous survey was an excellent idea.

I wouldn't go to a wedding unless things improved on what they are now, ie that I’d seen other things with many people operating, without a spike in diagnosed cases. Others might feel differently, buts that’s how I’d feel - hence the survey was such a good idea

Daniel! · 07-08-2020 11:13am

Got married on on Saturday.

Not really a poster and we've been keeping an eye on this forum for the last six months. I wanted to spread a bit of optimism and positivity that if you want to get married on your date then it is possible.

Originally had 320 people on our list for a local hotel. 8 weeks ago we decided to ditch the hotel and cut the numbers down and start organising a wedding at home. We live on a farm with an incredible view so we booked a marquee, wedding coordinator and a local caterer. We had a small crowd of family and close friends and spread the wedding over two nights. We were blessed with good weather which was probably our biggest worry. The weekend worked out absolutely incredible.

The wedding cost just as much as if we had invited 300 people to a hotel but we don't care. The stress and work load is about 50 times more then a hotel wedding and this isn't for everyone. But if you are someone that can work as a team with your future other then do it.

We had complete control over the event and are thankful we went ahead with it. If you want to get married then there is no reason why you can't.

Currently on honeymoon in the cliff house hotel, heading for castlemartyr after this then finishing in the Hayfield Manor.

Wishing ye all the best and thanks for all the advice over the last few months.

Dan,

ilovesmybrick · 07-08-2020 11:17am

So, did the cancellation with the hotel yesterday evening. They contacted us first with details of what the current restrictions mean, and they're onerous to say the least.

And I have to say, they were exceptional. They responded by asking for an account to refund our entire deposit to with their best wishes. It's really sad since there are very few venues that have that level of support, and completely unexpected. I didn't expect that at all. It's a small consolation, but a meaningful one.

I don't know what the policy is on naming venues, but if anyone is ever looking for somewhere in the clare/tipperary/limerick area I'll pm you with the strongest recommendation I can give.

Neyite · 07-08-2020 12:15pm

There's plenty of us that are lining up consolation weekends away to places when restrictions ease a bit, so I'd very much prefer to give the business to a venue that's gone above and beyond for couples this year - a bit of solidarity or something. And I'd make sure to mention it on arrival too.

I'll pm the mods to see if it's allowed to post on thread and if not we can go to pm.

nikpmup · 07-08-2020 12:22pm

Neyite wrote: »

There's plenty of us that are lining up consolation weekends away to places when restrictions ease a bit, so I'd very much prefer to give the business to a venue that's gone above and beyond for couples this year - a bit of solidarity or something. And I'd make sure to mention it on arrival too.

I'll pm the mods to see if it's allowed to post on thread and if not we can go to pm.

A consolation weekend sounds like a great idea!

Neyite · 07-08-2020 12:23pm

I've just messaged the mods - they may need to check with HQ as to the pitfalls of naming etc but I've asked anyway.

cazzer22 · 07-08-2020 1:06pm

Daniel! wrote: »

Got married on on Saturday.

Not really a poster and we've been keeping an eye on this forum for the last six months. I wanted to spread a bit of optimism and positivity that if you want to get married on your date then it is possible.

Originally had 320 people on our list for a local hotel. 8 weeks ago we decided to ditch the hotel and cut the numbers down and start organising a wedding at home. We live on a farm with an incredible view so we booked a marquee, wedding coordinator and a local caterer. We had a small crowd of family and close friends and spread the wedding over two nights. We were blessed with good weather which was probably our biggest worry. The weekend worked out absolutely incredible.

The wedding cost just as much as if we had invited 300 people to a hotel but we don't care. The stress and work load is about 50 times more then a hotel wedding and this isn't for everyone. But if you are someone that can work as a team with your future other then do it.

We had complete control over the event and are thankful we went ahead with it. If you want to get married then there is no reason why you can't.

Currently on honeymoon in the cliff house hotel, heading for castlemartyr after this then finishing in the Hayfield Manor.

Wishing ye all the best and thanks for all the advice over the last few months.

Dan,

Hope you had a great day, Daniel. Heard it was amazing. Congratulations to you and A. A lovely positive post for us all here too.
Caz.

ilovesmybrick · 07-08-2020 1:10pm

Neyite wrote: »

I've just messaged the mods - they may need to check with HQ as to the pitfalls of naming etc but I've asked anyway.

Thanks. Whatever they come back with, this particular hotel did their utmost to make an incredibly difficult morning as easy as possible. We knew that they would make getting married as stress free as possible, but I never expected the kind of support they gave us in cancelling. It was exceptional.

[Deleted User] · 07-08-2020 2:48pm

Daniel! wrote: »

Got married on on Saturday.

Originally had 320 people on our list for a local hotel.

Well done and the honeymoon locations sound great.

But about the 320 people. That's a huge amount.

Now thats it done, do you feel that there was no need to invite that many?

Were you inviting them to make money back to cover some costs or what was the reason?

Was it a split 50/50 from each side?

Honesty appreciated here. Trying to decide myself with numbers.

Shelli2 · 07-08-2020 3:29pm

We had our day on 24th July.
Small marquee in the inlaws garden. It was wonderful.
We had 20 at the ceremony and 37 for the after party.
We had originally planned for 130 in a hotel in May, and had a date in October after that was cancelled. I was stressed out of my mind, had just lost my father on 1st March and then discovered I was pregnant too!
I have to say, cancelling the big wedding was the best thing we ever did. We hope to have a bigger party in the future, but I adored our wedding and wouldn't have changed a thing (other than doing it sooner so Dad would have been there) .

Ceremony was civil ceremony, was due to be in Carlow Registry Office, but the HSE hired a room in a local hotel for all the ceremonies, it was stunning and cost us nothing.

The marquee package was just over €1k, and we hired a gourmet BBQ catering company which was booked for 40 guests and worked out just under 600e.
We stocked the bar and guests also brought their own.
I gathered decorations and my wonder in-laws set it all up the day before.

Only one regret, I didn't hire any photographer, a relative (hobby photography only) offered, but I don't really have any framable pics.

Happy to share suppliers info if anyone is interested just PM, I couldn't recommend them enough.

[Deleted User] · 07-08-2020 4:13pm

Congratulations @Daniel!
Congratulations @Shelli2
It's really lovely to hear your positive stories

@eviltwin we have talked about just doing the legal bit with two witnesses, and we're open to it. With me being immuno compromised, it would make sense to go with the low risk choice. We'll see what happens!

Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine today

Pen Rua · 07-08-2020 4:19pm

I just took a call from our hotel (we are due for October 2020), who told us the 11pm cut off will apply to the wedding party as well. They said the local Garda sergeant came in to make a point of it, and indicating they would like staff & guests cleared off by midnight.

I am not surprised, but I am equally not disappointed. If anything, I am relieved! I am never a person for a late night, so now I don't have the pressure of having to stay up till the early hours to entertain guests.

Sonrisa · 07-08-2020 4:23pm

Daniel! wrote: »

Got married on on Saturday.

Not really a poster and we've been keeping an eye on this forum for the last six months. I wanted to spread a bit of optimism and positivity that if you want to get married on your date then it is possible.

Originally had 320 people on our list for a local hotel. 8 weeks ago we decided to ditch the hotel and cut the numbers down and start organising a wedding at home. We live on a farm with an incredible view so we booked a marquee, wedding coordinator and a local caterer. We had a small crowd of family and close friends and spread the wedding over two nights. We were blessed with good weather which was probably our biggest worry. The weekend worked out absolutely incredible.

The wedding cost just as much as if we had invited 300 people to a hotel but we don't care. The stress and work load is about 50 times more then a hotel wedding and this isn't for everyone. But if you are someone that can work as a team with your future other then do it.

We had complete control over the event and are thankful we went ahead with it. If you want to get married then there is no reason why you can't.

Currently on honeymoon in the cliff house hotel, heading for castlemartyr after this then finishing in the Hayfield Manor.

Wishing ye all the best and thanks for all the advice over the last few months.

Dan,

Congrats looks amazing! Did Ali's kitchen cater by any chance? Saw some stunning photos on their instagram.

woodchuck · 07-08-2020 5:00pm

It's lovely to hear stories from weddings that have actually gone ahead this year

woodchuck · 07-08-2020 5:52pm

Just reading the latest headlines:
https://www.rte.ie/news/coronavirus/2020/0807/1157800-coronavirus-ireland/

New restrictions for counties Kildare, Laois and Offaly

So I guess any couples who were planning to get married in those counties within the next couple of weeks are snookered

Just goes to show, you really don't know what they're going to throw at you and when. I'm only surprised Dublin isn't the first to go into localised lockdown tbh!

Neyite · 07-08-2020 6:01pm

woodchuck wrote: »

Just reading the latest headlines:
https://www.rte.ie/news/coronavirus/2020/0807/1157800-coronavirus-ireland/

New restrictions for counties Kildare, Laois and Offaly

So I guess any couples who were planning to get married in those counties within the next couple of weeks are snookered Just goes to show, you really don't know what they're going to throw at you and when. I'm only surprised Dublin isn't the first to go into localised lockdown tbh!

It's such a gamble to plan anything other than the barest ceremony with just two witnesses at this stage. I really feel for any couple who are affected by this latest news.

Daniel! · 07-08-2020 7:22pm

FillaName wrote: »

Well done and the honeymoon locations sound great.

But about the 320 people. That's a huge amount.

Now thats it done, do you feel that there was no need to invite that many?

Were you inviting them to make money back to cover some costs or what was the reason?

Was it a split 50/50 from each side?

Honesty appreciated here. Trying to decide myself with numbers.

We come from two family businesses so getting it down to nearly 300 was difficult. My new mother is law is 1 of 9. I'm one of five and both my parents had big families.

Money never was any part of it and didn't bother us if we recovered costs just wanted to do things right. We were lucky that we had been saving for the last few years for it.

Would love to have included everyone but we were dead happy after the fact because it was just our family and very close friends.

There's no need for the the big wedding. The small one you are nearly gaurenteed a good day and couldn't recommend it enough.

You won't cover costs is the only issue and there's this odd idea that a marquee wedding is cheaper and we are saving money by doing it. Not sure how many times I'd been quoted that fact.

Our invites were immediate family, Aunts, uncles and a few close friends. Not everyone accepted and a good few only came to the church. No evening invites.

People understand that they can't be invited. We just sent out a text to everyone on the original list stating what was happening and why. Everyone was delighted for us thta we were going ahead.

Hope that answers what you were looking for.

Daniel! · 07-08-2020 7:28pm

Sonrisa wrote: »

Congrats looks amazing! Did Ali's kitchen cater by any chance? Saw some stunning photos on their instagram.

It was `thyme2eat catering' based in West Cork. They just started their business in March and we were delighted to support them. Couldn't recommend them enough. They left some resturants for shame to see what dishes they were putting out fresh in what can only be described as a field.

Edit
For context we had a 3 course sit down meal with two options for each course. Plus sorbet, teas and coffees. They also did late food fish and chips and organised the reception food.

Neyite · 07-08-2020 11:40pm

Faith has said it's grand to name and praise vendors that have gone above and beyond for you.

So yes, I'd like the name of that hotel please.

blacklilly · 08-08-2020 12:04am

Neyite wrote: »

It's such a gamble to plan anything other than the barest ceremony with just two witnesses at this stage. I really feel for any couple who are affected by this latest news.

So we are one of the couple effected in so far as we are due to get married end of the month with reception in Kildare. At this point we have just decided to keep going in the blind hope it will happen for us.

For the first time during all this uncertainty I cried tonight (really cried). The biggest frustration is having sooooo much money tied somewhere and not being able to book another venue. We are majorly clutching at straws at this stage.
We have crossed so many obstacles that it would be a waste if we gave up at this point, I mean what have we got to loose only our sanity

ilovesmybrick · 08-08-2020 10:41am

Neyite wrote: »

Faith has said it's grand to name and praise vendors that have gone above and beyond for you.

So yes, I'd like the name of that hotel please.

The Lakeside in Killaloe. I can't give them high enough praise for how nice and helpful they were yesterday.

Galwayguy35 · 09-08-2020 8:27pm

ilovesmybrick wrote: »

The Lakeside in Killaloe. I can't give them high enough praise for how nice and helpful they were yesterday.

Attended 2 weddings there a few years ago, lovely staff and location.

2020 Bride/Groom

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