Requesting guest specific gift.

Tarzana2 · 07-01-2015 8:25pm

Lau2976 wrote: »

I decided to give the benefit if the doubt and thought maybe they had forgotten about the portrait but just received a text from the groom asking if I can confirm the date for the sitting as they need to arrange a sitter. And a nice little side note asking if I needed to swap what gift I was getting them as they have other people asking to get them different things

I think I might buy the mixer, paint it and then keep it for myself!

They have also asked the guy who's making the cake to add on 90 cupcakes. And then sent him the measurements for the bike!

Just :eek:!

Lau2976 · 07-01-2015 8:26pm

I probably won't TBH. I have a few more weeks before I have to RSVP so I'll have a think but the cost is massive. Not only is it the gift an the painting but it requires me staying in a hotel if I decide to go to the reception as it's across the country.

07-01-2015 8:27pm

Lau2976 wrote: »

I decided to give the benefit if the doubt and thought maybe they had forgotten about the portrait but just received a text from the groom asking if I can confirm the date for the sitting as they need to arrange a sitter. And a nice little side note asking if I needed to swap what gift I was getting them as they have other people asking to get them different things

I think I might buy the mixer, paint it and then keep it for myself!

They have also asked the guy who's making the cake to add on 90 cupcakes. And then sent him the measurements for the bike!

Ah, here! This topic has to be a pi**take.

Tarzana2 · 07-01-2015 8:27pm

LizT wrote: »

I can't get over how anyone would think it's acceptable to put that on an invitation.

And follow up aggressively not long afterwards! :eek:

Well, the OP said that they are likely to receive some declines over this, and I'd expect more than a few declines if I was them. How can people be so shortsighted? They think they'll make or save money this way but they likely end up costing themselves more money through their moneygrubbing ways.

allym · 07-01-2015 8:29pm

Nope. Just nope.

If that was me they would be getting nothing.

Like, my god! How can people be so delusional?

07-01-2015 8:29pm

If it's for real, then OP, treat them with the same contempt they are treating you and decline invitation and develop severe allergy to arts stuff and forget you ever knew them!

Milly33 · 07-01-2015 8:31pm

Oh it gets better haha..Jes and are these really friends of yours or just lets say someone you know through someone!! I think I would break my arse laughing if someone suggested we do something like this.. And like you say the cost you already have to buy going and staying over.. Defo do not give them a mixer or a painting.. You could send them on a treasure hunt across the country saying you hid the mixer someplace where you knew they would love and just have it off the cliffs of moher or something

clint_silver · 07-01-2015 10:23pm

Remember marge painted mister burns. And really captured his essence.

Oryx · 07-01-2015 10:28pm

I dont think you should give them anything. Their greed is just stunning. Clearly they dont value your painting, or the baker's work, cos oh, thats just something you do! Never mind the skill, time, and cost of materials!

Toots · 07-01-2015 11:14pm

Neyite wrote: »

No, the same one. I call it dinnergate to differentiate it from the usual bridsmaidsgates that happen.

*wonders if the mod is open to bribes to reinstate that thread...*

Not for all the tea in China!!! :eek:

Oryx wrote: »

I dont think you should give them anything. Their greed is just stunning. Clearly they dont value your painting, or the baker's work, cos oh, thats just something you do! Never mind the skill, time, and cost of materials!

I reckon this is exactly it. I knit and crochet and someone recently wanted me to make them a fancy cardigan type thing. They offered to pay me €200 and got really snotty when I said I couldn't do it. I told them that would just about cover the materials, and in addition it would take me weeks to finish it. Their response was "but sure why would you charge for something that you just do when you're sitting in front of the TV?". They were lucky the conversation happened by phone, cos if it had been face to face they'd have ended up having to have a crochet hook removed from somewhere unpleasant!

rainbowtrout · 07-01-2015 11:45pm

clint_silver wrote: »

Remember marge painted mister burns. And really captured his essence.

Are you saying the OP should paint the couple naked sitting atop a mountain bike, a food mixer or a stack of argos catalogues???

Lau2976 · 07-01-2015 11:52pm

rainbowtrout wrote: »

Are you saying the OP should paint the couple naked sitting atop a mountain bike, a food mixer or a stack of argos catalogues???

Maybe all three?

Milly33 · 07-01-2015 11:53pm

Toots wrote: »

Not for all the tea in China!!! :eek:

I reckon this is exactly it. I knit and crochet and someone recently wanted me to make them a fancy cardigan type thing. They offered to pay me €200 and got really snotty when I said I couldn't do it. I told them that would just about cover the materials, and in addition it would take me weeks to finish it. Their response was "but sure why would you charge for something that you just do when you're sitting in front of the TV?". They were lucky the conversation happened by phone, cos if it had been face to face they'd have ended up having to have a crochet hook removed from somewhere unpleasant!

Sure you know they were just speaking the truth, sure they could easily do it..Not the cheek of them

coffee_cake · 08-01-2015 12:00am

Picture of the mixer or bill them for the painting (and your friend bill them for the cakes) is the only way to go

bjork · 08-01-2015 12:08am

Lau2976 wrote: »

I decided to give the benefit if the doubt and thought maybe they had forgotten about the portrait but just received a text from the groom asking if I can confirm the date for the sitting as they need to arrange a sitter. And a nice little side note asking if I needed to swap what gift I was getting them as they have other people asking to get them different things

I think I might buy the mixer, paint it and then keep it for myself!

They have also asked the guy who's making the cake to add on 90 cupcakes. And then sent him the measurements for the bike!

Get them around to sit for an hour or 2 anyway, in silence posing while you paint the picture of the mixer

Tails142 · 08-01-2015 12:56am

eh.... these are your friends why? =P

sillymoo · 08-01-2015 2:22am

Lau2976 wrote: »

I probably won't TBH. I have a few more weeks before I have to RSVP so I'll have a think but the cost is massive. Not only is it the gift an the painting but it requires me staying in a hotel if I decide to go to the reception as it's across the country.

If it's near my house I'll put you up. I'll even drop you to and from the wedding.

Only on the condition that you keep us all informed on this thread!

Whosthis · 08-01-2015 2:49am

For the benefit of the boards community I think its paramount that you attend this wedding. Set up a crowd funding page.

biketard · 08-01-2015 3:08am

As well as you painting the mixer, you should get cake guy to do a cake of a kid's bicycle.

08-01-2015 4:28am

Lau2976 wrote: »

I probably won't TBH. I have a few more weeks before I have to RSVP so I'll have a think but the cost is massive. Not only is it the gift an the painting but it requires me staying in a hotel if I decide to go to the reception as it's across the country.

I would in my hole!

The money it's costing?! I'd just send them a text saying "sorry, I won't be around I've another event on", and I'd be on Ryanair's site looking to spend my money on a cheap and cheerful few days away.

Have a word with the other chap doing the cake, and any other friends you know that are going, and have a little group holiday away, instead. You'd have a great 3-4 days away with €1,000 (and it's looking like that's at least what it's gonna cost you to attend this Wedding).

Mathrew · 08-01-2015 4:48am

clint_silver wrote: »

Different strokes for different folks here. I personally am way happier when I get an invite with a "we'd prefer gifts of x" with an invite. People know you're going to give a gift of some sort. It's just perfect logic to me to make sure the gift is something you actually need.
Head over to adverts under the wedding section for pages and pages of presents for sale that aren't needed.
Instead of it being crass on the invite Id see it as saving people money getting the wrong thing. Each to their own though.

Me too, I'd prefer it, it would be a lot easier for me, instead of thinking what to buy.
But it's very unusual, very few would be like that.

wuffly · 08-01-2015 7:58am

Surely this is some sort of social experiment to see how far you can push your wedding guests before they tell you to feck off?? Are you being secretly filmed?! I don't doubt you OP but they sound like complete a**sholes. The level of entitlement is off the charts!

Gatica · 08-01-2015 10:45am

Quote them for your planned work, whatever it is... 600 Euro? 700?
Ask them will they be paying cash before the wedding.
If they're cool to do that, then maybe take their cash, do their painting (job done). Decline the invitation.

I don't know what ties you have to these people, but if there's nothing tying you to them, I'd be cutting them ties...
Tbh though, would be best to tell them exactly what you think about requests for gifts and that you've no interest in attending their wedding or staying in touch.

NewYork1979 · 08-01-2015 11:12am

To be honest I'm getting a bit annoyed with the OP. I just don't see why you'd even contemplate going to this wedding and why you'd even be friends with them.

Feed Up · 08-01-2015 11:17am

I have never come across a 'specific gift' but I think a gift list is a great idea.

For me anyway it takes all the hassle out and you also know that they want the thing.

lazygal · 08-01-2015 12:10pm

Jaysus, I thought I'd heard it all with wedding related shenanegans!

loyatemu · 08-01-2015 1:05pm

assuming this isn't a windup, surely someone from their family or close friends would tell them that this is not the done thing in Ireland (or anywhere else I'd suspect). They sound deluded, living in a self-absorbed wedding bubble, someone needs to snap them out of it.

OP - how well do you know these people, is it in keeping with their character generally?

Oryx · 08-01-2015 1:17pm

The icing on the (wedding) cake really is the bike for the kid. This is something the happy, greedy, avaricious, scheming couple should be buying themselves for the child if they feel it's required. To ask a guest to provide it is just the most presumptuous and self centred thing I have ever heard. If these people go any further up themselves theyll turn inside out.

Sligo1 · 08-01-2015 2:07pm

Lau2976 wrote: »

I decided to give the benefit if the doubt and thought maybe they had forgotten about the portrait but just received a text from the groom asking if I can confirm the date for the sitting as they need to arrange a sitter. And a nice little side note asking if I needed to swap what gift I was getting them as they have other people asking to get them different things

I think I might buy the mixer, paint it and then keep it for myself!

They have also asked the guy who's making the cake to add on 90 cupcakes. And then sent him the measurements for the bike!

OP seriously.... This has HAS to be a windup???

Sligo1 · 08-01-2015 2:11pm

Neyite wrote: »

No, the same one. I call it dinnergate to differentiate it from the usual bridsmaidsgates that happen.

*wonders if the mod is open to bribes to reinstate that thread...*

I thought at the very end after bridesmaid gate thread was closed Toots did actually post an update from the OP? I remember reading it and it posted about what actually then went down on the day. I'm sure I read what happened in the end. Perhaps the thread has since been deleted.... Maybe I dreamt it??!

Requesting guest specific gift.

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