Do you think Irish people mature too late in life?

king_of_mayo · 09-07-2020 2:24pm #1

I remember in leaving cert, a teacher was telling a couple of the lads who were planning to the go the US, that the yanks would eat them alive. He said we were 17 but really 14, whereas they were 17 and 25. I thought it was just me but a few later I ran into one of them and he confirmed.

I didn't see it myself until I started real work. We were working on a project with a team in San Francisco. Long haul, my first one but we made it before the deadline. I and the lads were happy enough until we came in the next morning and saw email. The yanks had emailed everyone a video of them spraying champagne on each other, like in F1. All the big wigs were loving it and the email chain went on but Paddy was left out. They effectively got all the glory and we never saw it coming.

I swore that would never happen again but it came late in my mid 20s.

Why do you think Irish people don't mature til later? We don't seem to have heads set for the real work place and how to handle the politics of it all, whereas other countries leave us behind. I think you notice it in Irish people who lived abroad in corporate life coming back, they have a zeal. How can our education system improve this?

Hamsterchops · 09-07-2020 2:44pm

king_of_mayo wrote: »

Do you think Irish people mature too late in life?

Talking from personal experience I know what you mean, so my answer is possibly, maybe?

Interesting point to debate....

Tabnabs · 09-07-2020 2:49pm

I've spent a fair amount of time travelling and working abroad. I've found the opposite in many cases, young Irish could be hard working and trustworthy of responsibility. English, but especially German lads too were very immature in my experience.

Ficheall · 09-07-2020 2:49pm

I'm confused.. spraying champagne all over each other was a sign of their maturity?

Ultrflat · 09-07-2020 2:53pm

I think maturing comes from doing stupid things even at the age of 38 I'm still maturing.

All that fandango · 09-07-2020 3:00pm

I've noticed this too, we must be the last crowd out of plenty of nationalities to get married, have kids and settle down. Many are at this stage already by the time they are mid to late 20s.

king_of_mayo · 09-07-2020 3:01pm

Ficheall wrote: »

I'm confused.. spraying champagne all over each other was a sign of their maturity?

They knew how to play the game and get the glory.

begbysback · 09-07-2020 3:03pm

Yes, no, maybe - can you repeat the question

facehugger99 · 09-07-2020 3:05pm

Make a video of you and your team pouring pints of Guinness over each other - that'll show them.

[Deleted User] · 09-07-2020 3:07pm

A lot of people don't mature at all these days..

There are actually men in their 50s making tiktok videos..

We are in the age of the eternal teenager..

SEPT 23 1989 · 09-07-2020 3:07pm

Ficheall wrote: »

I'm confused.. spraying champagne all over each other was a sign of their maturity?

it seems to be part of this "corporate life"

freshpopcorn · 09-07-2020 3:09pm

Irish people never mature until the get rid of there doorbell!

[Deleted User] · 09-07-2020 3:09pm

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Irish people never mature until the get rid of there doorbell!

*Their*

king_of_mayo · 09-07-2020 3:13pm

facehugger99 wrote: »

Make a video of you and your team pouring pints of Guinness over each other - that'll show them.

I knew a lad who worked in the City of London, as a starting out dev. He told me that one of the best things he ever did was show up on March 17th with a big stupid Paddy green hat on and brought in some Irish-y cakes and stuff for everyone to have in the kitchen. He smiled and went through it, and is now on a very nice contractor rate as he's well known as the mad Irish lad.

Who do you think is getting a call up, him or Johnny-keep-the-head-down?

The Raging Bile Duct · 09-07-2020 3:14pm

Reading this thread is making me feel like I have a concussion. It makes no sense. What the fúck does spraying champagne all over yourself have to do with maturity?

Doorbells? Seriously, lads... what in the actual fúck is that about?!?!

hellsing101 · 09-07-2020 3:16pm

CQD wrote: »

A lot of people don't mature at all these days..

There are actually men in their 50s making tiktok videos..

We are in the age of the eternal teenager..

I always found that weird, friend of mine was showing what his kids watch on TikTok and was a lot of old dudes doing duets with wee girls, bit dodgy imo.

freshpopcorn · 09-07-2020 3:16pm

CQD wrote: »

*Their*

GMSA · 09-07-2020 4:20pm

All that fandango wrote: »

I've noticed this too, we must be the last crowd out of plenty of nationalities to get married, have kids and settle down. Many are at this stage already by the time they are mid to late 20s.

Getting married having kids and settling down is being mature?
:rolleyes:

kowloon · 09-07-2020 4:45pm

king_of_mayo wrote: »

They knew how to play the game and get the glory.

They knew how to be arseholes. We need less of that in the world, not more.

pgj2015 · 09-07-2020 4:59pm

king_of_mayo wrote: »

I knew a lad who worked in the City of London, as a starting out dev. He told me that one of the best things he ever did was show up on March 17th with a big stupid Paddy green hat on and brought in some Irish-y cakes and stuff for everyone to have in the kitchen. He smiled and went through it, and is now on a very nice contractor rate as he's well known as the mad Irish lad.

Who do you think is getting a call up, him or Johnny-keep-the-head-down?

That guy would want to calm down a bit, Irish hats, Irish cakes, hes sound mental. id say they will never see anything as mad as that again. :pac:

chosen1 · 09-07-2020 4:59pm

All that fandango wrote: »

I've noticed this too, we must be the last crowd out of plenty of nationalities to get married, have kids and settle down. Many are at this stage already by the time they are mid to late 20s.

Many nationalities are on their first or second divorce by the age of the Irish average marriage age.

Our divorce rate is a fraction of most other countries and marying late may have some input in this.

Luckycharm · 09-07-2020 5:06pm

chosen1 wrote: »

Many nationalities are on their first or second divorce by the age of the Irish average marriage age.

Our divorce rate is a fraction of most other countries and marying late may have some input in this.

It is also alot harder to get divorced here, so people don't tend to rush into marriage here.

Potential-Monke · 09-07-2020 9:58pm

I too cannot follow the initial post, but I do like this idea of 'maturity'. It's not something one can just do, nor should there be expectations of what maturing is. I actually feel sorry for those who look on at others and think they're immature, because they're enjoying themselves at an age where the person mentioning it is probably jealous of the fun they're having, while they have 'matured' and are shit craic.

Looking back at my own life (and the right old age of 37 now), I would have been considered matured in my 20's. Good (perceived) job, mortgage, long relationship, possibility of having kids (if I wanted them). But I was miserable (took me a while to figure it out). Have since left the good (perceived) job, sold the house and took the negative equity, broke up with the girlfriend (she wanted kids, so best thing to do for her). Moved home.

Now, looking at my life from the outside, a single man in his late 30's living with his 2 70+ year old parents in their house, spends most time gaming, smoking weed if it can be got, playing D&D with mates pre-covid, watching anime and films and tv series not based on reality, one would say I could be immature. And so be it. I'm happier now than I was for most of my 20's. And if you consider it immature, then I genuinely think you're just feeling jealousy because I'm doing what I want to do and not conforming to the (to me) soul destroying life of marriage, kids, mortgage and all the boring stuff that comes with that.

If I win the lotto, I'm touring the world, not to see the sights, but to go to every (safe) themepark in the world. I would blog it/YT/whatever, make a series for it. Again, could be considered immature, but why? I work, contribute to society (always have, never been unemployed, sometimes had 3 jobs), I don't harm anyone or anything with my actions (weed sources were direct from suppliers/growers in legal countries). One of the lads I play D&D with just had a child, at 26 with his 25yo girlfriend. He did intend to have one, but not for another good few years, and while he has that expected "once I saw her, everything changed" mentality (although I fail to see it myself, it's something that needs to be experienced I believe, no thanks), he is already exhausted (she's 6 days old) and has no intention of having any more. That, to me, sounds like the end of my life! But one would consider it maturity to become a father.

I dunno, like most things it's subjective. I don't consider all the above expected life to be maturity. What even is maturity? Let people have fun and do crazy stuff into their 90's if they want, and don't be jealous of others enjoying their life their own way, stop labelling it as immature unless they're harming others in their pursuits of fun, and even then I may not consider it immature, could just be dickishness.

Leg End Reject · 09-07-2020 10:11pm

P-M, you've actually hit the nail on the head with something I was struggling to articulate.

There's the well-worn traditional life stages - education, work, marriage, children, grandchildren. While this is what a lot of people want, I think there some who follow the steps to fit in and conform rather than be seen as different.

I think maturity is living the life you want and not caring about the opinions of others.

mariaalice · 09-07-2020 10:17pm

The op seems to be talking about being street smart and able to hustle that is not maturity.

buried · 09-07-2020 10:20pm

king_of_mayo wrote: »

They effectively got all the glory and we never saw it coming.

If you need 'glory' as a means to fulfill your needs, you're not mature, you're as infantile as a raw egg.

[Deleted User] · 09-07-2020 10:30pm

I dunno..tbh, I'd kind of find the 'monk's lifestyle fairly questionable really..

Like, whatever, but like..

buried · 09-07-2020 10:32pm

Capra wrote: »

Maslow's hierarchy of needs lists recognition as one element of the need for esteem. Surely you have learned by now that everyone craves recognition of some sort?

What has 'recognition' got do to with "glory"? They are two totally separate definitions and mindsets.

Lollipop95 · 09-07-2020 10:39pm

If movies are to be believed, some American children are very precious for their age and talk like teenagers!

Dickie10 · 09-07-2020 10:51pm

Potential-Monke wrote: »

I too cannot follow the initial post, but I do like this idea of 'maturity'. It's not something one can just do, nor should there be expectations of what maturing is. I actually feel sorry for those who look on at others and think they're immature, because they're enjoying themselves at an age where the person mentioning it is probably jealous of the fun they're having, while they have 'matured' and are shit craic.

Looking back at my own life (and the right old age of 37 now), I would have been considered matured in my 20's. Good (perceived) job, mortgage, long relationship, possibility of having kids (if I wanted them). But I was miserable (took me a while to figure it out). Have since left the good (perceived) job, sold the house and took the negative equity, broke up with the girlfriend (she wanted kids, so best thing to do for her). Moved home.

Now, looking at my life from the outside, a single man in his late 30's living with his 2 70+ year old parents in their house, spends most time gaming, smoking weed if it can be got, playing D&D with mates pre-covid, watching anime and films and tv series not based on reality, one would say I could be immature. And so be it. I'm happier now than I was for most of my 20's. And if you consider it immature, then I genuinely think you're just feeling jealousy because I'm doing what I want to do and not conforming to the (to me) soul destroying life of marriage, kids, mortgage and all the boring stuff that comes with that.

If I win the lotto, I'm touring the world, not to see the sights, but to go to every (safe) themepark in the world. I would blog it/YT/whatever, make a series for it. Again, could be considered immature, but why? I work, contribute to society (always have, never been unemployed, sometimes had 3 jobs), I don't harm anyone or anything with my actions (weed sources were direct from suppliers/growers in legal countries). One of the lads I play D&D with just had a child, at 26 with his 25yo girlfriend. He did intend to have one, but not for another good few years, and while he has that expected "once I saw her, everything changed" mentality (although I fail to see it myself, it's something that needs to be experienced I believe, no thanks), he is already exhausted (she's 6 days old) and has no intention of having any more. That, to me, sounds like the end of my life! But one would consider it maturity to become a father.

I dunno, like most things it's subjective. I don't consider all the above expected life to be maturity. What even is maturity? Let people have fun and do crazy stuff into their 90's if they want, and don't be jealous of others enjoying their life their own way, stop labelling it as immature unless they're harming others in their pursuits of fun, and even then I may not consider it immature, could just be dickishness.

what a superb answer, true maturity may well indeed be knowing what makes you happy and the lifestyle you want and going for it, getting it and being happy, no matter if it is the mainstream or not. A huge amount of Irish people choosing singledom now. I have to say some of the most interesting people to chat to are those who have decided against marriage, house, children. I find sometimes those who go along with these things without truly loving that life become grey and beaten down and uninteresting very quickly once they get on board that particular treadmill.

Ubbquittious · 09-07-2020 11:02pm

Yanks and even more so Canadians live life in the fast lane. Get kicked out of your ma's house at 16,have a couple of kids around that age, get a job, get promoted, be earning mad money at 25.

Much easier to crash and burn in those places too. By the time fellas are 30 they have a few divorces behind them and a few substance addictions. Probably gone bankrupt once or twice as well

Do you think Irish people mature too late in life?

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