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23-07-2019, 20:24   #1
Gael23
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Helping someone struggling emotionally

Not sure this is the right place to post this but I can’t think where else.

Someone I know is battling cancer and not doing too good. Not officially terminal but just not doing well. I checked in to enquirer how they were doing and the reply I got was “I’m scared and depressed”.

I’m just not sure what I can do or say to help.
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23-07-2019, 20:26   #2
 
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Originally Posted by Gael23 View Post
Not sure this is the right place to post this but I can’t think where else.

Someone I know is battling cancer and not doing too good. Not officially terminal but just not doing well. I checked in to enquirer how they were doing and the reply I got was “I’m scared and depressed”.

I’m just not sure what I can do or say to help.
Just ask em how their treatment is going/have they long left
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23-07-2019, 20:27   #3
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Load of wank
.....nah, fk it.
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23-07-2019, 20:28   #4
sullivlo
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Just ask em how their treatment is going/have they long left
Long left on the treatment. Not long left in life.
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23-07-2019, 20:30   #5
Ward J. Littell
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before Sky TV times and you can ignore it if you want but there's plenty of elements there. A simple Google of Chelsea/Rangers brings up 100's of links and loyalist images. Linfield are a smaller club but they're there too. The Chelsea of today is different to the Chelsea even of the mid 90's but the element is absolutely still there and woven into the fabric of a portion of their fan base who'd be very fond of the ''No Surrender'' crap. Obviously it's not officially endorsed by the club!

Chelsea isn't just this megabucks superclub that you see on TV. Put it this way, you wouldn't bring an Irish tri-colour into one of their supporters bars if you knew what was good for you.


It got so bad back in the mid '80's & into the '90's at Stamford Bridge with Nazi Nuremberg style salutes by the thousands, vile racist abuse particularly of Black players & fans, that many of their Irish supporters changed over to supporting Arsenal. Chelsea supporters even used to sing racist songs about Welsh people.

Was over in Baku for the EL final, walked past a Chelsea / Rangers pub, still singing loyalist & racist songs, Linfield / Rangers shirts, UDA/UVF flags so nothing much has changed .
Is this really the thread you want to troll? Why not pick a more trivial one for the short amount of time you'll be here?
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23-07-2019, 20:33   #6
 
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I’m just not sure what I can do or say to help.
There might not be a lot you can say, but maybe just being there for them and listening could help.
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23-07-2019, 20:34   #7
 
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Long left on the treatment. Not long left in life.



Yes that is what i meant!.....though then people be glad to chat crap about anything else then afterwards
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23-07-2019, 20:35   #8
One eyed Jack
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Originally Posted by Gael23 View Post
Not sure this is the right place to post this but I can’t think where else.

Someone I know is battling cancer and not doing too good. Not officially terminal but just not doing well. I checked in to enquirer how they were doing and the reply I got was “I’m scared and depressed”.

I’m just not sure what I can do or say to help.

On the little bit of information you’ve given, there’s not much anyone here is going to be able to do or say that’ll help all that much either really.

You could do worse than ask the person themselves what they need or if they need anything, and if they tell you they don’t need anything, I wouldn’t push it. I’d literally play it by ear tbh.
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23-07-2019, 20:38   #9
Gael23
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On the little bit of information you’ve given, there’s not much anyone here is going to be able to do or say that’ll help all that much either really.

You could do worse than ask the person themselves what they need or if they need anything, and if they tell you they don’t need anything, I wouldn’t push it. I’d literally play it by ear tbh.
When someone tells you they feel down and are scared they might be going to die in a short space of time I don’t find the right words easily
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23-07-2019, 20:42   #10
ILoveYourVibes
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.....nah, fk it.
I love his posts.



Sorry to hear about your friend OP.

Hide yourself so you don't bother them yet at the same time be there in the shadows in case they do.

Maybe you could drive them to appointments. Or clean their house cook etc.

Be calm around them. Just be nice. Give them a lot of space as well.

Tell them they just have to hold on and do nothing else. This time next year will be better.
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23-07-2019, 20:50   #11
eviltwin
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When someone tells you they feel down and are scared they might be going to die in a short space of time I don’t find the right words easily
And its okay to tell them that. They aren't looking for you to provide them with all the answers. Sometimes the greatest gift we can give is just listening.
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23-07-2019, 20:56   #12
One eyed Jack
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When someone tells you they feel down and are scared they might be going to die in a short space of time I don’t find the right words easily

I don’t think anyone does tbh, your situation is completely understandable.
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23-07-2019, 20:56   #13
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When someone tells you they feel down and are scared they might be going to die in a short space of time I don’t find the right words easily
The reality is there's nothing you can say to help. Tell them you're sorry they're feeling like that and let them know you're there if they want to chat.

They might prefer to talk about mundane, non-cancer related things too. Sometimes a conversation you would have had before being unwell is welcome, a lot of people will simply tiptoe around them afraid of saying the wrong thing.
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24-07-2019, 07:37   #14
Graces7
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let them make the running in the conversation.
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24-07-2019, 09:58   #15
OldGoat
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I'd start that conversation by telling them "I’m just not sure what I can do or say to help".
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