Extract light near future sci-fi: introducing Felix

This is a short story I'm working on, near future light-hearted sci-fi



Appreciate any feedback on tone, style and writing generally!


Felix’s 30th birthday
Wednesday, January 11th, 2045.
It was Felix’s birthday. 30 years old. He was excited, in his way; chewing his sleeve, pacing his suite in elliptical patterns, mumbling (his prepared speech). Boston’s Pantheon hotel hosted the party. His Pa’s idea, of course. Show your face son! Celebrate our success! I stood at the north corner of the function room awaiting Felix’s entrance through the marble archway. At 8.30pm, or so, a bell rang and the imminent arrival of the birthday boy was declared by digitized announcer (setting “Enchanting female #3” I suspected). The special guests, 100 in all, pulled themselves together. Many quickly reviewed the agreed list of rules for the evening.



“We will not overwhelm Felix with too large a crowd” directed Pa. “All guests must stay at least one meter away from Felix unless directed otherwise by Becky or myself. By a squeeze of the guests’ right elbow.” “Guests must not be too noisy!” Felix was claustrophobic and the din of crowds could provoke a peculiar spasmodic reaction in him. I could only imagine his unseen mental distress. Phobic. Each guest agreed to our lengthy list of rules, including no photography, minimum distance, maximum noise output and approved greeting (smile, simple nod, no handshake, no physical contact, introduce yourself, never wink, turn and leave unless Felix says “Oh very interesting.”). Bit of an oddball this Felix? “Not odd! Enigmatic!” said Pa, regularly. Medically there were other diagnoses.



I don’t know who scripted the digitized announcer and changed the setting to Don King Boxing Promoter #4. I liked it. Pa wasn’t happy. At least the volume was appropriately low.


“All the way from… The Winner’s Suite on the 22nd floor, the whole of the 22nd floor, the Pantheon’s most prestigious suite, prices starting at four-ty thousand dollars per night, minimum 2 night stay… It’s the genius, former boy-genius, America’s favourite entre-pre-neur, the founder of 3 multi-billion dollar unicorns, studs… every single one of them, always the smartest guy in the room… and sexy to boot. It’s the most eligible bachelor in the whole of… the world, it’s… the betterer… Felix Greatman”.



Felix awkwardly lumbered into the room, as if pushed. He approvingly nodding to his guests, blushing. 30 Years Old. Gracelessly self-aware at six feet five inches tall, pale, prominent ears, upstanding auburn air, tight brown-ish beard. He was smartly dressed, thanks to a professional stylist, in 32-inch waist Canali birdseye patterned blue wool suit, brown Al Tono loafers and Apple® digi-belt playing the color-magic Rainbow motif. He looked like a well-dressed albino giraffe.


The guests didn’t go wild for fear of being too noisy. Some (naturally) began to clap, but were quickly Shushhhed. Shhhhhhh. One man whooped. He was cut short by an elbow to his ample belly by his wife. One lady (I think it was the CMO of Twitter, Dorothy D’Errico) wolf-whistled before her mouth was shut by 3 hands (from 3 different people). Shhhhhh.



Thankfully Pa stood close to Felix and realized the dilemma of the crowd. He began a quiet clap and his eyes encouraged the guests to join him. I joined in and also encouraged the guests close to me. Clap. Quieter. Clap. Yes. Just right. A slow quiet clap echoed throughout the room. Quietly. And rather tragically, I thought. I couldn’t bear it and signalled via my communicator to start the noise-limited Happy Birthday entertainment. On cue a troupe of female dancers emerged from the large south entrance to the function room, all eye-high and Rond de Jambe kicks, accompanied by the somewhat muted Big Band singer Bonbublia. Happy Birthday to You. The guests relaxed. “Thank **** for that” I heard (keen ears).



Felix was loosely encircled by the troupe, with a one meter perimeter observed. He was embraced firmly by Pa. With blushing red cheeks and tears in his eyes, Felix looked proud. Pa released Felix from his embrace and motioned for him to take a bow. Felix took a step forward to bow but was blindsided by a kick to the face, right to his nose from one of the dance troupe. Blood exploded from his nose like a burst blood bag and he stumbled groggily to his right side. Another of the dancers who had yet to notice the incident was mid-kick when her foot smashed into Felix’s face. Blood erupted. Bonbublia and supporting musicians and dancers noticed the gruesome spectacle and halted their performance mid note. The dancers and guests stood in paralysis horrified at the unfolding display. More than a couple of guests yelped in distress. They were quickly shushed. Shhhh. A man fainted on seeing the blood. He was caught before falling loudly. Everywhere gasps were muted by hands on mouths.


Felix, on all fours in a pool of blood, slowly raised his head and looked up towards Pa. “Pa, help me Pa.” Pa kept his distance not wanting to get blood on his shoes and shouted for me. I reached Felix at the same time as four security guards. There was an unnatural quietness in the room, punctured by Felix’s sobs. I sat beside Felix and comforted him. I put both my arms around him and held him tight, just as I did when we were ten years old and best buddies.



Pa angrily directed 2 of the guards to remove “the violent dancing ladies” from the party. “All of them. And that loud mouth Bonbublia too”. Pa got my attention and I gave him a thumbs up. The blood had already coalesced. Pa stood in front of Felix and I, one-stride removed from the pool of his son’s blood and addressed the audience. “We won’t let a little blood stop the party here tonight! We’ll patch Felix right up and he’ll be back out to us in no time. He’s prepared a speech we can all look forward to. I trust we can all keep this unfortunate incident to ourselves. Thank you. Please continue to enjoy the free bar. I have one additional request; would the lady who wolf-whistled earlier please remove herself from the party. Thank you.”
Felix didn’t return to his party that evening, but the guests had a great evening. And they turned the volume up to eleven.