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Wedding afters invite tonight, 40 miles?

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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 957 ✭✭✭MonsterCookie


    OP; did you go in the end? Put us out of suspension please!!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 397 ✭✭Wigglepuppy


    Sam Kade wrote: »
    The op seems more put out about not being invited to the whole wedding instead of be invited for the leftovers :)
    Well yes, that's what he said.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,624 ✭✭✭Little CuChulainn


    I would have thought afters invited are for work colleagues and the like. I wouldn't have thought a gift was expected either. If I got an afters invite from family I would consider it an insult.


  • Registered Users Posts: 170 ✭✭Suzyq


    I would have thought afters invited are for work colleagues and the like. I wouldn't have thought a gift was expected either. If I got an afters invite from family I would consider it an insult.

    I've fallen foul of that understanding about a gift not being required for a work colleague. I gave in to the work collection, went to the afters and got an email afterwards asking what I personally had got the couple as a wedding present. Awkward....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 26,658 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    This post has been deleted.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,190 ✭✭✭Samsgirl


    I don't get why people get insulted on receiving an invite to the evening of a wedding. It's the best part! You get to skip the formalities and small talk of the afternoon and arrive for the party.


  • Registered Users Posts: 21,093 ✭✭✭✭PARlance


    Suzyq wrote: »
    and got an email afterwards asking what I personally had got the couple as a wedding present. Awkward....

    *slides back into chair, tweaks nipples, puts on Joe Duffy voice*

    Talk to Suzyq, Suzyq from boards.ie on the line... email looking for present,...Suzyq, go on, tell me more...


  • Registered Users Posts: 170 ✭✭Suzyq


    Patww79 wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    It was from the groom, at the behest of his new wife I think/hope.

    The email was along the lines of 'we're doing up our thank you cards and can't find a gift with your name on it. But we do have some gifts with no labels on them so can you let us know what you got us so that we can make sure we thank you for the correct gift '


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 26,658 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    This post has been deleted.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    Suzyq wrote: »
    It was from the groom, at the behest of his new wife I think/hope.

    The email was along the lines of 'we're doing up our thank you cards and can't find a gift with your name on it. But we do have some gifts with no labels on them so can you let us know what you got us so that we can make sure we thank you for the correct gift '

    Lmao. What type of idiot does that?

    Pride yourself in having better social graces than this pair of baboons anyway Suzyq.

    You now have a choice though. Embarrass them with a well crafted reply, or say nothing and see if they keep up this idiocy with another email or followup text.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,544 ✭✭✭Samaris


    Suzyq wrote: »
    It was from the groom, at the behest of his new wife I think/hope.

    The email was along the lines of 'we're doing up our thank you cards and can't find a gift with your name on it. But we do have some gifts with no labels on them so can you let us know what you got us so that we can make sure we thank you for the correct gift '

    *criiinge* That seems to be incredibly common these days. Maybe it always was.

    I don't know quite how I'd handle that situation, if there were some gifts without names and I was trying to match them up to names so I could thank them properly, but there has to be a more graceful method than that! I'd certainly not want to put someone into that weird position or make it seem like I had expected a gift! At the same time, one can't just ignore it and not say thank you or there's reason for offence there too.

    Elope. It's the only answer that solves everything!


  • Registered Users Posts: 170 ✭✭Suzyq


    pwurple wrote: »
    Lmao. What type of idiot does that?

    Pride yourself in having better social graces than this pair of baboons anyway Suzyq.

    You now have a choice though. Embarrass them with a well crafted reply, or say nothing and see if they keep up this idiocy with another email or followup text.

    This happened years ago- I replied saying that I hadn't had the chance to get them anything yet. Still haven't got around to it funnily enough!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 26,658 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    This post has been deleted.


  • Registered Users Posts: 16,968 ✭✭✭✭A Dub in Glasgo


    Suzyq wrote: »
    It was from the groom, at the behest of his new wife I think/hope.

    The email was along the lines of 'we're doing up our thank you cards and can't find a gift with your name on it. But we do have some gifts with no labels on them so can you let us know what you got us so that we can make sure we thank you for the correct gift '

    Email back and say it was the Call of Duty PS4 bundle, that should confuse them


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,193 ✭✭✭✭Calahonda52


    Suzyq wrote: »
    It was from the groom, at the behest of his new wife I think/hope.

    The email was along the lines of 'we're doing up our thank you cards and can't find a gift with your name on it. But we do have some gifts with no labels on them so can you let us know what you got us so that we can make sure we thank you for the correct gift '

    My my, what cheek.
    Tell them you got a rampant rabbit, for him.

    “I can’t pay my staff or mortgage with instagram likes”.



  • Registered Users Posts: 12,313 ✭✭✭✭Sam Kade


    Suzyq wrote: »
    This happened years ago- I replied saying that I hadn't had the chance to get them anything yet. Still haven't got around to it funnily enough!
    I thought said there was a work collection for them?


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,490 ✭✭✭amtc


    My cousin got married recently. They sent an invite to the full wedding for my mam and dad, and one to my grandmother (who lives in Australia and wouldn't be able to travel...she is a sister of my cousin's grandmother). Anyway my aunt happened to be coming over from Australia and she replied to say that as my grandmother couldn't attend she would be honoured to represent the family. My cousin wrote to my mam to say this wasn't acceptable as only wanted people they knew and if my grandmother couldn't come my aunt was OK to come to afters! Theyve never met my dad who got full invite. We went, thinking that they were stuck on numbers. Found out afterwards that groom s mam had hired escort off internet.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 735 ✭✭✭Moo Moo Land


    amtc wrote: »
    We went, thinking that they were stuck on numbers. Found out afterwards that grooms man had hired escort off internet.

    I see...;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 735 ✭✭✭Moo Moo Land


    People have a real stick up their holes about this. Afters invite means you didn't make the cut but they'd like to have you at the afters/it'd be too uncomfortable to not invite you at all. If you don't want to go, they won't be upset. If you do go, they won't expect a present. So just decide what you want to do and stop reading so deeply into everything.

    That's nonsense! They will expect a present, a smaller one yes but turning up empty handed these days is frowned upon.

    I know people that feel the need to give a small present if they are invited to an afters and don't go.


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,554 ✭✭✭✭alwaysadub


    That's nonsense! They will expect a present, a smaller one yes but turning up empty handed these days is frowned upon.

    I know people that feel the need to give a small present if they are invited to an afters and don't go.

    Not all- we got married a few days ago, didn't expect a present from anyone whether they were coming to the full wedding or just the afters.
    Some people were very generous, some just gave us a card, and some gave us nothing. We don't think any less of the people that didn't get us anything and we even had to give out to a few people for giving us something as we know they have better things to be spending their money on than us!

    With regards to the afters, we were getting married a bit of a distance from where we live, so while we gave invites to some neighbours and work colleagues we didn't really expect them to come. They would have been disappointed if they hadn't got invited though- they said as much.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 170 ✭✭Suzyq


    Sam Kade wrote: »
    I thought said there was a work collection for them?

    Yes there was which he knew so I presumed that they felt that because I attended the afters that I should have got a separate gift. I certainly wasn't bothered to ask him to elaborate


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,723 ✭✭✭nice_guy80


    Go along, say hello and congrats to the couple.

    Give them a card, with no cash.

    Stay for a few minerals and chat to people you know, have a dance if you want, drive home.

    What's the big issue?


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,638 ✭✭✭andekwarhola


    That's nonsense! They will expect a present, a smaller one yes but turning up empty handed these days is frowned upon.

    Not when I got married.

    That said, I got married back when stag 'nights' were not lavish holidays and most Irish weddings were not pretentious, micromanaged consumption displays.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 185 ✭✭Amanda.ie


    That's nonsense! They will expect a present, a smaller one yes but turning up empty handed these days is frowned upon.

    I know people that feel the need to give a small present if they are invited to an afters and don't go.

    Really? you think people who go to the afters should bring a present?
    Getting asked to the afters of a wedding is frowned upon IMO.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 185 ✭✭Frank101


    OP; did you go in the end? Put us out of suspension please!!!
    I went in the end. It was good for a while until the sister had a few too much to drink and picked a fight with me over nothing - old sores or something? She followed me everywhere giving a self centered rant, until my family took the issue back to our room for much crying

    Too take my mind off things, I when back out and tried cracking on to a girl, all to realise her mother and aunties were watching.


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