Giving men your number on tinder?

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

...the conversation dies on its hole when they request it as ive no response for them other than no...

Why not just try 'I'd rather just keep chatting here for now if you don't mind' ?

If I was chatting to someone who I was interested in I would not have any issue with someone telling me that and would simply respect it.

From a lads perspective - Theres a lot of pressure on lads to charm through text without having ever met a girl. It's awful. A lot of guys put in a huge amount of effort and don't even get a text back after a match. So the move to Whatsapp is a way to find out if a girl is actually serious about her swipe right, or still on Tinder swiping away to find someone better. I hated Tinder texting and I hated Whatsapp. In the end I found out that after seeing pictures, finding out what their hobbies were and what they do for a living, it was time to meet or delete. What kind of reliable electricity can be generated over a few sentences about how someone's day went? In the end, the actual meeting will over rule all of that anyways. I'm sure a lot of girls would say the same about lads wasting their time.

If you're serious about finding someone, my recommendation is to match, find out what they do for a living, find out what their hobbies are, and if your boat is still afloat then meet them in a public place a good few times to see if there's a real connection. You can do all that by the way without exchanging numbers. If it doesn't go well, delete them on Tinder and they're gone forever. But the bottom line is lads hate texting because too many times one sentence can make or break a future which is just too much pressure!

Man who’d tend to ask for numbers relatively early on here. From my perspective, I’d do this for a few reasons:

1) Tinder chat is an absolute melt at times. POF is almost unusable these days.

2) There’s so many options with online dating, and so many variables, I don’t like to faff about and text for days/weeks. Sure this could be a person worth waiting for, but it’s also just as likely to be a 50yo bloke called Derek pretending to be a person worth waiting for, so I’d sooner just be adults and show we’re both legit.

3) I genuinely forget about Tinder for weeks at a time. It wouldn’t be part of my daily routine of apps I’d check (especially now I can’t use my phone at work so whenever I can it tends to be to check the essentials first) so, when I’d be on it, it’d be for one night out of boredom or because I’m feeling in the mood for meeting someone. I’ve had so many good chats with interesting people die because we’d have a great chat night one, then I’d get busy and just forget, and by the time I’d remember the moment has passed. Which leads me into...

4) I don’t see it as ‘real’ on Tinder. It’s not personal, I assume they’re talking to 5-6 other people at the same time (as I can be too so that’s not judgemental), it’s kind of like getting chatting to someone while waiting on a pint: it could be the love of my life or just pleasant banter for 30 seconds. I can’t and won’t invest in an unverified series of pictures. When we exchange numbers, we’ve shown a mutual, definite interest and intent to talk more. Now I’m actually paying attention. So, if I sense potential there, asking for a number is almost like “let’s have an actual real conversation now.” Until we do, meh, no matter how good the banter is. And there’s so many time wasters on Tinder looking for quick hits of validation, if we don’t swap numbers on the first night I’m mentally starting to assume the girl is one of them.

So there’s method to it at times too OP, it’s not all guys just pushing boundaries and after one thing.

scuby wrote: »

Maybe set up a kik account. Then your mobile number is not know to the other person and you can block them if it doesn't work out?

Kik screams "Chancer who just wants to sext" to me.

OP, fwiw, I don't give out my number til a date is in the offing. Doesn't have to be 100% nailed down as in date & venue but it has to at least have been discussed.

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

I get the tinder isnt the best place to get to know someone but id expect to be chatting for atleast a couple of days to see if conversation can flow and get to know each other a little bit. Keep in mind, most people have hundreds of matches and just as many messages, you cant expect someone to give every sound looking match their phone number, also none of us are special on tinder and cant expect special treatment, it takes time to see if a connection is there and its not all looks based, it helps at the start but after that its all about what youre like as a person.

Dial hard, id be in the same mindset, id only give my number if there was discussion of a date.

Texting to me is far removed from chatting, it's not a conversation, it's a delayed and thought out set of responses that are neither spontaneous or real. It can't possibly flow when there are delays in responses as you said earlier. Someone can seem like great craic with their witty banter and be a total gob****e when having a real conversation. So id be all for a quick text and just get out and meet. Have better things to do than talking ****e via dm.

You could get a dual SIM phone or a second phone perhaps. Or just go for a coffee and see what they're actually like, worked pretty well for thousands of years before tinder came along.

Problem is people are now so used to having 'conversations' by text when you meet them they **** themselves and clam up.

boundaries are pretty important if you're doing the dating apps so I'd say hold firmly onto them. i recently did a clearout of random guys' numbers that I'd met online before i even met my most recent ex (so going back 7+ years! ) and it reinforced how uncomfortable I am with it. I don't want a phone directory full of every tom, dick and harry i meet online. Swapping numbers is done only with people i know and have met and that's my boundary. I don't particularly care if a guy has his own good reason for it.

If it was me, i'd say "I prefer to know someone a little better before exchanging numbers" and leave it at that.

I’m really, really wary about giving out my phone number to people I don’t actually know (mainly due to the nature of my work). I may be slightly paranoid, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.

I’ve given my number to a few people on dating apps, one was a friend of a friend and the others were lads I already knew through work or my sports teams or whatever. I wouldn’t give it to someone I didn’t know outside of the apps unless there was a date lined up. I learned my lesson.

As for Instagram, mine is on private and only people I approve follow me on it. I don’t have it linked to my dating apps.