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Partner has to lose a third of his Penis

  • 12-06-2019 2:35am
    #1
    pebbles21
    Registered Users Posts: 1,817 ✭✭✭


    OK just looking for your opinions on the above statement..Im just about to get a procedure done due to a rare form of cancer in my penis and will take at least 3 months for it to heal and im told even though it will work sexually,it will never be the same ever again

    im terrifed my partner wont be able to adjust to this or even touch it again as it will look like a freak show for a good year or so

    My question here is what would you girls truthfully do if the same happended to your partner who you love and adore very much like mine does with me


Comments

  • #2
    pwurple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    Sorry to hear this and good luck with the recovery.

    Individuals differ of course, but generally if a relationship is solid, people undertake long term to love each other through health difficulties.

    Not the same , but women often have similar concerns after childbirth when their genitals can be completely unrecognisable afterwards.


    Mechanics-wise, there are possible prosthetics available, depending on the surgery. Also sexual items like strap ons , or other toys/devices that could be modified.

    Hope all goes well.


  • #3
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭[Deleted User]


    pebbles21 wrote: »
    OK just looking for your opinions on the above statement..Im just about to get a procedure done due to a rare form of cancer in my penis and will take at least 3 months for it to heal and im told even though it will work sexually,it will never be the same ever again

    im terrifed my partner wont be able to adjust to this or even touch it again as it will look like a freak show for a good year or so

    My question here is what would you girls truthfully do if the same happended to your partner who you love and adore very much like mine does with me

    You poor thing, that's an awful ordeal for you to go through. I hope everything goes well and you recovery quickly.

    If this happened my partner, my only concern would be his health and I'm sure that's the thing uppermost in your partners mind. Everything else is something I could adjust to, and while she might be a little worried about hurting you or find your new look a bit hard to get used to at first, it'll soon be the new normal. Sexually, you'll find workarounds if you need them, as mentioned above.

    Try not to worry about this stuff too much, you getting better is the most important thing and everything else will be figured out, as you say she loves and adores you and all she wants is for you to be okay. :)


  • #4
    notsoyoungwan
    Registered Users Posts: 614 ✭✭✭notsoyoungwan


    I know a couple in your situation. He had quite major surgery for penile cancer. It seemed to strengthen their relationship if anything,having been together through such an ordeal. They were able to conceive by IVF a few years later. I didn’t know them well enough to ask for many details but in terms of their sex life she said that things had changed but not insurmountably so. He did have issues with his sense of self and masculinity afterwards but sought psychological support and did really well.

    Best of luck OP, I hope all goes well for you.


  • #5
    mea_k
    Registered Users Posts: 213 ✭✭mea_k


    pebbles21 wrote: »
    OK just looking for your opinions on the above statement..Im just about to get a procedure done due to a rare form of cancer in my penis and will take at least 3 months for it to heal and im told even though it will work sexually,it will never be the same ever again

    im terrifed my partner wont be able to adjust to this or even touch it again as it will look like a freak show for a good year or so

    My question here is what would you girls truthfully do if the same happended to your partner who you love and adore very much like mine does with me

    I would stick by my man no matter what. Even if he was to loose the whole thing.
    And I'm sure many women will say the same.
    If your partner chooses to leave..... The girl ain't for you.


  • #6
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭[Deleted User]


    It wouldn't bother me at all - I'd just be worried about how he was doing.

    I hope everything goes okay for you OP.


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  • #7
    Lux23
    Registered Users Posts: 7,134 ✭✭✭Lux23


    I am so sorry, but if you were my partner my only concern would be for your health. The sexual side wouldn't even enter my mind, and I would learn to adjust to the changes.


  • #8
    pebbles21
    Registered Users Posts: 1,817 ✭✭✭pebbles21


    6 weeks now after the operation and my penis is healing well,it will never look the same and will be at least 4cm shorter than it was ..the whole of the glans were removed and a skin graft was used to reconstuct the glans .. ive being told by the surgeon that i can resume having sex now but both of us are not ready just yet and she has being brilliant throughout the whole process ..infact the cancer was so aggressive i could had lost all of my penis or worse die
    thanks for all the well wishes as this cancer is an horrible one to get as it has got to me physiologically as well as physically and all down to the hpv virus apparently ...


  • #9
    notsoyoungwan
    Registered Users Posts: 614 ✭✭✭notsoyoungwan


    Glad to hear you’re over the surgery and recovering. As I said up-thread, the man I know who had this did really well after getting counseling. Maybe something to consider, as it can have a huge impact psychologically.


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