[I Am Nobody]

Originally Posted by The Royal Scam

My 2 best mates were a year ahead of me in school so went to their debs and ended up sneaking away with both their dates. The one and only time I was a stud in my life.
Fell asleep in early house on the way home and most people in the pub wrote messages on my face and arms with mascara. Didn't know this until I made it home on the bus and my mother answered the door.

Oh yeah the one who passes out first gets the punishment!In the US when I was younger,we would spray paint their stomachs green and wrap them in cellophane then leave them at random areas nude.Good times!

[wiggle16]

Originally Posted by corner of hells

You're not JohnnyFlashs ex wifes cousin by any chance?

No, I'm a bloke! LOL

[Niner leprauchan]

Originally Posted by Frankx

I'm at your mom's house now

In your mom's bedroom

I'm in the cupboard watching....durty!!

[corner of hells]

Originally Posted by wiggle16

No, I'm a bloke! LOL

Round these parts, anything goes.

[Working class heroes]

Following................

[amadangomor]

Not sure it's scandalous but definitely dishonest

I was paid by a company I never worked for, for two months. Never said anything.

Was in the UK and did an interview for one of the well known large bookies as a teller. Aced the interview, the lads were saying I should have gone for the trainee managers position so was pretty sure I had the job in the bag.

Never heard anything but few weeks later got a payslip so checked my bank and the money was in my account. Same thing the next month. They stopped after that.

Wouldn't do it now but was flat broke justified it to myself at the time. Being a large bookies made that easier.

[I Am Nobody]

Ok an honest one from me.I once sold $100 worth of Oregano and Parsley to a bunch of college kids in Virginia,who thought it was Marijuana.

[Arghus]

Fegelien.

[Porklife]

Originally Posted by wiggle16

I got stood up by the same lad twice in a row, after waiting in a nightclub for him for a couple of hours I gave up and went for a smoke and ended up chatting to someone else. We went into a cubicle in the jacks and I gave him a blowjob.

As I was walking out of the jacks my erstwhile date appeared, having just arrived, and shouted "There you are!" and ran over to snog me.

Not one of my prouder moments.

🀣🀣🀣

[Sam Hain]

Originally Posted by Frankx

I'm at your mom's house now

In your mom's bedroom

Hopefully his mom won't come home and disturb you.

[wiggle16]

Originally Posted by Porklife

🀣🀣🀣

This is just euro and pound signs on my phone and laptop, what is it? Ha

[Man with broke phone]

Originally Posted by wiggle16

No, I'm a bloke! LOL

Well then it probably wasnt that big a deal for him I suppose.

[Dorian Plump Semifinal]

Originally Posted by frag420

PM sent...

Originally Posted by wiggle16

No, I'm a bloke! LOL

PM retracted?

[EmmetSpiceland]

Originally Posted by I Cant Read

Why do homosexuals do this?

Because they can?

[Blaaz_]

Dunno,if this counts


But one time,i was visiting sister abroad,and she had to run to shop....and left me at her gaff to mind her kid


All good,kid sleeping,me downstairs watching sky sports,listening to baby moniter

I could hear her neighbours having sex on moniter and not wanting to fcuk up looking after kid,had to listen in