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3 year relationship ended..what to do?

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    #32
    roro_utd
    Registered Users Posts: 40 ✭roro_utd


    snoreborewhore wrote: »
    I'm no stranger to that feeling myself :P
    I know how hard it is to be so upset over something and to have people console you and tell you to forget about her etc etc. Tbh as much as I hated my guy when he ended things and as much as I wanted him to drop off the face of the earth, it wasn't going to happen. I had spent so long with him that I couldn't just forget about everything, and as much as a dick that he was for ending things the way he did - I did love him.
    It's really not a matter of trying to forget a person, it's about moving on. I'll admit it took me a few months to really get over him (and I'll openly admit to checking his facebook once and a while..:P), but now that I've just accepted things and sorted my head out, things have been a lot better.
    Don't mind what she's doing with her time now. If she's out getting drunk all the time then let her, it shouldn't concern you. Don't beat yourself up over not sleeping with or kissing anyone else yet or whatever - if you want to really get over her then doing that too soon will just make you feel worse. Though that's just my opinion - my love life is practically non-existent at the moment and I really couldn't care less (well I could...but you get me)

    well gladly i've blocked her on facebook and haven't yet looked at her page. She was gettin tagged in her friends photos at nightclubs with other lads in the pictures and it was comin up on my newsfeed....so i deleted her friend aswell. It's a bit cynical but i just felt like it was the right thing to do. That type of sh*t is the last thing i need to see. I don't even know why I get these days where I feel all crap again about it. The last month or so since we broke up, i've been busy every weekend. Towards the end with her it got to the stage when i seen her once a week on saturdays and that was basically my whole weekend. Maybe i'd see friends the odd friday. So why am i still thinking so negatively sometimes...i don't get it. Its so annoyin :/ it's time to grow a pair to be honest.


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    #33
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    roro_utd wrote: »
    well gladly i've blocked her on facebook and haven't yet looked at her page She was gettin tagged in her friends photos at nightclubs with other lads in the pictures and it was comin up on my newsfeed....so i deleted her friend aswell. It's a bit cynical but i just felt like it was the right thing to do. That type of sh*t is the last thing i need to see. I don't even know why I get these days where I feel all crap again about it. The last month or so since we broke up, i've been busy every weekend. Towards the end with her it got to the stage when i seen her once a week on saturdays and that was basically my whole weekend. Maybe i'd see friends the odd friday. So why am i still thinking so negatively sometimes...i don't get it. Its so annoyin :/ it's time to grow a pair to be honest.

    You done the right thing, nothing cynical about it and i think her friend would understand if she had anything like your experience especially. Facebook is an absolute bain on ones life for something like this.

    We've all been there mate with the crappy feeling . Sometimes its good to just be grateful for the experience of having a relationship no matter how it ended. Sounds mad but when you do meet the next girl you'll have learned so much from this relationship that your experience will pay off. Mine ended badly but i look back at it and ask myself would i rather i hadnt have met her. HELL NO.....The majority of time i absolultely loved her company and had a ball

    Your only 22 still very young and you have your whole life ahead of you. I sometimes still wonder if i let a great girl go but at the time of our break up i even seeked advice from close friends asking what i should do. contact her and try to patch up or not and my friends were adamant that if she really was keen enough she would make more of an effort rather than just storming off and ignoring me for a full week.

    i really loved her but her carry on at the time we split was just not on and my friends were adamant that i deserved better then her and that she was behaving like a spoilt child. Deep down i suppose i knew there was no way back too. i wasnt going to put up with that. if i had to give in i could have been trapped today in a relationship based on fear of putting a foot out of line and thats not very healthy either. additionally we fought over little enough and it was our first row so if the relationship was that flimsy then its better it ended.

    she lives with another guy now miles away in another city and i wish them both well. i admit i felt jealous when i heard and took trip or two down memory lane at first but over time it got easier. I keep telling myself that if he has the patience to put up with her when she is in a strop then he deserves her alot more than i do and you certainly deserve better than someone just texting you to break up after 3 years.

    So naturally enough you will think about her but DO NOT be tempted in the slightest to look at her facebook page as you are only torturing yourself. Mix in different areas for a while or take a few trips away at weekends with mates. look after the body and if you are in college or even working then take up some activities where you can meet and interact with different people.


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    #34
    roro_utd
    Registered Users Posts: 40 ✭roro_utd


    Found out yesterday that a few mates were in town last week and they saw my ex, they mentioned my name and she called me a w****r apparently. Don't know what to think of that, between feeling bad about how little she gives a f**k, how she can be insulting when she was the one who ended things the way she did, and feeling good that I got away from a complete bitch of a person who is only interested in herself. My friends that seen her had never met her before and said she came across as an arrogant twat with a poor attitude, and apparently they had a few choice words with her. So in a weird way i'm kinda veering towards feeling good about being called names :D


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    #35
    snoreborewhore
    Registered Users Posts: 217 ✭✭snoreborewhore


    roro_utd wrote: »
    Found out yesterday that a few mates were in town last week and they saw my ex, they mentioned my name and she called me a w****r apparently. Don't know what to think of that, between feeling bad about how little she gives a f**k, how she can be insulting when she was the one who ended things the way she did, and feeling good that I got away from a complete bitch of a person who is only interested in herself. My friends that seen her had never met her before and said she came across as an arrogant twat with a poor attitude, and apparently they had a few choice words with her. So in a weird way i'm kinda veering towards feeling good about being called names :D
    Honestly? She sounds like a right cow to be calling someone she spent 3 years with a wanker. You're far better off without someone who is that self-centred and arrogant. I'm glad to see you're feeling better about things :)


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    #36
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    roro_utd wrote: »

    Found out yesterday that a few mates were in town last week and they saw my ex, they mentioned my name and she called me a w****r apparently. Don't know what to think of that, between feeling bad about how little she gives a f**k, how she can be insulting when she was the one who ended things the way she did, and feeling good that I got away from a complete bitch of a person who is only interested in herself. My friends that seen her had never met her before and said she came across as an arrogant twat with a poor attitude, and apparently they had a few choice words with her. So in a weird way i'm kinda veering towards feeling good about being called names :D

    :eek:

    Honest to god some women eh :rolleyes:.
    Look if she is acting that immature then she is not ready for such a serious relationship. im assuming she is same age as you?...however my 2 cents is that she is just venting her frustration at the relationship ending and that she doesnt actually believe you are a w**ker, etc.

    The relationship just wouldnt have lasted as long if that was the case. She does give a f*ck believe you me. If she didnt she would be alot behaved better about it.
    She is masking her despair and disappointment and perhaps heartbreak even with a bit of venom and bitterness but no woman that spent 3 years with a guy honestly thinks that lowly of him.

    Time is the best healer and you will both get to a point where things will have moved on and she in particular will gain alot of maturity in the coming months and years and be hugely embarassed at her behaviour. You on the other hand will come out the better and stronger from this. Whatever you do, dont lower yourself to counteracting her behaviour no matter how frustrating it is.


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    #37
    roro_utd
    Registered Users Posts: 40 ✭roro_utd


    snoreborewhore wrote: »
    Honestly? She sounds like a right cow to be calling someone she spent 3 years with a wanker. You're far better off without someone who is that self-centred and arrogant. I'm glad to see you're feeling better about things :)

    Yeah its mad how it can take being called a wanker to make me feel a bit better about things :) but i'm not complaining. It's strange how people just change suddenly though. Always knew she loved herself a bit, but the transformation in personality has been a bit shocking to say the least. Kinda sad to think about when someone you used to think the world of changes into this self-obsessed arrogant horrible person.


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    #38
    roro_utd
    Registered Users Posts: 40 ✭roro_utd


    Update on my situation: kissed the first girl since i broke up with my ex at a session last night. Its amazin how great just kissing someone makes you feel about things. She wasn't even great looking but i think that first kiss after you go through somethin like this really helps things. Well it has for me anyway. :D


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    #39
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Glad you have gotten closure - as the issue you posted for advice on is now resolved, I'll lock the thread.

    All the best, OP. :cool:


This discussion has been closed.
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