My ex has remarried but we are not divorced

Farr1972 · 13-10-2019 10:59am #1

Hi, I have been separated for over 5 years now but not legally and definitely not divorced as we have a house that has to be settled that neither of us are living in nor paying for. However that is separate. Today I was sent a video of him remarrying??? Where do I stand here. Unless was asleep when I signed we are not even legally separated? He has remarried in ireland - do they not check?? Thanks for any advice.

Jimbob1977 · 13-10-2019 11:05am

Farr1972 wrote: »

Hi, I have been separated for over 5 years now but not legally and definitely not divorced as we have a house that has to be settled that neither of us are living in nor paying for. However that is separate. Today I was sent a video of him remarrying??? Where do I stand here. Unless was asleep when I signed we are not even legally separated? He has remarried in ireland - do they not check?? Thanks for any advice.

I'm pretty sure that is 'bigamy' and completely illegal.

You should probably consult a family law solicitor or similar.

Especially in terms of inheritance and succession rights. The new woman could be completely in the dark.

Sleeper12 · 13-10-2019 11:12am

What was on the video? The couple may have had a ceremony of some kind to celebrate their love but it might not have been a legal marriage.

If it was a marriage then I would get legal advice. You should proceed with a devorce yourself. It's important to legally devide your assets and debts

SlowBlowin · 13-10-2019 11:14am

What country were you and your ex originally married in, was that Ireland as well ?

Farr1972 · 13-10-2019 11:21am

SlowBlowin wrote: »

What country were you and your ex originally married in, was that Ireland as well ?

Yes civil ceremony in ireland.

Farr1972 · 13-10-2019 11:23am

And you report that to the guards? It was definitely a legal wedding.. or not legal as the case maybe.. thank you for advice

Farr1972 · 13-10-2019 11:24am

Deffo a wedding.. thank you for advice.

_Brian · 13-10-2019 11:28am

Is there an option to leave it and move on with life ??

Akrasia · 13-10-2019 11:31am

If you have been separated for 5 years why have you not gotten legally separated or divorced by now?

Sleeper12 · 13-10-2019 11:33am

OP has property in her name and her husbands name. It's vital that she sorts this out. Should have been sorted sooner in my opinion. Getting a legal separation or devorce is even more important now that the husband has another wife. OP needs to visit a solicitor. Doesn't have to go running to the Gardai but definitely can't keep her head in the sand any longer. She needs a clean break from the ex

Farr1972 · 13-10-2019 11:33am

Yes if we were divorced...

Farr1972 · 13-10-2019 11:34am

Thanks sleeper1... will do... have had head slightly in sand but need to dig it out and move on.. had tried before but wasnt getting any response from him.. nothing back..

Sleeper12 · 13-10-2019 11:39am

Farr1972 wrote:

Thanks sleeper1... will do... have had head slightly in sand but need to dig it out and move on.. had tried before but wasnt getting any response from him.. nothing back..

I didn't mean that in a bad way Farr1972. We all have our heads buried in the sand at some stage in our lives.

Best of luck to you and I hope this gets sorted out for you without too much grief

SlowBlowin · 13-10-2019 11:51am

I agree with Sleepers comments, no point rushing to the guards, just get a clean break. Negotiations should be easier that way.....

ksceniaonegina · 23-10-2019 6:35pm

Get a solicitor now and sue him for all he has

AulWan · 28-10-2019 1:05pm

Sleeper12 wrote: »

OP has property in her name and her husbands name. It's vital that she sorts this out. Should have been sorted sooner in my opinion. Getting a legal separation or devorce is even more important now that the husband has another wife. OP needs to visit a solicitor. Doesn't have to go running to the Gardai but definitely can't keep her head in the sand any longer. She needs a clean break from the ex

As far as I know the second marriage would be invalid so he still only has one legal wife. The other poor woman is probably clueless that the first wife exists or believes he is divorced.

I think I'd go to the Gardai, to be honest. Id be worried about being connected to the kind of person who'd do something like this, (and is brazen enough to send video) god knows he probably has loans etc in his first wife's name, she is dealing with someone who doesn't care about committing fraud.

He needs investigating.

Sleeper12 · 28-10-2019 2:29pm

AulWan wrote:

As far as I know the second marriage would be invalid so he still only has one legal wife. The other poor woman is probably clueless that the first wife exists or believes he is divorced.

I would agree with this but just to avoid future complications OP needs to get a separation, devorce or report imo

italodisco · 28-10-2019 2:34pm

Tell him to sign his part if the house over to you and you won't report him for bigamy.

Then move on.

He's moved on. You've had 6 years to get divorced and you didn't. Get over it.

AulWan · 28-10-2019 5:54pm

Farr1972 wrote: »

Thanks sleeper1... will do... have had head slightly in sand but need to dig it out and move on.. had tried before but wasnt getting any response from him.. nothing back..

Its very difficult to get a separation from someone who won't engage with you or the process.

There must be a reason why he did this, and I suspect its all down to the joint property and financials.

I would be calling the cops, revenue, and engaging a forensic accountant and solicitor.

Or, alternatively, you can resort to blackmail, as has been suggested.

My ex has remarried but we are not divorced

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