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26-05-2020, 08:19   #3901
drydub
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In the exact same boat.

Currently organising my wedding and there are on and off considerations of being able to have a few on the night, but when it comes down to it I don't think I'll be able to. Thankfully
For what it's worth i was drinking at my wedding and although you are too busy during the day to drink too much etc. All i remember was looking at my pals on the day in the bar and i was getting wooshed around to do X Y or meet Z and it consumed me. Why couldnt i have a rake of pints too.

Then i just drank until black out and was dying the next day where i topped up and was bladdered from early on. I see my photos from the second day and I was visibly swollen from drinking so much.

If i could take it back i would have drank less or if i had been in the right frame of mind , not drank at all.

In choosing the hotel we picked i remember one of the main negotiation points was to have a Heinken tap in the main dining hall, like it went back andforth quite a bit and i look back with complete embarassment about it to this day.
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29-05-2020, 19:42   #3902
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Well done to all those staying sober and on the wagon in these disconcerting, frustrating and unsure times.

I have struggled at times myself since the lockdown began in mid-March and - in early April, with intense pressure and stress in trying to get my home office/spare bedroom hugely retooled - and ramped up several gears to do full online working, and one particular day when it just got completely on top of me and I wanted to chuck the computer out the window and feck off down to the off-licence, I paused and thought of how far I’ve come in the past 2 years in sobriety, in recovery and getting my life back on track. I especially thought of the happiness and peace of mind I have today, despite the worries and challenges. I chaired my second AA meeting on Wednesday, this time on Zoom. It really feels great to dI service and give back.

Would a relapse, then, really be worth endangering all that? No, no bloody way!
Doing my AA groups online on Zoom - sure, it’s no proper substitute for a physical, face to face meeting and I do really miss regular social interaction...

...but it sure as hell beats being cooped up in a tiny, dingy flat with no job, isolated from family and friends who weren’t calling in or phoning any more, no hobbies, no interests, daytime TV my only friend, not eating properly (if at all some days) no self-care, a mess, the DTs, sweats, shakes, crippling anxiety in the morning when the booze ran out, the washing machine head, blood pressure through the roof, A&E visits after seizures and hallucinations...

No, I have just way, way, too much to lose. I love my sober life. I love having my peace of mind. I love my partner. I love having a clear head and so much to look forward to. ����

One day at a time.

Last edited by JupiterKid; 29-05-2020 at 19:51.
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02-06-2020, 20:40   #3903
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3 days.

I thought i was acing the lockdown. Turns out the pleasure the few cans or glasses that helped round off a busy day of working from home were just feeding into anxiety and negativity. It disappeared in the morning and built throughout the day, temporarily alleviated by alcohol in the evening. The number of drinks went from a few a week before the lockdown, to 1 or 2 a night, then 2 or 3, 3 or 4, as many as 6, plus more at the weekend.

I find whether among people or nature my mind is elsewhere. I'm looking at a garden i didnt maintain, a shed i didnt clear out, clothes i didnt put away, books i haven't read.

I had a call with my gp today and will be picking up a prescription tomorrow, as well as having a call with a counsellor tomorrow. On sick leave the rest of this week, hopefuly a week back at work without emergencies, and then into the first annual leave I took all year that I wasn't checking my work phone.
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02-06-2020, 20:42   #3904
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half way through my 13th year.
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02-06-2020, 20:42   #3905
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Fair play man..Best of luck with it..
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03-06-2020, 08:54   #3906
drydub
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Originally Posted by antix80 View Post
3 days.

I thought i was acing the lockdown. Turns out the pleasure the few cans or glasses that helped round off a busy day of working from home were just feeding into anxiety and negativity. It disappeared in the morning and built throughout the day, temporarily alleviated by alcohol in the evening. The number of drinks went from a few a week before the lockdown, to 1 or 2 a night, then 2 or 3, 3 or 4, as many as 6, plus more at the weekend.

I find whether among people or nature my mind is elsewhere. I'm looking at a garden i didnt maintain, a shed i didnt clear out, clothes i didnt put away, books i haven't read.

I had a call with my gp today and will be picking up a prescription tomorrow, as well as having a call with a counsellor tomorrow. On sick leave the rest of this week, hopefuly a week back at work without emergencies, and then into the first annual leave I took all year that I wasn't checking my work phone.
A lot of what i read through what you were saying is kinda linked to the overall crappy feeling a lot of us have as this lockdown eases a bit. I get a pang in my chest sometimes as i think of all the things i was 'supposed' to do with this time off and now that its nearly 3 months and i havent achieved them im beating myself up. But i've gained a lot in other ways. I've adjusted to working from Home and i've been present through all of this and i did what i could when i could. That's all that was necessary really. The shed and garden can wait. They always will.

You've prioritised yourself by seeing the GP and availing of counselling, thats a massive step that so many fail to make so give yourself a clap for that.
Recognise that you've identified alcohol creeping in on you but you've countered that, you just need to stick with it. You also have to be kind to yourself and see that this is just a $hitty time period for everyone and we weren't supposed to reinvent the wheel and its ok to just 'be'

Let us know how you are getting on
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03-06-2020, 18:23   #3907
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Figured I’d best jump in sometime soon & introduce myself, now is as good a time as any!

I’m 39 about a month or so now, haven’t been properly drunk since my 21st birthday. I’ve not been completely alcohol-free since then, friends & family occasionally use me as a test subject where I’m handed a bottle or plate of something alcoholic & asked to taste it, and I can always taste it.
In my younger days I did always love being drunk but I literally cannot stand the taste of anything alcoholic & over time gave it up completely. I started drinking beer with friends aged around 16 or so, over the years it changed to cider, then West Coast Coolers & Bacardi Breezers etc. The drinks got sweeter & sweeter but the taste of the alcohol always soured it for me. At the end I was drinking Kahlua & milk, but I had to force myself to drink something that tasted more & more vile to me & eventually getting drunk was taking all the enjoyment out of actually being drunk!
I’m lucky in a way I suppose that I couldn’t hack consuming any alcoholic drinks, I’ve some pretty substantial ongoing medical issues & always being sober removes another possible complication. It also saves taxi fare for 4 lucky friends who’re guaranteed a lift home after a skinful! I never minded being sober in the pub or wherever, my friends all know & understand and they’ve always looked after me when we’re out.
Anyways, onward & upward NDG!
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03-06-2020, 19:10   #3908
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Day 85 - feeling good, lots of ups and downs though but coming out on the other side.

Decided it would be a good time to start focusing on exercise and healthy eating
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04-06-2020, 19:41   #3909
Fingers Mcginty
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Day 85 - feeling good, lots of ups and downs though but coming out on the other side.

Decided it would be a good time to start focusing on exercise and healthy eating
Misery is alive!!! Sorry

Coming up to 2 months myself. Longest I've been on the wagon was 4 months in the last 30 odd years but i think this hiatus from the booze might be a permanent one hopefully.
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05-06-2020, 13:07   #3910
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10 days for me. Lockdown had been bad, saw it as an excuse to have regular "sundowners" which for me means 2 bottles of wine !

Hit a wall last week, I can already feel the difference in a positive sense. I did 3 months at the back of last year and was so much happier. I'm remembering that feeling now so really going to give it everything this time.

Wish me luck !
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05-06-2020, 13:09   #3911
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Good luck etc..
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10-06-2020, 10:28   #3912
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In the exact same boat.

Currently organising my wedding and there are on and off considerations of being able to have a few on the night, but when it comes down to it I don't think I'll be able to. Thankfully
Do you tend to binge drink and then go off it, or is alcohol having an effect on your general day to day life like do you consider you have a problem with alcohol? Or is it more just for health, energy reasons etc that you stopped? Have our talked to your fiancé about it?
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10-06-2020, 10:32   #3913
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I'm at around 3 1/2 years..
tbh I don't miss it,..drunk people annoy me, but I kind of do find I miss the social aspect..
Do kind of half miss the odd meeting the last while too..
It's surely tough for anyone trying to stop now..
Hopefully meeting will resume soon, the social side is hard I’m not a drinker (bf was) and even I miss the social side at times but then I think about it the first half hour is grand then it just gets tedious. Which is why it’s so important to take up new things, and not just done random hobby. Things that will challenge you and trying stuff that you’d maybe be too nervous to try but have always wanted to have a go at. Pushing your limits and setting goals.
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11-06-2020, 09:20   #3914
tusk
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Do you tend to binge drink and then go off it, or is alcohol having an effect on your general day to day life like do you consider you have a problem with alcohol? Or is it more just for health, energy reasons etc that you stopped? Have our talked to your fiancé about it?
When I drank, I usually drank to get wasted. After a night out I'd basically be incapacitated for days. I also turned into an absolute asshole a lot of the time.

At the end of the day it mostly came down to health reasons. I could feel myself slowly withering away with every occasion and feeling less and less myself.

Since giving it up I now have a fear of not being in control psychically or mentally and the thoughts of being drunk and not having that control of myself frightens me.

We've talked about it. She supports whatever I decide
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13-06-2020, 22:17   #3915
anniewilkes
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Day 94.

Feeling lost really..have let go of a lot of people who I've hung out with over the years as they are all partiers, never did anything together other than party so finding lockdown difficult at the moment.
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