Originally Posted by Tiddlypeeps
You'd be surprised how many people think they own a bunch of the land at the front of their house. It's especially common with people thinking they own the street parking in front of their property, causes all sorts of arguments.
People are really odd about these things. When we moved in, the entire garden between us and next door was shared. The other neighbour had been cutting the entire thing for years and remarked she was relieved that someone else can do half of it now.
First thing I did was remove half of my side and a flower bed, and replace it with stones, so we could actually park in the driveway and not have to walk in mud.
I should also note that this neighbour is out religiously every week cutting the grass in the summer. Once a week, every week. I have young kids. I might get time to get out and cut it every 2nd week.
So for the most part she was still carrying the load on the front garden. But when I put down the stones, she progressively stopped cutting over our side, further and futher. Until she was leaving half of the garden uncut. Whatever.
Then they asked to build a wall down the front garden. "Oh this is nothing personal, we'd been thinking about it for years, but never had the money!". Sure, whatever.
Still the grass cutting, once a week, every week in the summer. She did the verge out the front. I never bothered because it was never long enough to need cutting.
Then we built an extension. And after a number of very rude and entitled texts from her about it, relations became that bit frostier.
This year I saw that half of the grass verge out front had been left uncut. I do the whole verge when I go out now. I won't get drawn into the petty bullsh1t.
Oddly enough, we share a "parking" space out front, and it's never been a problem. There's an unspoken "first-come" agreement in place, and everyone's cars move often enough not to piss the other side off. Sometimes the space is completely empty because everyone decided to park in the driveways. We've never had a single word said about it to eachother. Funny how things work.
If I was the OP, Id be inclined to assume there's some form of substance abuse at play here to explain the completely off the wall reaction. So I'd be looking to call into the neighbour and time it for when he's not half-cut. The purpose would not be an argument but to try and come to an understanding; because you don't want to spend the rest of your time running in and out hoping not to see him. I'd rather know for definite that I'm on ****ty terms with a neighbour than spend my time hoping not to bump into them. At least then you could actually ignore them without feeling uncomfortable about it.
If it's not substance abuse, then it's mental illness and the Gardai is your only way forward. It's all well and good to say, "Ah sure just keep out of mad Tom's way and nobody will come to any harm", until the day that he comes out and punches one of the kids or kills someone's dog with a shovel. He's a clearly dangerous person, and ignoring him and leaving him be is not the appropriate response. It's the Irish response, but that rarely turns out for the best.