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23-04-2008, 16:37   #61
trout
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Inspired by a combination of the fine weather, the Limerick thread, and some very dorty posts in the bar this afternoon ... I am moved to record some of the poetry pa trout was wont to recite.

#42 The "Spring is Sprung" poem, recited when fine weather is noticed (but no ladies)

Spring is sprung
The grass is riz
I wonder where
The birdies is ?

at which point pa trout would leer, looking for the ladies

#43 The "Apples be Ripe" poem, recited in fine weather when ladies are noticed

Apples be ripe
nuts be brown
petticoats up
trousers down

at which point pa trout would say "hwa hwa hwa hwa hwa"*



*oh, he loved to laugh did pa trout
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07-06-2008, 11:47   #62
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I was reminded of this one yesterday, when discussing what time people get up for work of a morning.

pa trout liked sleeping, almost as much as he liked beer, steak and chips, and yet he would often haul his carcass out of bed and into work at the crack of dawn, hours before his colleagues

When I asked him to explain this dichotomy (that's how we talked back then) he gave me this sage advice

#44 ... the man with a reputation for rising early, can often stay in bed till noon
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11-06-2008, 19:16   #63
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Thanks go to Brother Wilburt for triggering this memory

#45 ... on hearing anyone complain of stomach pains, indigestion, or any form of tummy upset pa trout would smile and say "shure, have a good hard sh1te now and you'll be grand"

he almost always farted as this advice was imparted, by way of emphasis
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11-06-2008, 19:22   #64
 
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Wise man he was.
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28-06-2008, 13:21   #65
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This one was triggered by Zapherella's recent thread about pancake-covered-sausage-on-a-stick.
When faced with a new 'thing', especially if it was related to food or drink pa trout would exclaim

#46 ... you should try anything once ... except for incest, folks songs and dancing
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21-09-2008, 19:32   #66
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Brother trout. Any more fantastic tales to tell from pa trout? Would love to hear some more.

Den
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07-11-2008, 14:59   #67
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Ah a man after my own heart




/A pint left behind the bar for his son
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20-03-2009, 22:15   #68
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Although he was blessed with a most sweet and gentle nature, pa trout would sometimes find himself confronted by angry, shouty louts who would offer invitations to "step outside"; at such times pa trout would say

#47 ... grand so ... you go outside and practice falling down ... I'll be along directly
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20-03-2009, 22:18   #69
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Great to see Pa Trout back He has been missed.
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21-03-2009, 14:57   #70
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If the angry shouty lout looked really serious about "stepping outside" ... pa trout would speak very softly, and utter the following words of wisdom

#48 ... grand so ... let me have your mammy's address first, so I'll know where to send the flowers.
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24-03-2009, 10:10   #71
 
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If the angry shouty lout looked really serious about "stepping outside" ... pa trout would speak very softly, and utter the following words of wisdom

#48 ... grand so ... let me have your mammy's address first, so I'll know where to send the flowers.
I am reminded of an incident with my da related by my older brother from many years ago! They were both in the same establishment when some shouty louts invited my Da outside to continue a discussion of their differences, a mate of my brother noticed what was going on and pointed it out to the brother. At this point the brother saw my da going out the door after the two lads in question, by the time my brother made it from the far end of the bar to the outside the two lads were on the ground and my da was standing there looking all innocent! He looked my brother straight in the eye and said "Son! There is no such thing as a fair fight!"*







*It is worth noting that my dad was an unarmed combat instructer in the army during WW2
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25-04-2009, 17:06   #72
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pa trout loved "de fillums", especially Clint Eastwood or Jimmy Bond movies.

One friday night, we watched Commando, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, where we both admired Arnold's robust attitude to problem solving.

pa trout on Arnold Schwarzenegger

#49 ... "he looks tough, wha ? ... betcha he sh1tes coconuts"
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07-06-2009, 21:40   #73
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Thanks for this trout

In eternal memory of my Grandfather, here is a famous quote of his. He is a Giant.

"The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions."

Wise words indeed.
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17-06-2009, 12:11   #74
 
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Great thread.

Reminded me of my late grandfather.

He enjoyed his Guinness and the day after a particularly pint heavy excursion he let go one of the most rip roaring and pungent farts Ive ever encountered.

Cue my mother (his daughter) tutting in disapproval and Mikey retorting with

"better out than your eye daughter,and not half as sore on the hole"
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23-09-2009, 00:16   #75
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I remember me ol Granpas last words :-
"Be Jaysus there's people dying now that never died before"
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