One Night Stand Debacle

Right,

Last week I had an amazing week, went to two concerts in the space of a few days, enjoyed myself thoroughly, in the lead up to the two gigs I was messaging this nice woman on POF who liked one of the same acts but she couldn't attend the gig due to work, she lives in my locale which makes a change from anyone I messaged on or even met on it before. So I said out of niceness that I'd get a video of her fave song and send it to her at some point during or after the gig, which I did and she was delighted with it

Anyway, last Friday afternoon I got back from the concert the night before, stayed overnight with a buddy of mine, spirits were high and all that.

Was just chilling out at home and she was snapchating me on and off throughout the day, got a bit more flirty as it got into the evening, said her snaps were cute and she said the same of mine, said I'd love a meet-up sometime and she said "Yeah that would be brilliant" she had plans that night to hang out with a friend so I said "Good stuff, have a good night" and it was all quiet for about an hour and a half. Next thing she texts me saying her plans fell through and she asked "Fancy a hangout?"

I said "Yeah, cool, why not?" so I scrubbed up real quick had no time for a shower I only had a half hour to get down to her so I washed up real quick, brushed teeth, threw on a decent shirt, some aftershave and headed down to a bar we both knew to meet up. Met her near the pub, and she is very pretty, chatty and full of banter, had a laugh with her all evening. About 2 hours into the night, we were in the beer garden and she asked for a kiss, so went in for kiss, which was very prolonged and just terrific, next thing she became very handsy and gropey, something I am totally not used to on a first date, but it was great.

I won't go into detail on what happened in the beer garden but for a fella who has had barely any sexual contact in pushing on 3 years, I was all up for it, I until this point was a 30 year old "one night stand virgin" I suppose. This s**t just doesn't happen to me. Anyway we calmed down a bit and had another drink or two more then I end up back in her house where more shifting ensued, she made it known that she doesn't sleep around and I said "Neither do I" which was the truth, and we took it upstairs.

What followed was a unbelievably prolonged roll in the hay, which went on I have no idea how long, I think it was starting to get light out when we were wore out and finally went to sleep, but I believe I hit it out of the park and she was magnificent too, and it followed a repeat performance when morning came which was dare I say better which left me wrecked for the day. I'll go as far and say it's the best I've had in closing in on 5 years.

We talked loads then and had tea and I played with her dog for a while, she had to head to her hometown for a few days to give her family a hand in their family business so she packed a few things while I played with her dog, she fancied a hangout for the afternoon but her Dad wanted her to be back a little sooner than later so I said I'd buy her lunch somewhere nice before she headed off, so we did that, had a nice lunch then went to a shop so she could pick a Father's day present for her Dad, was heavy so I carried it to her car, and she dropped me off home, and got a kiss goodbye.

Basically I was on a bit of a high then for the weekend, met some friends on the Saturday and they were wondering why I was in higher than usual mood. Told my male and female friend the jist of the story without as much detail as I have here of course, kept it short and sweet because they don't need to hear that... and they were like "Wow!" etc

The weekend was great, then I get up for work Monday, and there is a text on my phone and it reads "hey I had a really fun time with you but I'm not looking for something serious and is it cool if we're just mates?" was a confusing thing to look at, text her back then went to work all hazey headed for the day, had a good day in work but at the same time I wanted to be there and didn't want to be there, my form was off due to the confusion of that message and the texts didn't pick up until I finished work, so it was a long as f**k day kind of.

It was a bit of a knock to me, since I generally hadn't done the whole one night thing before and hoped something could be made out of it, I thought she was into me like. Tried to talk her around, saying I had taken a liking to her and generally I have never had a one night stand with anyone.

She says she's not into them either but she has no idea what she wants and doesn't think that's fair on me.

I said well I didn't regret what happened the other night and I think it's a shame she's not willing to give me a chance and that I enjoyed being in her company even if I didn't go home with her and that I really got the feeling she liked me during and after it all happened and I had it in mind that it could go somewhere and I'd hate to think I done something to change her mind about me.

She then says she does like me and thinks I'm really cool and we like a lot of the same stuff and I didn't say or do anything wrong and that she usually falls instantly and knows when she does and she'd love if we could hang out and wanted to be honest and not waste my time because that would be unfair and hoped I didn't feel bad

I said "Well I'm not going to grovel or beg for a chance, you know how you feel" and said that I was up for keeping in contact. Like I didn't want to be a big prick about it, even if I was a little bitter. I have been the bitter prick in the past with people that (ahem...rejected me) but I'm working on being the better person and not doing that anymore. I've had a crappy few years dating wise leading up to this..

She said she wants to keep in contact and to not overthink it and she doesn't expect me to beg or grovel for a chance and that I'm lovely and smart and sound and good in bed and it's just how she feels and if I want to be her friend that's cool, if not that's also cool.

Said I was ok with being friends, but at the same time I'm like "F**k sake!" In my head it's kind of like scoring a goal in the World Cup then being told I was offside or something. I've been busy from Monday to now working and hadn't had a chance to really think about the situation and let it sink in, I've just been repeating the word "F**k" quietly to myself all evening.

We had been texting on and off throughout the week, she more or less subtly said she's up for a more casual arrangement, like friends with benefits type of thing. At my age am I too old for that kind of craic? She's 2 years older than me as well, I'd like to think at our age people would have some idea what they want and are after something a bit more serious or long term. No??

I know this is a long and wandering story now that I read it back, all I'm wondering is, do I bother pursuing it further hoping she'll change her mind? Should I partake in the casual arrangement if she contacts me over it? Probably would be fun, but at the same time, I'd like a bit more than that like..

All opinions will be duly noted.


Thanks