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Was I wrong?

  • 03-04-2020 7:05pm
    #1
    babynice
    Registered Users Posts: 114 ✭✭


    A friend of mine has had some bother with her boyfriend in the last few days. He drinks a lot and was fighting with someone and sounds like a very depressed person in general from what I’ve heard.

    Today she must have went out to his home house with him, which is maybe 20 minutes from where we all live. I’m not sure how she got there. She doesn’t drive but I do. She asked me to drive to where she was and bring them home.

    She is still working in an essential service. Whereas I am working from home and self isolating. I refused to drive her. I was telling my boyfriend and another friend, and they said I should have helped her out. I felt that I should not have been asked considering I don’t know who she and her boyfriend have been in contact with.

    I feel guilty now but was I right to refuse her?


Comments

  • #2
    KaneToad
    Registered Users Posts: 3,160 ✭✭✭KaneToad


    babynice wrote: »
    A friend of mine has had some bother with her boyfriend in the last few days. He drinks a lot and was fighting with someone and sounds like a very depressed person in general from what I’ve heard.

    Today she must have went out to his home house with him, which is maybe 20 minutes from where we all live. I’m not sure how she got there. She doesn’t drive but I do. She asked me to drive to where she was and bring them home.

    She is still working in an essential service. Whereas I am working from home and self isolating. I refused to drive her. I was telling my boyfriend and another friend, and they said I should have helped her out. I felt that I should not have been asked considering I don’t know who she and her boyfriend have been in contact with.

    I feel guilty now but was I right to refuse her?

    Yes. You were right to refuse.


  • #3
    Speak Now
    Registered Users Posts: 8,504 ✭✭✭Speak Now


    If she knew you were self isolating she had no right to ask you.


  • #4
    99nsr125
    Registered Users Posts: 1,183 ✭✭✭99nsr125


    babynice wrote: »
    A friend of mine has had some bother with her boyfriend in the last few days. He drinks a lot and was fighting with someone and sounds like a very depressed person in general from what I’ve heard.

    Today she must have went out to his home house with him, which is maybe 20 minutes from where we all live. I’m not sure how she got there. She doesn’t drive but I do. She asked me to drive to where she was and bring them home.

    She is still working in an essential service. Whereas I am working from home and self isolating. I refused to drive her. I was telling my boyfriend and another friend, and they said I should have helped her out. I felt that I should not have been asked considering I don’t know who she and her boyfriend have been in contact with.

    I feel guilty now but was I right to refuse her?

    No


  • #5
    LadySkunk
    Registered Users Posts: 1,392 ✭✭✭LadySkunk


    babynice wrote: »
    A friend of mine has had some bother with her boyfriend in the last few days. He drinks a lot and was fighting with someone and sounds like a very depressed person in general from what I’ve heard.

    Today she must have went out to his home house with him, which is maybe 20 minutes from where we all live. I’m not sure how she got there. She doesn’t drive but I do. She asked me to drive to where she was and bring them home.

    She is still working in an essential service. Whereas I am working from home and self isolating. I refused to drive her. I was telling my boyfriend and another friend, and they said I should have helped her out. I felt that I should not have been asked considering I don’t know who she and her boyfriend have been in contact with.

    I feel guilty now but was I right to refuse her?

    Yes you were right to refuse. It’s not following social distancing guidelines and it was not an essential journey for you to make so you were completely right to say no


  • #6
    splinter65
    Registered Users Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    99nsr125 wrote: »
    No

    Why so?


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  • #7
    Heres Johnny
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,738 ✭✭✭Heres Johnny


    You were right
    They shouldn't have asked


  • #8
    splinter65
    Registered Users Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    babynice wrote: »
    A friend of mine has had some bother with her boyfriend in the last few days. He drinks a lot and was fighting with someone and sounds like a very depressed person in general from what I’ve heard.

    Today she must have went out to his home house with him, which is maybe 20 minutes from where we all live. I’m not sure how she got there. She doesn’t drive but I do. She asked me to drive to where she was and bring them home.

    She is still working in an essential service. Whereas I am working from home and self isolating. I refused to drive her. I was telling my boyfriend and another friend, and they said I should have helped her out. I felt that I should not have been asked considering I don’t know who she and her boyfriend have been in contact with.

    I feel guilty now but was I right to refuse her?

    Totally unnecessary journey, stupid idea. Nice dry sunny day absolutely nothing to stop the 2 of them walking home.


  • #9
    ArtyC
    Registered Users Posts: 1,504 ✭✭✭ArtyC


    You did the right thing .


  • #10
    Caranica
    Registered Users Posts: 10,000 ✭✭✭✭Caranica


    She broke the law by going to his house. You cannot go to any other houses unless you're an essential worker. You did the right thing and your friend's carry on will contribute to lockdown being extended for everyone. When will people get the message!!!!!


  • #11
    Kidchameleon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,482 ✭✭✭Kidchameleon


    They have legs I assume, you were correct.


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  • #12
    ThewhiteJesus
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,714 ✭✭✭ThewhiteJesus


    Kidchameleon wrote: »
    They have legs I assume, you were correct.

    Maybe she couldn’t walk too well after seeing the bf ?


  • #13
    Hannibal_Smith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,920 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    Mod note

    ThewhiteJesus your post falls below the standard expected here in PI. Please read the charter before posting here again.


  • #14
    qwerty13
    Registered Users Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭qwerty13


    babynice wrote: »
    A friend of mine has had some bother with her boyfriend in the last few days. He drinks a lot and was fighting with someone and sounds like a very depressed person in general from what I’ve heard.

    Today she must have went out to his home house with him, which is maybe 20 minutes from where we all live. I’m not sure how she got there. She doesn’t drive but I do. She asked me to drive to where she was and bring them home.

    She is still working in an essential service. Whereas I am working from home and self isolating. I refused to drive her. I was telling my boyfriend and another friend, and they said I should have helped her out. I felt that I should not have been asked considering I don’t know who she and her boyfriend have been in contact with.

    I feel guilty now but was I right to refuse her?


    She sounds like she could be under the influence of her BF: trying to ‘fix’ him. What’s your BF’s excuse tho? The regulations are v clear: no-one outside a normal household mixing. I’d be more annoyed with your BF tbh.

    Oh and you were completely right. And your BF and other friend are wrong. I can’t believe they’ve made you feel guilty over adherence to staying safe. And ‘staying safe’ isn’t even selfish - it’s also thinking of anyone else you might spread it to: family, health workers, supermarket workers etc.

    I think you did the right thing, and the conscious of consequences thing. So I applaud you for that.


  • #15
    babynice
    Registered Users Posts: 114 ✭✭babynice


    Thanks everyone for your replies. I definitely think now I made the right choice. I haven’t heard from my friend since but that’s her choice.

    As for my boyfriend he has since said it wasn’t worth the risk. I think he just doesn’t like to see people stuck.


  • #16
    JustAThought
    Registered Users Posts: 5,323 ✭✭✭JustAThought


    babynice wrote: »
    Thanks everyone for your replies. I definitely think now I made the right choice. I haven’t heard from my friend since but that’s her choice.

    As for my boyfriend he has since said it wasn’t worth the risk. I think he just doesn’t like to see people stuck.

    don’t be guilted into death. There are also other people, her parents, taxis or plain walking. She should not have gone there and she should not have then decided to come back and risk possibly cross infecting others in her home, and she definately should not have asked you. Well done on having the courage to stand your ground - people rely on others silence and on guilting them into doing what they don’t want to. She was not bleeding from the head at the side of the road on a dark night - she absolutely should not have put you in that position - shame on her - particularly as she is working in a high infection area and a high risk of being a contaminator/carrier.


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