Coronavirus house-share problem

Church on Tuesday · 25-03-2020 6:48pm #1

Hi all fairly small matter but not sure what to do and figured I'd ask here as well.

A housemate of mine has a FWB over a few nights back and most certainly will be over again.

I suggested to both housemates (both female) that we don't have any guests/visitors over going forward until this Covid craic is under wraps.

Was told he's a BF, I'm 90 per cent certain that's not the case. Which is fair enough.

Am I over reacting here? is this the norm to have partners, or whatever, over while this pandemic is going on around us?

Posted this in the Covid forum too but figured I'd get more balanced perspectives here, I'm not long here in this place and I don't want to come off as a prick because obviously we have to live together during this tricky time.

Thanks

Pencil Neck · 25-03-2020 6:50pm

What a FBW?

Plumbthedepths · 25-03-2020 6:52pm

Did you not get your question answered on the other thread you started about this ?

Kerry25x · 25-03-2020 6:52pm

Pencil Neck wrote: »

What a FBW?

Friend with benefits

Church on Tuesday · 25-03-2020 7:04pm

Plumbthedepths wrote: »

Did you not get your question answered on the other thread you started about this ?

Yeah and I've called her out on it and it's been more or less shrugged off.

Febreeze · 25-03-2020 7:47pm

See its people like your roommates that don't get it. We not on 100% lockdown like Italy but we are supposed to treat it like one to PREVENT it from furthering. Regardless if you, your roommate or FWB has it. It passes on just as quick as it can kill.

Personally I wouldn't be impressed at all. I would suggest staying in your room but considering you live there, pay the rent and supply your food, FWB person should have the cop on to hold their needs for a little longer or satisfy themselves for the time being. Call me dramatic but I've friends and granddparents I can't see or hug so this all sounds selfish in my book.

Call your roomate out on this. Make them realise that it's serious, if that doesn't work then they can explain why this "lockdown" goes on further.

Church on Tuesday · 25-03-2020 7:55pm

Febreeze wrote: »

See its people like your roommates that don't get it. We not on 100% lockdown like Italy but we are supposed to treat it like one to PREVENT it from furthering. Regardless if you, your roommate or FWB has it. It passes on just as quick as it can kill.

Personally I wouldn't be impressed at all. I would suggest staying in your room but considering you live there, pay the rent and supply your food, FWB person should have the cop on to hold their needs for a little longer or satisfy themselves for the time being. Call me dramatic but I've friends and granddparents I can't see or hug so this all sounds selfish in my book.

Call your roomate out on this. Make them realise that it's serious, if that doesn't work then they can explain why this "lockdown" goes on further.

Already have.

She was speaking with me earlier today about stuff and basically gave the line about how we're all human, I assume it was an effort to smooth things over.

Reckons the 'BF' is clean.

I responded with the fact that I'd love to have friends over( which I would) and in a subtle way to try knock some sense, but that it's not a wise thing to do right now.

She responded with "3 or 4 people would be fine".

I mean, this is what I have to work with here.

Caranica · 25-03-2020 7:59pm

This is what the Taoiseach said yesterday. See the point near the end about avoiding visits to houses you don't live in.

El_Duderino 09 · 25-03-2020 8:02pm

If she wants to see him she needs to move in with him and stay there u til this thing is over.

No contact with people outside those living together. That’s it. If she gets it, you all get it. You have absolutely no idea what yer man is up to and how seriously he takes the lockdown ( not very seriously given he’s coming to your house).

People are taking different lengths of time to figure out the gravity of the situation. Keep telling her it’s not on and eventually she’ll probably cop on to herself.

Church on Tuesday · 25-03-2020 8:08pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

If she wants to see him she needs to move in with him and stay there u til this thing is over.

No contact with people outside those living together. That’s it. If she gets it, you all get it. You have absolutely no idea what yer man is up to and how seriously he takes the lockdown ( not very seriously given he’s coming to your house).

People are taking different lengths of time to figure out the gravity of the situation. Keep telling her it’s not on and eventually she’ll probably cop on to herself.

If he's over again I'm coming down on this like a ton of bricks.

I don't want to come off like an asshole but this isn't the norm right now.

I doubt it will make any difference though.

El_Duderino 09 · 25-03-2020 9:45pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

If he's over again I'm coming down on this like a ton of bricks.

I don't want to come off like an asshole but this isn't the norm right now.

I doubt it will make any difference though.

If you and the other housemates stand together and tell him he’s not welcome and to fcuk off, then maybe they’ll both get the message.

Church on Tuesday · 25-03-2020 10:10pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

If you and the other housemates stand together and tell him he’s not welcome and to fcuk off, then maybe they’ll both get the message.

It's just me and the two girls.

LilacNails · 25-03-2020 11:35pm

Can u get the landlord involved? Maybe if he / she sent a text saying due to the current circumstances no guests are allowed over??

Porklife · 25-03-2020 11:41pm

Some people are so stupid and selfish. Unbelievable. I'd be so angry if my flatmate was carrying on like that. This is a collective effort to pull together by staying apart.
Tell her in no uncertain terms that you are not risking lives so she can get laid. What a clown.

Church on Tuesday · 26-03-2020 12:38am

LilacNails wrote: »

Can u get the landlord involved? Maybe if he / she sent a text saying due to the current circumstances no guests are allowed over??

She's basically friends with the LL and I rather we sort it out as adults amongst ourselves tbh.

It's bollocks this craic, I don't want any more hassle on top of what is already a **** situation as is.

PopTarts · 26-03-2020 2:02am

What does other housemate think of it all? Can you get her on side?

Church on Tuesday · 26-03-2020 2:05am

PopTarts wrote: »

What does other housemate think of it all? Can you get her on side?

She's pals with her and tends to go along with her.

LilacNails · 26-03-2020 9:40am

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

She's basically friends with the LL and I rather we sort it out as adults amongst ourselves tbh.

It's bollocks this craic, I don't want any more hassle on top of what is already a **** situation as is.

Feck..... Still I think it might be worth mentioning it to her, in a calm and cool way? .... Could u say u have a vulnerable friend or family member? Or make up u think u might have it yourself and frighten her and the bf??

I feel for u, I house share too....

LilacNails · 26-03-2020 9:42am

To also add.... Do u reckon your landlord might see ur point in regards to the bf coming around?? U have a lot of posters agreeing with u here, for all u know the landlord might as well.....

El_Duderino 09 · 26-03-2020 10:57am

LilacNails wrote: »

Feck..... Still I think it might be worth mentioning it to her, in a calm and cool way? .... Could u say u have a vulnerable friend or family member? Or make up u think u might have it yourself and frighten her and the bf??

I feel for u, I house share too....

Well, don't bother with that because (like everyone) the OP wont be seeing anyone except their housemates for the foreseeable future.

Apart from standing there and telling him to **** off home and telling her it's absolutely not on to bring someone into the house. It wouldn't matter even if he was her boyfriend or fiancé or husband or dad or brother or FWB. we're only supposed to be around people who we actually live with. NO GOING TO OTHER PEOPLE'S HOUSES

Church on Tuesday · 26-03-2020 11:47am

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Well, don't bother with that because (like everyone) the OP wont be seeing anyone except their housemates for the foreseeable future.

Apart from standing there and telling him to **** off home and telling her it's absolutely not on to bring someone into the house. It wouldn't matter even if he was her boyfriend or fiancé or husband or dad or brother or FWB. we're only supposed to be around people who we actually live with. NO GOING TO OTHER PEOPLE'S HOUSES

Honestly I'm just glad people are of the same mind as me.

It's a tricky situation and not like anything we have ever faced.

I've said my piece anyways and I'll wait and see how things pan out from here if he's down again, or anyone for that matter, I'll try the LL.

[Deleted User] · 26-03-2020 11:50am

i think people are overreacting about being outside, walking around, etc

but i think having people over visiting in a confined space like this is absolutely, 100% unacceptable

you're totally in the right to tell her to stop

El_Duderino 09 · 26-03-2020 12:27pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Honestly I'm just glad people are of the same mind as me.

It's a tricky situation and not like anything we have ever faced.

I've said my piece anyways and I'll wait and see how things pan out from here if he's down again, or anyone for that matter, I'll try the LL.

You’re right. You’re definitely right. People are realising what lockdown means at different rates.

I was invited to my friends house this weekend coming (were 5 people who are all separate and don’t see other people so I thought it was grand for us to meet up. Then the lockdown was announced and I still bought a bottle of vodka for going to their house this weekend. It was only when my mrs said we can’t go because we’re not supposed to meet anyone we don’t live with, that I realised “duh, of course we can’t go”.

She’ll get it eventually but she might not thank you for making her realise she was being a fool.

I don’t want to underestimate the awkwardness of this situation but I really think the only thing to do is tell her it’s serious, we can’t go to those people’s houses because it will spread the disease. I appreciate that you then have to live with this woman in a locked down house.

Tiddlypeeps · 26-03-2020 3:08pm

Unfortunately there isn't really much you can do. Even if you manage to stop him from entering the house it will just result in your housemate going visiting him instead, which results in pretty much the same increased risk of her bringing the virus into the house. It doesn't sound like you will be able to convince her to take this seriously until someone close to her dies from it.

lastusername · 29-03-2020 7:38pm

It's hard to imagine there are people out there who are as stupid as this. Maybe she really does just believe the risk is non-existent or very low, but that's not the point. OP, I would simply ask this person to leave your house if you see them there again, and that if they don't, you're calling the landlord or the guards.

That might sound extreme and it's up to you which one of those you choose, but basically this is your health versus the needs of your random housemate and her random friend!

You could also buy her a vibrator online, maybe that'll get the message across! Or maybe showing her a video of someone in hospital will do it :rolleyes:

afkasurfjunkie · 30-03-2020 9:32am

Next time he arrives make a point of using the word boyfriend a lot. If he is just a FWB he will panic and won’t come back.

El_Duderino 09 · 30-03-2020 9:37am

I wonder if the recent rule change has caused them to take it more seriously. People are taking it more seriously all the time. They'll see how other people are changing their behaviour, people slagging off those who go out unnecessarily etc.

Church on Tuesday · 30-03-2020 11:32am

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

I wonder if the recent rule change has caused them to take it more seriously. People are taking it more seriously all the time. They'll see how other people are changing their behaviour, people slagging off those who go out unnecessarily etc.

That's what I'm hoping for with the recent lock down procedures but who knows.

JeffKenna · 30-03-2020 1:21pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

That's what I'm hoping for with the recent lock down procedures but who knows.

If he has showed since Friday then you're well within you're rights to ask him to leave.

Church on Tuesday · 30-03-2020 1:48pm

JeffKenna wrote: »

If he has showed since Friday then you're well within you're rights to ask him to leave.

I have to be careful here as well though, things are only going to get harder as the weeks go by and already there's a bit of awkwardness, like we have to try to pull through together and I 'm trying to be sound.

If anybody else calls down I'll try the LL but honestly calling the Guards would prob be more effective at this stage.

Bobtheman · 08-04-2020 3:53pm

Id ask politely but really what power do you have? You could call the cops perhaps?

Coronavirus house-share problem

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