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The Off-Topic, insult, picture and everything else thread

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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,357 ✭✭✭Eru


    Deadwood your a ****ing genius you know that?


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,818 ✭✭✭donvito99


    Why can't they sticke a bit of elastic at the bottom of the fleece/patrol jacket/hi viz? It would make everything more comfortable and would look better.

    Also, do you decide what your going to wear before you go out on the beat? Eg, I always see the pair of guards with the exact same uniform on ie. hi viz and hi viz or fleece and fleece.

    ?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,057 ✭✭✭civdef


    Deadwood, will you sign a copy of your eventual book for me?
    Ireland's version of PC Copperfield.

    Many thanks.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,938 ✭✭✭deadwood


    Thanks civdef,

    000031590D2.jpg
    And tonight, Ladies and gentlemen we've got the usual line-up of RTE presenters, some second rate band and a headless baby story.

    But first, an author with an interesting tale of fast cars, slow horses, straight whiskey, crooked roads, and girls- and that's just the chapter about his mother!

    Afterhe retired from 30 years service in An Garda Síochána having reached the rank of, erm, Garda, Deadwood decided to put all his adventures on paper. That was the first two pages done, so he made the rest up!

    In a review, the Times, no less, said "this author is on a scale of 1 to 10" - praise indeed, you'll agree.

    He'll be right up after our quiz."


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,938 ✭✭✭deadwood


    donvito99 wrote: »
    Also, do you decide what your going to wear before you go out on the beat? Eg, I always see the pair of guards with the exact same uniform on ie. hi viz and hi viz or fleece and fleece.?

    "Whatcha wearin tonight, Nog?"

    "Dunno Deadwood, lets go with the community policing look. I hear Lugs Brannigan is making a comeback"

    "Cool, Nog. Tunic and shiny shoes, so. Karlito...i mean ERU won't like it, he spent a fortune on all that gear!"


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  • Registered Users Posts: 404 ✭✭ScubaDave




    Robbed from another part of Boards..... worth a look!


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,818 ✭✭✭donvito99


    They dont do it better any where else but Santry!


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,084 ✭✭✭eroo


    ScubaDave wrote: »
    Robbed from another part of Boards..... worth a look!

    Didn't know they had any footage of Det.Sgt Brannigan from way back then!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,357 ✭✭✭Eru


    ScubaDave wrote: »
    Robbed from another part of Boards

    You are not obliged to say anything unless you wish to do so.............:D


  • Registered Users Posts: 404 ✭✭ScubaDave


    Ehhhemmmm (clears throat and chooses spot on wall)

    NO COMMENT!!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,160 ✭✭✭TheNog


    Eru wrote: »
    You are not obliged to say anything unless you wish to do so.............:D

    your return of work must be well down :p


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,701 ✭✭✭Celticfire


    74%20Cops%20are%20Bored.jpg


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,084 ✭✭✭eroo


    Well if his pay is being frozen .. he might as well earn some extra cash from online poker! Multi-tasking..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,357 ✭✭✭Eru


    TheNog wrote: »
    your return of work must be well down :p

    By 4% in fact ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 651 ✭✭✭CLADA


    Got a laugh from this.

    Don't mess with our friends on the bargain alerts forum. :D

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055486096


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,084 ✭✭✭eroo


    'IRISH SPEED TRAPS'? Are Irish speed traps any different from the others!?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,357 ✭✭✭Eru


    Where they are is available on the Internet to read or download, the cameras are very visible and there are signs warning you in advance.

    Wheres the trap?


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,084 ✭✭✭eroo


    Eru wrote: »
    Wheres the Trap?
    Here:
    http://www.uefa.com/multimediafiles/photo/competitions/uefacup/362241_mediumsquare.jpg

    :rolleyes:
    (I'm going, I'm going!)


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,938 ✭✭✭deadwood


    I remember a few years ago, one of these sites was launched to the outrage of some members on the public. Needless to say, they bypassed the Minister for Justice, RSA, Commissioner and T.D.'s and went to the real mover and shaker - they "Talked to Joe!"

    Anyway, the person who ran the site was on defending it. When someone from the Press office came on, he roundly welcomed the site as this meant this would make people drive more carefully at these locations so the site was doing the guards work for them - saving lives!

    I know of some (un?)scrupulous guards who pile on loctions to this site too!


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,818 ✭✭✭donvito99


    Metman:

    article-1040561-0223812200000578-560_306x423.jpg


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,155 ✭✭✭metman




  • Registered Users Posts: 5,818 ✭✭✭donvito99


    'The' Police...LOL


  • Registered Users Posts: 219 ✭✭daithip


    Does anyone recognise themselves here???:P


    4 STAGES OF POLICING


    1.FASCINATION STAGE
    Years 1 – 4


    For most officers, this is their first time outside
    of the middle class bubble. They have never seen a dead body, never seen life threatening injuries, never dealt with a family
    disturbance, never witnessed the **** some
    people call "home life", and never really
    understood the phrase "Man's Inhumanity To Man" until now. Everything is new to them. You can identify them by the amount of fancy new equipment they carry. A ten billion candlelight power torch, pens that write in the rain, a ballistic vest rated to stop tomahawk missiles, and an equipment bag large enough to house a squad of marines.
    They love it, they show up
    early for their shift. They work way past the
    end of their shift without even considering an
    O/T slip. They believe rank within the job is
    based only on ability and those in the upper
    ranks got there by knowledge and skill in police work only. They believe everyone is competent, everyone is on the same page and working towards the same high minded goals. When they finally go
    home to their significant other, they tell them
    everything they did and saw. Some of the more
    "eaten up" purchase a police scanner so they can hear the radio calls while at home.

    2.HOSTILITY STAGE
    Years 5 – 6


    They now show up for work about 2 minutes before their shift, and they are hiding about 30 minutes before end of the shift, writing reports
    so they can just throw them in the sergeant's
    in-box and leave ASAP. They have to get to their second job to earn money to pay for the divorce that is pending. They gripe about everything, drink excessively, chase women, and hate the public, politicians, media, etc. They feel they
    have more in common with the hookers, thieves, druggies, etc. but hate them too.
    Those pens that write in the rain are no longer
    needed. Writing traffic tickets can be a
    lot more trouble than they are worth, even on a
    nice day.
    To write one, or to write anything
    while standing in the rain, is a sure sign of an
    insane person. Their spouse is no longer
    interested in hearing about all the gore and
    heartache. They get the "you spend more time
    with the cops than you do with me" speech.




    3. SUPERIORITY STAGE
    Years 7 – 15


    This is when cops are at their best... They have
    survived changes in administration. They know
    how the political game is played, both inside
    and outside the job. They know who they can
    trust and who they can't. They have select
    friends within the job, and stay away, as best
    they can, from the nuts and boot-lickers. They
    know the legal system, the judges, prosecutors,
    defence solicitors, etc. They know how to
    testify and put a good case together. They are
    usually the ones that the gaffers turn to when
    there is some clandestine request or sensitive
    operation that needs to be done right. These
    cops are still physically fit and can handle
    themselves on the street. They will stay around
    the station when needed, but have other
    commitments, such as a second spouse, a second
    girlfriend (sometimes both), and most of their
    friends are non job.


    4. ACCEPTANCE STAGE
    Years 16 - ????


    Now the cops have a single objective... retirement
    and pension. Nothing is going to come between
    them and their monthly payslip. The boss, the
    force, the idiots around the station, and the
    creeps on the street can all go to hell,
    because they could come between them and
    "sitting on the beach". There is no topic of
    discussion that can't somehow lead back to
    retirement issues. These guys are usually
    sergeants, detectives, scenes of crime officers,
    community, or some other post where they will
    not be endangered. They especially don't want
    some young stupid cop getting them sued, fired,
    killed, or anything else causing them to lose
    their "beach time". They spend a lot of time
    having coffee, hanging around the station, and
    looking at brochures of things they want to do
    in retirement.

    The retired cop usually dies within five years of
    retirement, saving the force a bunch of money.
    Of course, nothing is ever 100% true, but if you
    are a cop, were a cop, know a cop, then you will
    certainly recognize some of the above
    statements!!!!


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,084 ✭✭✭eroo


    Daithip, you should have a look through this thread before posting! :P

    One of metman's earlier posts;
    policebs30b.jpg

    Thing is, I think that cop may just be Gerald McCarthy..


  • Registered Users Posts: 219 ✭✭daithip


    Thanks eroo, missed that one!


  • Registered Users Posts: 15,127 ✭✭✭✭kerry4sam


    A guy being tasered on a lawnmower for drink-driving ... what would you have done? :)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-z44dVBU64

    Now I wouldn't mind giving this guy a touch of the taser when passing :

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHCxdlZ7G18


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 651 ✭✭✭CLADA


    eroo wrote: »
    Daithip, you should have a look through this thread before posting! :P

    One of metman's earlier posts;


    ehem :mad:


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,084 ✭✭✭eroo


    CLADA wrote: »
    ehem :mad:

    See the pic in my post, that was originally posted by metman.. hence the '';''.

    I know you posted the other thing originally CLADA..;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,155 ✭✭✭metman


    Ah the old days of innocence and Ladybird books....

    police_1.jpg
    police_3.jpg
    police_4.jpg
    ppolice_6.jpg
    police_7.jpg
    police_8.jpg
    police_10.jpg
    police_11.jpg
    police_12.jpg
    police_15.jpg

    Also in the same series:
    ladybirdbook002.jpgbuilder.jpgladybirdbook.jpgladybirdbook004.jpg


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭Trojan911


    metman wrote: »
    Ah the old days of innocence and Ladybird books....

    Pure class :D:D


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