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Maths jokes!

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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,806 ✭✭✭ Marcus Uptight Valley


    Sean_K wrote: »
    10 is just a binomial coefficient

    So I was not even in the right branch of maths. What was this type of thing called.

    (2 3 4) x (1 8 7)
    (1 2 8) x (8 9 1) = ?
    (1 2 9) x (9 0 1)


  • Posts: 4,630 ✭✭✭[Deleted User]


    So I was not even in the right branch of maths. What was this type of thing called.

    (2 3 4) x (1 8 7)
    (1 2 8) x (8 9 1) = ?
    (1 2 9) x (9 0 1)

    Linear algebra, specifically matrices.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,151 ✭✭✭Thomas_S_Hunterson


    So I was not even in the right branch of maths. What was this type of thing called.

    (2 3 4) x (1 8 7)
    (1 2 8) x (8 9 1) = ?
    (1 2 9) x (9 0 1)

    Looks like you mean multiplication on matrices.

    /edit: damn too slow :p


  • Registered Users Posts: 48 timbrophy


    What is 1?

    Tim


  • Registered Users Posts: 16,102 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    timbrophy wrote: »
    What is 1?

    Tim

    I believe it's Legendre's constant.

    Full list


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  • Registered Users Posts: 113 ✭✭Dutch_Druid


    centrifugal_force.gif

    ww.xkcd.com ftw


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,595 ✭✭✭MathsManiac


    Pherekydes wrote: »
    I want one of those! :D

    Crikey; took more clicks to find than it ought to! Looks like you can get them here:
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=19677785


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,148 ✭✭✭✭KnifeWRENCH


    A project I had to do on fractals recently inspired this little "gem" ;)

    Why doesn't Sierpinski ever lend his carpet to Cantor?
    If he did, it would be full of dust.

    /gets coat.


  • Registered Users Posts: 234 ✭✭Heggy


    Read this one somewhere,

    "What did Euler find in the toilet?
    Natural Log!"

    Anyway, you guys should post an actual link to xkcd because there is hover text as well. :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 817 ✭✭✭dafunk


    Thank you for all the hilarity! Just discovered both this forum and this thread and I've laughed my ass off for ages with all those jokes!

    One of my favourite Cyanide and Happiness:


    rprofessor.jpg


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 23 Lovecat


    An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician asks the barman for a pint. The second one asks for half a pint. The third one asks for a quarter of a pint, the fourth for 1/8th, the fifth for 1/16th, the sixth for 1/32nd, etc, etc, etc. The barman says "You're all idiots", pours two pints and walks away.


  • Registered Users Posts: 817 ✭✭✭dafunk


    Heheh


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,149 ✭✭✭ZorbaTehZ


    A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician are given the job of moving a box of ball bearings from one table to another on on the opposite side of a room.

    The physicist creates a ramp between the two tables and imparts just enough kinetic energy to move each ball to the new table.

    The engineer grabs the box and tries hauling it over to the new table, but it's too heavy. About half way across he drops the box. He spends the next hour collecting ball bearings from the floor and putting them on the new table.

    The mathematician, having observed the previous two, pushes his box off the table onto the floor and says, "I have reduced the problem to a previously solved one."


    An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician and a statistician all stay at a hotel.

    Late that night, the engineer wakes up to find his trash can on fire. He grabs a huge bucket of water and pours it over the fire. Then he grabs a second bucket of water and pours it over the ashes, just to be safe.

    The physicist also wakes up to find that his thrash can is on fire. Hastily grabbing a calculator and come paper, he calculates the exact amount of water necessary to put out the fire. He takes this amount from the tap, extinguishes the fire, then goes back to sleep.

    The mathematician wakes up to find his trash can ablaze as well. He also does the calculations for the exact amount necessary to put out the fire, and then wakes up the physicist and engineer and has them put it out for him.

    The statistician continues to set people's trash cans on fire as he needs a larger sample size.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 134 ✭✭Kareir


    Lovecat wrote: »
    An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician asks the barman for a pint. The second one asks for half a pint. The third one asks for a quarter of a pint, the fourth for 1/8th, the fifth for 1/16th, the sixth for 1/32nd, etc, etc, etc. The barman says "You're all idiots", pours two pints and walks away.

    Ah, the pints are always good down at the Rhymann Zeta... (That IS the one, right? :P)


    _Kar


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,674 ✭✭✭Faith+1


    As said in Anchorman when referring to Sex Panther by Odeon.

    "They did surveys you know?, 60% of the time it works everytime":confused::confused:

    How does that work!!?


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,143 ✭✭✭locum-motion


    It's a lifetime ambition of mine
    a new value for Pi to assign.
    I would set it at three
    for it's simpler, you see,
    than 3.14159.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 217 ✭✭nVid


    What did the computer engineering student say to the computing student?
    You computer engineer wannabe

    If I were a nerd, I would be the alphanerd.

    DO IT TILL IT MHZ


  • Registered Users Posts: 17,727 ✭✭✭✭Sherifu


    54348c294bdbd8df7b3be30b659a6eb8.jpg


  • Registered Users Posts: 46 eamonnf


    daveangel wrote: »
    a few more chat up lines for the girls in the maths class...

    1. On a score of 1 to 2, I'd give you 1
    2. On a score of 1 to 5, you get a phwoar


    How about - on a score of 1 to 2, I'd give you 1, twice!!:D


  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators Posts: 8,064 Mod ✭✭✭✭Jonathan


    Sherifu wrote: »
    54348c294bdbd8df7b3be30b659a6eb8.jpg
    Another luke surl fan?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 32,417 ✭✭✭✭watty




  • Registered Users Posts: 35 Frank my Boy


    Pick up line,
    You're like sin squared theta and I'm like cos squared theta because together we become 1.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4 jack_reacher


    .

    Only 18 months late but they're brilliant:D

    (Edit:the originals post showed links. Just after going through most of this thread-hilarious but I think the binary jokes went over my head!)


  • Registered Users Posts: 12,948 ✭✭✭✭bnt


    From Mathematically Correct: instructions on how to make a 2-twist Möbius Bagel:

    bagel7.jpg

    (Link from Phil Plait, who says "But I don’t think it would satisfy my hunger. You can only schmeer one side!") :cool:

    From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a bitch’.

    — Edgar Mitchell, Apollo 14 Astronaut



  • Registered Users Posts: 14,538 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    I don't know if this has been posted before because 115 posts into two minutes doesn't go right now, so.

    Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
    He worked it out with a pencil...


  • Registered Users Posts: 193 ✭✭Marvinthefish


    chickenstats.jpg


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 125 ✭✭Azelfafage


    In Ireland a square is legally a circle.

    On the windscreen of your car there is a square Insurance Disc. (Disk)

    The Irish law says "The Disk shall be Square.".

    How clever is that?

    .


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,269 ✭✭✭bazza1


    fx = x(1+x) walks into a hotel bar. The barman says "Sorry, we dont cater for functions here)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5 Bog_Warrior


    Not purely mathematical but here goes.......



    OPTIMIST: The glass is half full.

    PESSIMIST: The glass is half empty.

    ENGINEER: The glass is twice the size it needs to be.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,745 ✭✭✭Eliot Rosewater


    Heard this anecdote tonight. It was told to a crowd of 50 maths dept students and lecturers and very few people got it, so Ill include an explanation at the end!


    A teacher is teaching a class multiplication. He says:
    "If you multiply a positive by a negative you get negative.
    If you multiply a negative by a positive you get negative.
    If you multiply a negative by a negative you get positive.
    But if you multiply a positive by a positive you dont get a negative."

    A student at the back of the class shouts (Irish accent) "You do, yeah!"






    Explanation:
    What the student says is two positives "You do" and "yeah" however hes being sarcastic and so what he is saying is negative.

    How poor is that? :D


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