Writing a letter 37 years later

[Deleted User] · 08-05-2021 4:44pm

Andrea B. wrote: »

Would you be ok with every possible outcome?
Are there outcomes you could regret?
If (as a wild example), the letter was straw that broke a camel's back and they were found dead clutching letter? You would be still ok?
Just saying, as your likely preferred outcome of sending letter is to make someone (justifiably,) feel ****e.

As in they had a heart attack from reading a letter about their own actions?

johnmck · 08-05-2021 6:00pm

Hey, look , I don't want people fighting over what I will or will not do. Don't let this create division between all of you seem to be reasonable people. My leg hasn't been feeling the best the past couple of weeks and it has been annoying me. I'm just ticked off about it. That something was done to me and it's still affecting my life so long afterwards.

I'm going to speak to my counsellor again about it. Somewhere in the middle I will find resolution to this.

[Deleted User] · 08-05-2021 6:09pm

johnmck wrote: »

Hey, look , I don't want people fighting over what I will or will not do. Don't let this create division between all of you seem to be reasonable people. My leg hasn't been feeling the best the past couple of weeks and it has been annoying me. I'm just ticked off about it. That something was done to me and it's still affecting my life so long afterwards.

I'm going to speak to my counsellor again about it. Somewhere in the middle I will find resolution to this.

Your foot would feel a lot better for kicking an old driver firmly up the hole me thinks.

Sunny Disposition · 08-05-2021 8:55pm

I wouldn’t agree with writing the letter anonymously.
Why not go to the police OP, tell them everything you know and let them take it from there?

Dav010 · 08-05-2021 8:59pm

Sunny Disposition wrote: »

Why not go to the police OP, tell them everything you know and let them take it from there?

37 years later?

lawred2 · 08-05-2021 9:07pm

beauf wrote: »

Obviously there's all sorts of wrong with that the driver did. But can he be solely responsible for an unsupervised 4yr old playing in a street, where cars were known to speed on.

I'd be interested in hearing what the legal angle of this is.

Yes.

Sunny Disposition · 08-05-2021 9:08pm

Dav010 wrote: »

37 years later?

It can’t be done any earlier than now. If that is done than there is really nothing more that can be done by the OP to get justice. He’ll have gone through the appropriate channels.
It will result in the offender being confronted by the authorities and also being confronted by his past.

johnmck · 08-05-2021 9:12pm

Sunny Disposition wrote: »

It can’t be done any earlier than now. If that is done than there is really nothing more that can be done by the OP to get justice. He’ll have gone through the appropriate channels.
It will result in the offender being confronted by the authorities and also being confronted by his past.

I asked a solicitor about it some years ago when I was talking to them about another matter. Too much time had passed

[Deleted User] · 08-05-2021 9:13pm

Sunny Disposition wrote: »

It can’t be done any earlier than now. If that is done than there is really nothing more that can be done by the OP to get justice. He’ll have gone through the appropriate channels.
It will result in the offender being confronted by the authorities and also being confronted by his past.

For what? dangerous driving and leaving the scene? Not a hope

Dav010 · 08-05-2021 9:14pm

Sunny Disposition wrote: »

It can’t be done any earlier than now. If that is done than there is really nothing more that can be done by the OP to get justice. He’ll have gone through the appropriate channels.
It will result in the offender being confronted by the authorities and also being confronted by his past.

Confronted by the memory of a 4 yr old, playing on a road, deciding after an accident not to tell his parents based on the promise of a toy, who then hobbled in a cast to a neighbours house to demand payment of the bribe/toy, who then remembered the incident after 37 yrs? Seriously?

Mad_maxx · 08-05-2021 9:49pm

lets stick to the facts of what the OP originally proposed doing

he did not suggest he wanted to go to the guards so why discuss doing that ?

if the OP decides to take a step back for now but retain the possibility of writing to the offender , i think thats a reasonable position , like i said earlier , as long as the OP has zero doubts as to the identity of the person who did this , I see little wrong with contacting this person in order to get closure

closure is hugely important after a traumatic event

johnmck · 09-05-2021 2:01am

Dav010 wrote: »

Confronted by the memory of a 4 yr old, playing on a road, deciding after an accident not to tell his parents based on the promise of a toy, who then hobbled in a cast to a neighbours house to demand payment of the bribe/toy, who then remembered the incident after 37 yrs? Seriously?

Keep drinking the soy lattes

johnmck · 09-05-2021 2:02am

Mad_maxx wrote: »

lets stick to the facts of what the OP originally proposed doing

he did not suggest he wanted to go to the guards so why discuss doing that ?

if the OP decides to take a step back for now but retain the possibility of writing to the offender , i think thats a reasonable position , like i said earlier , as long as the OP has zero doubts as to the identity of the person who did this , I see little wrong with contacting this person in order to get closure

closure is hugely important after a traumatic event

Zero doubts , unlike Mr South park Seriouusssslyyyy Dave

Dav010 · 09-05-2021 8:51am

johnmck wrote: »

Keep drinking the soy lattes

johnmck wrote: »

Zero doubts , unlike Mr South park Seriouusssslyyyy Dave

I have no idea what this means.

Mad_maxx · 09-05-2021 10:08am

johnmck wrote: »

Zero doubts , unlike Mr South park Seriouusssslyyyy Dave

Then I see nothing wrong with writing to this individual

Mimon · 09-05-2021 10:19am

Niner leprauchan wrote: »

The legal angle is speeding and leaving the scene.

"Sort of wrong"? He left s child injured on the street after hitting him!

I don't think he is disputing this but I think is making the point that the parents have to bear some responsibility for allowing a four year old to play near a road unsupervised.

I see it in my estate all the time, children as young as 3/4 out on the road, have had some walk out between cars into my path not looking at all. I obviously crawl but you see some people belting it around them.

landofthetree · 09-05-2021 10:22am

Personally Id go to the Gardai. For a serious incident like that there is no statue of limitations?

Sunny Disposition · 10-05-2021 12:18am

Yeah, I’d be minded to go to the Gardai or confront him directly not anonymously. Am thinking he’ll know who perfectly well who the letter is from anyway.

johnmck · 11-05-2021 12:42am

Mimon wrote: »

I don't think he is disputing this but I think is making the point that the parents have to bear some responsibility for allowing a four year old to play near a road unsupervised.

I see it in my estate all the time, children as young as 3/4 out on the road, have had some walk out between cars into my path not looking at all. I obviously crawl but you see some people belting it around them.

Both my parents are now dead

pah · 11-05-2021 12:54am

Weird

road_high · 11-05-2021 1:00am

Why would you not go the Gardai about this?

qwerty13 · 11-05-2021 6:29am

OP, I think you’re looking for ‘closure’ on something that’s simply not possible. You were very, very young. I’m not sure that you can wholly rely on your recollection.

I know I keep coming back to this, but what do you want? Money? An admission of guilt? An apology that your leg never served you as well as it should have? Do you know how any of those things would make you feel better, or less bitter?

I’m struggling to understand what you want to get from delivering this letter, and whether it’s not a long term issue that would be far better addressed by therapy.

Writing a letter 37 years later

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