Surprise for a small Wedding

swine · 04-04-2021 3:36am #1

Hi,

I'm a witness for a small wedding and looking for any suggestions to make the day special.

Thanks!

qwerty13 · 04-04-2021 3:39am

I don’t mean to be negative, but don’t make your suggestion a surprise involving an additional person - that could be very awkward, given current and foreseeable future restrictions

NSAman · 04-04-2021 3:53am

100 iPads set up with all those who couldn’t attend in person looking on?

woodchuck · 04-04-2021 9:56am

A video with messages from everyone who they would've liked to be there would be lovely.

If they're getting married soon and there's no chance of a honeymoon straight afterwards (i.e. no intercounty travel) then you could consider doing something nice for the days afterwards to keep their spirits up. E.g. have afternoon tea delivered to them with prosecco and balloons to congratulate them.

looksee · 04-04-2021 10:00am

Lovely suggestions, but don't make it too much of a surprise, it would be a pity if you worked out some complicated recording stuff only to find out the couple had already done the same.

swine · 04-04-2021 11:50pm

Thanks all for the suggestions - I should have specified it is in the next 2 weeks. I'm trying to think of any small things I could do to decorate the room for a civil ceremony or make it more special. Thanks again!

woodchuck · 05-04-2021 2:56pm

swine wrote: »

Thanks all for the suggestions - I should have specified it is in the next 2 weeks. I'm trying to think of any small things I could do to decorate the room for a civil ceremony or make it more special. Thanks again!

I wouldn't try to do anything in relation to the ceremony itself or decorating the room. Presumably they have all those details organised already and any surprises could actually throw everything off.

Try to help build up the excitement. Just chat about the wedding in general, ask how they're getting on with the final arrangements etc. Maybe start a daily countdown when they're a week out - I did something like this a few months ago. Just a countdown gif each day on WhatsApp! It's only a silly thing, but they said afterwards they really liked it. It helps to know that someone else is thinking about you and looking forward to the day.

Ask if there's anything you can do to help - if they say no, emphasis that you're there to lend a hand if they think of anything at all (personally I hate asking for help, so it would be great to know that there's a genuine offer!).

Have they had any sort of virtual hen or stag party? If not, you could organise something like that.

I think the day itself should feel special enough. It's the build up that has been destroyed by Covid. So I'd focus on that more than anything else.

swine · 06-04-2021 1:11am

woodchuck wrote: »

I wouldn't try to do anything in relation to the ceremony itself or decorating the room. Presumably they have all those details organised already and any surprises could actually throw everything off.

Try to help build up the excitement. Just chat about the wedding in general, ask how they're getting on with the final arrangements etc. Maybe start a daily countdown when they're a week out - I did something like this a few months ago. Just a countdown gif each day on WhatsApp! It's only a silly thing, but they said afterwards they really liked it. It helps to know that someone else is thinking about you and looking forward to the day.

Ask if there's anything you can do to help - if they say no, emphasis that you're there to lend a hand if they think of anything at all (personally I hate asking for help, so it would be great to know that there's a genuine offer!).

Have they had any sort of virtual hen or stag party? If not, you could organise something like that.

I think the day itself should feel special enough. It's the build up that has been destroyed by Covid. So I'd focus on that more than anything else.

Thanks for the advice. Both the venue and guestlist has changed with less than 2 weeks to go and I thought since there's no best man / bridesmaid roles with the reduced numbers perhaps it fell on a witness to make it special. There's no music planned so after checking with them I'm bringing a speaker and playlist. I thought about trying to order some confetti, I've no idea if venues supply this .

Have they had any sort of virtual hen or stag party? If not, you could organise something like that.

They are an older couple so were not interested in stags/hens. I like the video idea but am not sure if there is enough time to get messages. It only just dawned on me that maybe there is more than just doing what I'm asked in lieu of bridesmaid / best man.

But perhaps I just need to let them ask for what's needed. I've let them know I'm free for whatever's needed

woodchuck · 06-04-2021 9:44am

Just on the confetti, I'd check with venue if it's allowed. Our venue actually doesn't allow confetti (major hassle to clean up afterwards between wooden floorboards).

Like you said, I think the best thing to do is ask what's needed! Particularly if they're trying to reorganise at short notice.

You could also look up as many photos as possible of the ceremony room (e.g. on social media) to see if you can come up with any ideas that you think they might like. Only if you have a plan of how to execute it though! There's no point in suggesting a beautiful flower arch if you've no idea where to source it or how much it would cost. Think easier DIY jobs. Like small lanterns or candles for the edge of the aisle or to decorate the room (although they likely already have whatever props they need from their original plan that they can adapt to the new venue).

You sound like a great friend btw

Ckendrick · 09-04-2021 7:26pm

Hardly anywhere allows confetti any more. It looks as if posters are pouring cold water on your enthusiasm but wedding day “surprises” mightn’t necessarily be welcome.

[Deleted User] · 09-04-2021 7:33pm

swine wrote: »

Thanks for the advice. Both the venue and guestlist has changed with less than 2 weeks to go and I thought since there's no best man / bridesmaid roles with the reduced numbers perhaps it fell on a witness to make it special. There's no music planned so after checking with them I'm bringing a speaker and playlist. I thought about trying to order some confetti, I've no idea if venues supply this .

Have they had any sort of virtual hen or stag party? If not, you could organise something like that.

They are an older couple so were not interested in stags/hens. I like the video idea but am not sure if there is enough time to get messages. It only just dawned on me that maybe there is more than just doing what I'm asked in lieu of bridesmaid / best man.

But perhaps I just need to let them ask for what's needed. I've let them know I'm free for whatever's needed

Only scanned the chats so far but how about getting in touch with all of those close and dear to the couple and for them to send on a 10 X 8 photo (hard copy) - then simply post all the photos on the wall where the ceremony is taking place (assuming you're allowed to do this) or else ask them to send framed photos (cheap as chips only frames) to you and you lay them out on chairs or where ever you can.

rainbowtrout · 18-04-2021 7:13pm

Why not just ask the couple if there is anything you can do to help with the organisation rather than trying to plan a surprise that they might not want? People are particular about weddings and might not welcome what you plan however well intended it might be.

lazygal · 19-04-2021 1:31pm

rainbowtrout wrote: »

Why not just ask the couple if there is anything you can do to help with the organisation rather than trying to plan a surprise that they might not want? People are particular about weddings and might not welcome what you plan however well intended it might be.

I'd have absolutely hated someone planning a surprise for us. We planned the day we wanted and we wouldn't have appreciated someone feeling like they had to improve it for us with a surprise.

swine · 19-04-2021 4:59pm

Thanks for all the advice. I somewhat panicked with 2 weeks to go, thinking that since there was no bridesmaids/best man, that this would fall on the witnesses. Added with the wedding being downsized due to covid restrictions, I thought there was a bigger emphasis on trying it make it memorable.

The wedding has since happened and was perfect. I didn't do anything based on the suggestions above. I was already asking the couple if I could help but felt like I wasn't doing enough (hence the thread). Surprise was probably a poor phrasing. Anyway, thanks again for the suggestions.

Ckendrick · 19-04-2021 5:11pm

lazygal wrote: »

I'd have absolutely hated someone planning a surprise for us. We planned the day we wanted and we wouldn't have appreciated someone feeling like they had to improve it for us with a surprise.

Absolutely. One persons “surprise!” is another persons nightmare come to fruition almost every single time. The fact that the intention was wholeheartedly good and kind wouldn’t compensate for the let down id feel if my plans were scuppered by somebody else’s good intentions.

Surprise for a small Wedding

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