Puppy anxiety

RunningFlyer · 08-04-2021 10:50am #1

Hi

We have a 5-month male Cocker Spaniel and are struggling with trying to control his anxiety whenever we leave him.

He has always been a bit of a cryer when we put him to bed at nighttime and in the morning when he wakes up, but it has gotten much worse since my partner returned to work 2 weeks ago. I think the pup has a closer bond to her than me, (eg. if she tries to put him to bed he will get very upset so as a result I always put him to bed.). He also whines to get let back indoors after being in the garden etc.

He cries when he wakes up approx 0630 so I usually go down to let him out for the toilet, and then try go back to bed before my partner gets up (0730). If I don't get up and try wait until 0730 he will cry for that period also. She will usually go down and make a tea and breakfast before returning upstairs to shower, dress etc. During this time, the dog remains at the bottom of the stairs (we have a stair-gate) whining and crying loudly. We try to ignore him but it is very prolonged and we are concerned about noise for neighbours etc.

He usually sleeps in a crate but we have recently left it open to allow him to roam as during the day he usually sleeps in the hallway, which is where he tends to sleep at night now also.

It's starting to affect us as it's the first thing we hear on a daily basis which sets us up a bit stressed. I don't really know how to try resolve it - I am usually at home during the day and anytime I leave him completely on his own I will give him a cong, dental stick or long-lasting treat to keep him busy, and he seems to be OK with that (we have a doggy cam to check up on him).

I'm just wondering if there's any advice from anyone who had similar with their pup? I've searched around but the only thing I've really seen is 'ignore the cries'.

DBB · 08-04-2021 9:21pm

Hi op,
Separation from owners is a process that has probably been historically very underrated, and our traditional approaches to getting pups used to solitude have probably caused a lot of issues for dogs, as it did for human infants too! Solitude is, biologically speaking, a real issue for an animal that's programmed to live in social groups.
Leaving them to cry it out is now known to cause problems, because it creates anxiety, distress, and a strong negative association with solitude. The anxiety leads to noisiness (as they attempt to initiate communication), destructiveness (as a self-calming behaviour), peeing and pooping indoors (a physiological response to stress). Research shows that 75% of dogs suffer from some level of separation distress.
The secret is to get pups very, very gradually used to being alone. That means bringing them into your bedroom at night, and gradually moving them out of the bedroom, bit by bit over weeks, as the youngster has learned to gradually spend time alone happily and confidently.
Unfortunately op, your pup has learned that night time means alone time that he hasn't been acclimated to... it's just too much for him, and it's not going to get any better until you go back to basics with him.
You need to be with him at night! For now!
A crate or small playpen is a great bit of gear for this job, starting off with it near the bed, so you can reach out to him and soothe him if he gets unsettled. As he gradually loses that anxiety over time, he'll sleep soundly, and so will you. The world will seem a better place when you're getting some decent sleep:)
You can start to move the crate/pen a bit at a time once he's nice and settled (this time will vary between dogs... probably days, or a week or 2), until he's outside your room, and perfectly happy at that level. Then gradually, because he's now comfortable and confident about sleeping alone, you can move him to wherever he is to sleep long-term.
How does that sound?

jrosen · 08-04-2021 9:28pm

Echo what was said above. We took our little guy into our bedroom initially in a penn, then after about a week moved him out of the room. He kept a pj top belonging to me in his bed, one which I had worn. We found he was better within the penn than out of the penn. We also worked up to leaving him alone. 20 mins at a time, with a kong or a favorite toy.

Sounds like you will have to go back to the beginning and start slowly building up to leaving him alone.

Darc19 · 08-04-2021 9:29pm

100% agree with above. It's in a way the opposite of what you would think.

But in a way similar to a baby.

Build the bond which builds trust and then gradually wean the dog off to become more independent.

It can take a few months to get to the stage you want, but it's worth it.

And when leaving the house make absolutely no fuss whatsoever. And the same when you return. No saying goodbye and no saying "I'm back"

Start with 15-20min and build it up. You should get to about 3-4 hours (a night out) without causing any stress.

Darc19 · 08-04-2021 9:31pm

One bit of warning - if you allow them sleep on the bed it's very difficult to get them to move.

Solution is to buy a super-king 6' bed.

YoshiReturns · 08-04-2021 9:36pm

All the poor dogs are going to go crazy if/when their owners return to work. Lots of doggie daycare opportunities methinks. Might do that instead of returning to the office and commute!

VonVix · 08-04-2021 10:00pm

DBB wrote: »

Hi op,
Separation from owners is a process that has probably been historically very underrated, and our traditional approaches to getting pups used to solitude have probably caused a lot of issues for dogs, as it did for human infants too! Solitude is, biologically speaking, a real issue for an animal that's programmed to live in social groups.
Leaving them to cry it out is now known to cause problems, because it creates anxiety, distress, and a strong negative association with solitude. The anxiety leads to noisiness (as they attempt to initiate communication), destructiveness (as a self-calming behaviour), peeing and pooping indoors (a physiological response to stress). Research shows that 75% of dogs suffer from some level of separation distress.
The secret is to get pups very, very gradually used to being alone. That means bringing them into your bedroom at night, and gradually moving them out of the bedroom, bit by bit over weeks, as the youngster has learned to gradually spend time alone happily and confidently.
Unfortunately op, your pup has learned that night time means alone time that he hasn't been acclimated to... it's just too much for him, and it's not going to get any better until you go back to basics with him.
You need to be with him at night! For now!
A crate or small playpen is a great bit of gear for this job, starting off with it near the bed, so you can reach out to him and soothe him if he gets unsettled. As he gradually loses that anxiety over time, he'll sleep soundly, and so will you. The world will seem a better place when you're getting some decent sleep:)
You can start to move the crate/pen a bit at a time once he's nice and settled (this time will vary between dogs... probably days, or a week or 2), until he's outside your room, and perfectly happy at that level. Then gradually, because he's now comfortable and confident about sleeping alone, you can move him to wherever he is to sleep long-term.
How does that sound?

This, 100%, this was how I raised my German Shepherd, he was stuck to me like glue for the first 6 months with me, I was super conscious of this as I'm aware this breed can be quite anxious without their human in sight. As an adult he is completely relaxed when I'm away from him, he searches for me naturally but it's not obsessive and he's not destructive about it, he always settles as he's confident to know I will return.

It's such a valuable thing to be there for a puppy during such a delicate part of their life. It makes such a difference to them as an adult to feel the security when they are young.

RunningFlyer · 08-04-2021 10:43pm

Thank you all for the responses.

He has always slept downstairs in the crate since we brought him home in January - he has improved especially putting him down to bed but still cries in the morning. Will he be more disorientated if we now take him up to the bedroom/just outside? I guess we will try it however to see the difference.

I guess we felt a bit like we needed to go back to the beginning as he has started to revert to bad habits/manners despite some good behaviour training we had taught him - I guess this is just part of his phase of growing up and learning?

He’s also developed a habit of barking at nothing or very little! Any tips on the best way to approach this? I don’t want to give a treat to distract him incase he thinks it’s good behaviour but also don’t want him to continue unabated!?

Thanks folks - I know I might sound naive but we put a lot of thought and preparation into getting him (planned well before COVID) but guess just panicking a bit now he is not as settled as we thought he may have been by now!

Puppy anxiety

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