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Why is the line between flirting and being friendly so thin for many women?

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  • Registered Users Posts: 16,124 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    A charity that benefits financially from pumping the sexual assault numbers as high as possible? Seems legit. Not saying sexual assault isn't a huge problem - but every time some high profile individual is accused - very dubiously - I'm not talking about the Bill Cosbys or Jimmy Savilles, a good percentage of the accusations are utterly absurd.

    So you're argument against a statistic is that a charity that deals with sexual assaults inflates the stats to get more money. Any evidence of this fraud? Of course not. You're just throwing sh1t out there.

    And you're evidence of false claims of sexual assault? Really, what kind of idiots are you and what kind of idiots do you take us for.

    You're just another one of those weird rereg's.


  • Registered Users Posts: 671 ✭✭✭Plopsu


    It's a stat about Irish people in general. Google 'one in four'.

    Interesting. You know that according to those reports the rate for sexual assault against men is about half that. So, basic difference between men and women? Actually, according to the broad definition of sexual assault, they'll have used, I was sexually assaulted by a women in a pub. So, does that mean I should be hostile to women that I meet?
    To be honest I'm not even sure what point you were trying to make in a thread about the difference between flirting and just being friendly.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,500 ✭✭✭BrokenArrows


    Women flirt for fun even if they are not interested in the guy. Nothing new there.


  • Posts: 2,078 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Grayson wrote: »
    So you're argument against a statistic is that a charity that deals with sexual assaults inflates the stats to get more money. Any evidence of this fraud? Of course not. You're just throwing sh1t out there.

    It's well known by the definition of sexual assault used by these surveys is very very broad, and most people have been sexually assaulted by their definitions. By those definitions I've certainly been sexually assaulted as a child by overly affectionate aunties with unwanted touching.

    I've seen the damage genuine sexual assault can do. My point is that society now counts any contact of any sort between men and women as sexual assault, as long as it's a woman accusing a man.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,007 ✭✭✭s7ryf3925pivug


    I'm a man and I've experienced unwanted groping by women on multiple occasions including groping of my genitals. It was annoying. Obviously it's trivial compared to a serious assault.

    Only one of my exes had not been seriously sexually assaulted or raped, and I witnessed a pretty serious and disturbing stalker she had (who was arrested).

    Lots of women have been subjected to serious assault or rape. Lots of women have that possibility as an ongoing threat in their minds.

    I'm a man. I don't generally need to worry about being assaulted. I'm more likely to be concerned about making other people feel afraid or uncomfortable than I am to feel threatened myself. Gonna say this is a more pleasant way to live.

    Whatever the criteria is for assault in some survey, it's clear that serious assault and rape is pretty common. Saying the numbers are being inflated for some funny agenda is a bit bonkers.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 671 ✭✭✭Plopsu


    I'm a man and I've experienced unwanted groping by women on multiple occasions including groping of my genitals. It was annoying. Obviously it's trivial compared to a serious assault.

    Only one of my exes had not been seriously sexually assaulted or raped, and I witnessed a pretty serious and disturbing stalker she had (who was arrested).

    Lots of women have been subjected to serious assault or rape. Lots of women have that possibility as an ongoing threat in their minds.

    I'm a man. I don't generally need to worry about being assaulted. I'm more likely to be concerned about making other people feel afraid or uncomfortable than I am to feel threatened myself. Gonna say this is a more pleasant way to live.

    Whatever the criteria is for assault in some survey, it's clear that serious assault and rape is pretty common. Saying the numbers are being inflated for some funny agenda is a bit bonkers.

    Yes lots of women have been subjected to serious sexual assault and rape but it's nowhere near the 25% figure you quoted which includes the much more prevalent minor stuff.
    Personally, I don't worry about people being afraid of me. I'd consider that a bit odd (but may well be related to your personal experience). If somebody is afraid of me and I'm not actually doing anything to make them afraid, that's their own issue to deal with.
    Not to be picky but you might also clarify that as a man you're less concerned about being sexually assaulted rather than just assaulted.
    Again, I'm not sure why any of this is being dragged into a thread about the lines between women being friendly and women flirting.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,007 ✭✭✭s7ryf3925pivug


    It's less serious if I'm groped by a woman than if a man groped a woman. The violation is the same, but there is no threat of anything beyond that.

    I thought the point of this whole metoo thing was to make men aware that they could make people feel threatened or uncomfortable, possibly without meaning to. Respect and courtesy are good, they're not an affront to masculinity.


  • Registered Users Posts: 671 ✭✭✭Plopsu


    It's less serious if I'm groped by a woman than if a man groped a woman. The violation is the same, but there is no threat of anything beyond that.

    I thought the point of this whole metoo thing was to make men aware that they could make people feel threatened or uncomfortable, possibly without meaning to. Respect and courtesy are good, they're not an affront to masculinity.

    No, the point of #metoo was to highlight sexual assault and harassment. If person A feels uncomfortable with person B for no reason, that's an issue for person A to deal with and nothing to do with respect of courtesy.
    Still absolutely no relation to the difference between women flirting or just being friendly.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,007 ✭✭✭s7ryf3925pivug


    Plopsu wrote: »
    No, the point of #metoo was to highlight sexual assault and harassment. If person A feels uncomfortable with person B for no reason, that's an issue for person A to deal with and nothing to do with respect of courtesy.
    Still absolutely no relation to the difference between women flirting or just being friendly.
    not for no reason. People have violated my personal space without being cognizant of it, for example.


  • Registered Users Posts: 671 ✭✭✭Plopsu


    not for no reason. People have violated my personal space without being cognizant of it, for example.

    Personal space.... riiiiggghht. If you had a different notion of personal space to them, then you should have made them aware of that. It was your issue.

    That's as far down this rabbit hole as I'm going. It has nothing to do with the topic.


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