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Elderly alcoholic family member. Where does it end?

  • 28-12-2019 12:29am
    #1
    drydub
    Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭


    Non functioning alcoholic hurting themselves when out sourcing booze, been in hospital for 3 month stints twice this year.
    Comes out and back to old habits. Falling down trying to get to offy. Being brought home by strangers who find them in a state on the floor.

    At wits end here. They aren't at rock bottom yet but I fear rock bottom will be a tragic accident.

    What to do?

    Feel free to PM me


Comments

  • #2
    Sigma Force
    Registered Users Posts: 5,132 ✭✭✭Sigma Force


    drydub wrote: »
    Non functioning alcoholic hurting themselves when out sourcing booze, been in hospital for 3 month stints twice this year.
    Comes out and back to old habits. Falling down trying to get to offy. Being brought home by strangers who find them in a state on the floor.

    At wits end here. They aren't at rock bottom yet but I fear rock bottom will be a tragic accident.

    What to do?

    Feel free to PM me

    If they won’t go to rehab or to the doctor there’s not much you can do. It’s very frustrating and upsetting. Have you talked to them about it? I presume they’re refusing help and refusing to go to meetings etc. I’m not sure they can do much but maybe contacting social services at least you’ll know you’ve done all you can to help. There are elderly folk in my life who are in complete and total denial I treat them no differently than I would with an alcoholic who is younger. If they are in so much denial it’s like talking to the wall no matter what age they are, the excuses they use are ridiculous and it’s all about self pity. They almost enjoy the wallowing and the woe is me malarky.


  • #3
    Still waters
    Registered Users Posts: 1,166 ✭✭✭Still waters


    What about bringing the drink to them, they obviously have no interest in staying off it and it would save a lot of hassle, they won't be getting hurt and you know where they are


  • #4
    drydub
    Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭drydub


    Sigma Force wrote: »
    If they won’t go to rehab or to the doctor there’s not much you can do. It’s very frustrating and upsetting. Have you talked to them about it? I presume they’re refusing help and refusing to go to meetings etc. I’m not sure they can do much but maybe contacting social services at least you’ll know you’ve done all you can to help. There are elderly folk in my life who are in complete and total denial I treat them no differently than I would with an alcoholic who is younger. If they are in so much denial it’s like talking to the wall no matter what age they are, the excuses they use are ridiculous and it’s all about self pity. They almost enjoy the wallowing and the woe is me malarky.

    We've all had attempts at talking to her. Even the hospital staff and addiction teams,family meetings, consultants. She doesn't admit to having a problem at all.
    Anger threats don't work, leveling doesn't work, she just says she doesn't want anyone's pity.

    I can't do another round of 20 hours stood beside her in A&E,ive my own young family to look after but I'm sick with the thoughts of her in there on her own (getting her to get to hospital is tricky enough)


  • #5
    drydub
    Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭drydub


    Still waters wrote: »
    What about bringing the drink to them, they obviously have no interest in staying off it and it would save a lot of hassle, they won't be getting hurt and you know where they are

    Thought about it and it was done once, she still left the house, presumably to get more (even though there was plenty there) and ended up being returned to the house in a state by a neighbour :(


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