Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

Introducing 3rd person to relationship

  • 07-01-2021 4:31pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am looking for some thoughts and advice. I have a progressive physical disability which is leaving things difficult for me when I am intimate with my wife. Don't get me wrong I still very much enjoy our time together but I feel that sometimes she could be more satisfied. One night I asked her how she would feel about introducing someone else and she said she often thought of experimenting with another woman but it never happened.

    We have agreed to give it a try if the opportunity arises however neither of us know how to approach the subject. Any advice appreciated.


Comments

  • #2
    wiggle16
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,022 Mod ✭✭✭✭wiggle16


    Mod: Thread approval was delayed due to a procedural issue, mod note posted to bump it to top of thread.


  • #3
    Airyfairy12
    Registered Users Posts: 3,389 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    I've occasionally seen couples on tinder looking for a 3rd person, maybe you could set up a profile?


  • #4
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,652 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    There are a couple of sites that will cater for you - swing for Ireland.com is one and Locanto. Ashley Maddison if you are willing to pay.

    You can give tinder a go, but it mightn’t be up for very long - they don’t allow it and are constantly combing for those kind of profiles to delete them, lots of people report them when they see them too.

    The usual advice applies - discuss in advance what both or you are comfortable with in terms of who is going to do what, make sure you communicate with any prospective as on this and vice versa.

    Happy experimenting!


  • #5
    Augme
    Registered Users Posts: 5,056 ✭✭✭Augme


    Okcupid.com has many poly/open couples on it. Probaly a good place to take a look around and even ask other couples for advice etc.


  • #6
    qwerty13
    Registered Users Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭qwerty13


    alittleadvice wrote: »
    I am looking for some thoughts and advice. I have a progressive physical disability which is leaving things difficult for me when I am intimate with my wife. Don't get me wrong I still very much enjoy our time together but I feel that sometimes she could be more satisfied. One night I asked her how she would feel about introducing someone else and she said she often thought of experimenting with another woman but it never happened.

    We have agreed to give it a try if the opportunity arises however neither of us know how to approach the subject. Any advice appreciated.

    My opinion would be that whatever makes you both happy, then off you go!

    However, I’d be concerned about the “if the opportunity arises” part. Does this mean friends or acquaintances? Because I think that’s a level of complexity that could be very detrimental. If it genuinely is just ‘a sex thing’ then I think anonymous/unconnected sex partners are essential. As in no-one connected to your real or emotional life together.


  • Advertisement
  • #7
    Dtp1979
    Registered Users Posts: 12,716 ✭✭✭✭Dtp1979


    Op are you prepared if she says next time she’d like a male partner?


  • #8
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    I don't think it would leave your relationship more secure to be honest.

    Women can satisfy themselves.

    And satisfaction ....its not only ONE thing. Time with someone is satisfying in many ways.

    Whatever happens in the bedroom with your wife i am certain its very satisfying to her. :)


  • #9
    TheBoyConor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,292 ✭✭✭TheBoyConor


    In what sense do you want to introduce the third person? As in that your wife can go off with them and do their own thing together? Or a sort of 3 some where you would both have a go off of her?

    The former seems fair enough if you are in the unfortunate position of not being able to satisfy your wife anymore. I think the latter is a much more concerning scenario and I wouldn't recommend it at all. i think it would be too weird.

    And to be honest, I don't accept the whole thing of it being OK for one partner having the right to go off to get satisfied elsewhere if they can't at home. up until recently, most wives (or husbands) were never satisfied "properly" if you want to call it that, wives especially if they had children, but it wasn't a big deal and people just got on with life. Remember there was no contraception in those days.


  • #10
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Go for it!

    If you think it'll help your relationship, theres no harm in giving it a try.


Advertisement