Love?

Now here's one I wrote a long time ago very quickly and then left and didn't touch until now so please be kind.

i miss her.
Why?
Who knows?
Could be…
That, that
i love her.

Why’s that?
It’s the way she talks to me,
It’s not like she’s just being callously courteous or that it’s awkward if she doesn’t
But it’s her mouth articulating her Heart, i think,
i hope,
i miss that.

Why did she go?
i don’t know.
Aw now i recall.
She had a falling out with some girls that we know-
That’s all.
She was furious at them, still is.
So am i in a way.
She’s beautiful when she’s mad, it develops her dimples.
i miss them.

Do you still see her?
Yes, but not that often, Sadly!
She came to see me once in hospital,
She walked me to the bathroom, and waited at the door.
i had just woken up from an sedative siesta,
And was still drowsy.
Proudly, i exclaimed to the ward, “Hello, how are you?”
Hoping people would assume that she adored me to.
To see her come in the door just…
i miss just.

i never could muster up the courage to say what i just said here,
Hiding in the anonymity of paper and black,
The devil was dancing on my tongue,
He wouldn’t let me speak.
i was afraid that if i said something
People, would s****** secretly,
Covering their faces with books, giving them looks that would kill a man
i seen them doing it before, shooting people with their sight!