And then the music stopped.

Thanx 4 The Fish · 01-10-2003 11:53am #1

And then the music stopped. It had been playing for some time and it took a couple of minutes to identify what had gone. Best part of forty years really and I suppose I took it a little bit for granted. I could hear it while I was at work or playing a match, as I woke up, in fact I am nearly sure I would dance to it in my sleep.

It was something that I could hear all the time, that made me safe in the knowledge that somebody was playing the music. That somebody cared enough to keep this tune playing for me. I am sure that I thanked the great almighty, be it a goat or a bearded old man, for the music that had played for as long as I could remember.

I probably cursed the music a few times when I was trying to concentrate on something else or could not get all that I wanted done and even though the music was not to blame, the melody never changed. It was never disappointed nor ever judging, it was just there, getting me through. Something to sooth me when I was sad and to sing along openly with when I was happy, something to contemplate in the quiet times and an anchor when the world was running away with me.

Never ignore the music, always cherish it and even though it may never show it is bothered about it, let it know that it is cherished.

oddlyaromatic · 02-10-2003 12:03pm

Love the opening paragraph, it's nicely written. The rest of the piece follows suit I'm not so fond of the ending, I like the concept but it seems very different to the rest of the piece, in a different voice. Maybe it's the case that the character was snapping out of whatever reverie or thingy, fair enough. I just never like the word cherish.

Worth the read though.

Thanx 4 The Fish · 02-10-2003 12:34pm

It did feel a bit of a lame ending alright but it only took me a couple of minutes, between meetings, and I must admit I did rush to finish it. I will probably revisit it later to fix up the ending..

Thanks for the input.

Thanx 4 The Fish · 02-10-2003 2:12pm

Any improvement ?
[revised]
And then the music stopped. It had been playing for some time and it took a couple of minutes to identify what had gone. Best part of forty years really and I suppose I took it a little bit for granted. I could hear it while I was at work or playing a match, as I woke up, in fact I am nearly sure I would dance to it in my sleep.

It was something that I could hear all the time, that made me safe in the knowledge that somebody was playing the music. That somebody cared enough to keep this tune playing for me. I am sure that I thanked the great almighty, be it a goat or a bearded old man, for the music that had played for as long as I could remember.

I probably cursed the music a few times when I was trying to concentrate on something else or could not get all that I wanted done and even though the music was not to blame, the melody never changed. It was never disappointed nor ever judging, it was just there, getting me through. Something to sooth me when I was sad and to sing along openly with when I was happy, something to contemplate in the quiet times and an anchor when the world was running away with me.

Whatever it does though, never ignore the music, learn to listen to it, live it, love it.
[/revised]

oddlyaromatic · 03-10-2003 1:35pm

Better, philosophically as well as just better. It's a clearer, more rounded-off point. The only other quibble I'd have would be: "That somebody cared enough to keep this tune playing for me"

I know I'd be more help if I could give a better reason than I just don't like it. But there ya go.

Still reads well, good call on the ending.

Crucifix · 03-10-2003 7:17pm

I like it.

And then the music stopped.

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