Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

Making Connections

  • 07-09-2003 8:02pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 3,437 ✭✭✭


    Making connections

    We had known each other for a long time now, and been friends for most of it. We'd had fun together on the lost nights of drunken stupidity, and together we had faced the various trials of life as best we could. Yet still as we sat on the train platform, just us two, the rest of the group dispersed, conversation ran dry. We had already complained about the train delay, and now we sat divided by an awkward silence.
    Behind me hill clashed on the horizon; fields and trees as far as the eye could see, where they met with the calming blue sky. Infront of me lay the rusted iron and rotted wood of the tracks, and beyond them a mundane, delapadated train station. A creamy-beige colour that had once been white engulfed the building, with small details picked out in a dull green.
    Like Hercules lashing out at the Hydra, I decided to fight the silenve and struck at it, commenting how they always paint buildings such depressing sickly colours. My comrade chuckled at his idea of a red, black and purple train station: "Please stand back behind the purple line, train now approaching", and then silence invaded our world again. I recalled that when Hercules severed one of the Hydra's heads, they grew back three fold. It isn't enough to keep the silence at bay, you myst sever the Hydra's heads and burn the wounds shut, to be rid of it completely. A fleeting topic would never be enough, we needed some common grond to carry our friendship past the barbed gates if these silences.
    I looked around again. On the side of the platform where I was sitting, the splendiour of nature's boundless beauty ran free, and on the other side the small suburb where I live, fronted by the decaying structure of a once modern train station. I though of the old "other side of the tracks" phrase, and how well it applied here. A world of depression and decay, and a world of freedom and growth, seperated by such a small divide, and connected by a small bridge above the tracks. This was our common ground. Our once modern friendship was decaying like the station, and we had to find a sturdy, lasting bridge to caryy us to the beauty and freedom of a lasting friendship.


    Ahem. It had an ending, but I didn't like it, so sorry that it just ends with no resolution.


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,114 ✭✭✭Kappar


    I thought that was quite beautiful. I loved your descriptions and they whole dynamic of the piece.

    I think this is good enough for chicken soup for the soul :cool:

    If you ever get another ending or decide to post the original one let me know I'd be very interested.


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 5,945 ✭✭✭BEAT


    This peice does have potential but it needs to be shortened, paragraph separted to make it flow better, I found myself wanting to skip sentences to finish reading it. You have a great use of words however, it drags on a bit.

    I would like to see what you can do to make it flow better, keep the interest of the reader without letting them down at the end ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,437 ✭✭✭Crucifix


    Thanks for the feedback!
    I think the reason for the lack of flow is that I had no idea where I was taking the story, and was only ever planning a few lines ahead. You see, I wrote in a school exam, and being concerned for time, just rushed headlong into the writing. I think that can also account for the bad ending(which I left out).


Advertisement