Anyone else fed up of dating apps?

ILoveYourVibes · 29-09-2019 6:42am

MrFaul wrote: »

I've been on and off dating apps the past few years and pretty much sick of them at this stage. One reason is the amount of chatting for a meagre return and another is that the majority on dating apps are in Dublin (naturally as it's the most densley populated part of the country), and I'm ages away from 'Dooublan'.

There's only every about five 'wans' online at anyone time in my area, so not much to choose from ha. What are your thoughts or dating apps or what what's been your experience with them? Positive? Negative? A mxied bag?

I tried them then i realized i was actually terrified of meeting anyone i only met online in real life. So it was pretty pointless and anxiety inducing for me to use them anyway. So that was that.

Meeting people in real life is better anyway. Still anxiety inducing but safer.

joeguevara · 29-09-2019 7:08am

I think online dating is similar to people buying clothes online. One bad experience and that's all a person talks about it. There is a post on this thread (could be a joke but didn't come across like that) who said that online dating gave them countless first dates but no second ones. That isn't the fault of dating apps.

In the past week or so I have come across the craziest people on tinder that would fill a screenplay but I have also met and gone on dates with absolute legends.

It is what it is... Same as a bar or any other place people meet. No point tarring dating apps as the waiting room of hell. It's good bad and everything in between.

ILoveYourVibes · 29-09-2019 7:59am

joeguevara wrote: »

I think online dating is similar to people buying clothes online. One bad experience and that's all a person talks about it. There is a post on this thread (could be a joke but didn't come across like that) who said that online dating gave them countless first dates but no second ones. That isn't the fault of dating apps.

In the past week or so I have come across the craziest people on tinder that would fill a screenplay but I have also met and gone on dates with absolute legends.

It is what it is... Same as a bar or any other place people meet. No point tarring dating apps as the waiting room of hell. It's good bad and everything in between.

I worry about disappointing the other person i think. Its easier to talk online. I am kind of shy in real life.

neirbloom · 29-09-2019 8:21am

I used online dating sites what ten fifteen years ago now, only went on one or two dates actually went out with a girl for a while, but could always conversate with someone for a while not interested fine move along but an overall enjoyable experience .

Decided to sign up again last year to the same app and My God what a complete ceespool. Don't ask me what exactly changed in the culture between that time but some of the comments here have been illuminating.

ILoveYourVibes · 29-09-2019 8:52am

joeguevara wrote: »

I think online dating is similar to people buying clothes online. One bad experience and that's all a person talks about it. There is a post on this thread (could be a joke but didn't come across like that) who said that online dating gave them countless first dates but no second ones. That isn't the fault of dating apps.

In the past week or so I have come across the craziest people on tinder that would fill a screenplay but I have also met and gone on dates with absolute legends.

It is what it is... Same as a bar or any other place people meet. No point tarring dating apps as the waiting room of hell. It's good bad and everything in between.

I have twice bought clothes online and both times it was a disaster!

ILoveYourVibes · 29-09-2019 8:54am

Me online.

Me in real life.

joeguevara · 29-09-2019 8:56am

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

I worry about disappointing the other person i think. Its easier to talk online. I am kind of shy in real life.

But that's not online dating fault... Also being shy is endearing... Reckon you'd rock in real life... As do most people.

ILoveYourVibes · 29-09-2019 9:05am

joeguevara wrote: »

But that's not online dating fault... Also being shy is endearing... Reckon you'd rock in real life... As do most people.

Oh ..? Thank you.

hairyprincess · 29-09-2019 9:06am

I met my other half online. Tinder actually. I know a few other couples that met online.

Yes there are a lot of weirdos but there are a lot of weirdos in a bar on an average night too.

mumo3 · 29-09-2019 9:06am

I've never tried them, but friends keeping suggesting I do, I seem to be just fine attracting weirdos and wasters in real life without my phone pinging to tell me there's a new one close by ðŸ˜‰

joeguevara · 29-09-2019 9:13am

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Oh ..? Thank you.

I'm being serious... People are more harsh online than real life. I always find people get on better in person. To your point about worrying about letting someone down, at the end of the day if that happens then they weren't for you. That is no one's fault. I am serious that you more than likely rock... Being shy or awkward or true to yourself will be endearing to the vast majority of people.

ChikiChiki · 29-09-2019 9:19am

I find messaging very tough and I don't think it's on my part. It can be very repetitive and a lot of the time there is nothing coming back that you can work with.

When I'm on a date I'm very confident, can hold good conversation getting to know someone and maintain the right level of eye contact. I think there is an "ego culture" associated with dating apps. Its very hard tp get someone to agree to go out at times. Certainly finding them a lot more difficult here than when I was in Oz.

ILoveYourVibes · 29-09-2019 9:30am

joeguevara wrote: »

I'm being serious... People are more harsh online than real life. I always find people get on better in person. To your point about worrying about letting someone down, at the end of the day if that happens then they weren't for you. That is no one's fault. I am serious that you more than likely rock... Being shy or awkward or true to yourself will be endearing to the vast majority of people.

Well thank you...it could just be annoying or make me invisible ...but its the way i am.

Also some people are more harsh in real life.

When I'm on a date I'm very confident, can hold good conversation getting to know someone and maintain the right level of eye contact. I think there is an "ego culture" associated with dating apps. Its very hard tp get someone to agree to go out at times. Certainly finding them a lot more difficult here than when I was in Oz.

For me it depends on who I am with. Some people I can't really open up to or be myself around. Whereas others i can straight away.
I need a kindred spirit.

NewMan1982 · 29-09-2019 10:48am

joeguevara wrote: »

I think online dating is similar to people buying clothes online. One bad experience and that's all a person talks about it. There is a post on this thread (could be a joke but didn't come across like that) who said that online dating gave them countless first dates but no second ones. That isn't the fault of dating apps.

In the past week or so I have come across the craziest people on tinder that would fill a screenplay but I have also met and gone on dates with absolute legends.

It is what it is... Same as a bar or any other place people meet. No point tarring dating apps as the waiting room of hell. It's good bad and everything in between.

It was me who said that. I also said if I meet someone in real life they are nearly always interested in having more than 1 date.

I think I am basically saying I find that the women you meet off these online apps don’t give you a chance.

AlphabetCards · 29-09-2019 10:48am

The fortnightly boards.ie incel/femcel thread.

Myself and the gf met on Tinder, and on the whole I loved being on Tinder. Its not the opposite sex who are being ****, it's you! It's instant access to people for dates, hook-ups, whatever. If you can't write a few simple messages and propose something interesting to do, that's your fault.

Professor Genius · 29-09-2019 10:51am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

:pac:

One should never let one’s battery dip below 60%

AlphabetCards · 29-09-2019 10:52am

ChikiChiki wrote: »

Its very hard tp get someone to agree to go out at times. Certainly finding them a lot more difficult here than when I was in Oz.

Honestly, the thought of having to compel someone to go on a date is awful. Here's an idea - value your time. If someone says no, or doesn't commit to meeting you right away, they are no interested and are wasting your time. Move on to the next one.

Professor Genius · 29-09-2019 10:52am

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Oh ..? Thank you.

Get a room folks.

AlphabetCards · 29-09-2019 10:54am

Ubbquittious wrote: »

I find it way harder to keep a conversation alive on those apps than in real life or even get a response. Even if you do get a good conversation you're subjected to a lengthy vetting process where you convince them you're not a serial killer before you go on a date.

Again, why are you letting these conversations go on like that? You are literally putting yourself at the mercy of others. Few messages, suggest a pint, and wait for a response. If they aren't interested, then why bother? At least demonstrate some value and ignore him/her if all they want to do is interrogate you. If they fancied you they would jump at the chance to go for a drink.

cj maxx · 29-09-2019 11:00am

I have never used them . But the people I know that are / were on them are the vanest people I know. That's just them so don't take to heart anyone

AlphabetCards · 29-09-2019 11:03am

cjmc wrote: »

I have never used them . But the people I know that are / were on them are the vanest people I know. That's just them so don't take to heart anyone

Aye, tons of them. The obvious give away is that every photo of them is a selfie. It's generally a good sign if most of the photos are taken by others.*

*=caveat: if these photos are those awful, awful yoga poses against a scene, or someone rubbing an opiate-addicted tiger in SE Asia, then they are worse than the vain types.

MrFaul · 29-09-2019 11:25am

mikhail wrote: »

I've generally had more success in other countries. I don't know if that's because I'm foreign there (which adds a little air of exoticism), or if Irish women are bloody impossible, but I have my suspicions.

Ye if there's something that I've found disappointing about Ireland is the women. I often find Irish women to be egotisical, have a bad attitude and sometimes act more like men. Besides that, I find them to be generic: make up, hi heels, bubble gum talk... Now you've got feminist b.s. around.

Of course not all the women here are all like that, of course not, just a good portion of them
haha. The ones who are different, more individualistic are hardered to come across. For example when do you ever comes across an Irish female whose ladylike or elegant? It's very rare I tell you haha

the beer revolu · 29-09-2019 11:32am

MrFaul wrote: »

Ye if there's something that I've found disappointing about Ireland is the women. I often find Irish women to be egotisical, have a bad attitude and sometimes act more like men. Besides that, I find them to be generic: make up, hi heels, bubble gum talk... Now you've got feminist b.s. around.

Of course not all the women here are all like that, of course not, just a good portion of them
haha. The ones who are different, more individualistic are hardered to come across. For example when do you ever comes across an Irish female whose ladylike or elegant? It's very rare I tell you haha

Arsehole women behave like men = men are arseholes.

I'd say you're some catch.

Raconteuse · 29-09-2019 11:33am

There are other types of women besides the Love Island clones so stop going for them!

Church on Tuesday · 29-09-2019 11:34am

hank scorpio89 wrote: »

Only signed up for tinder today and you now have to pay too see who likes you ..yeah good luck with that .deleted it already

Yup pretty mental TBH.

I'm on dating apps but it's really not for me, much better (and fun) to chat to someone you fancy in real life.

ILoveYourVibes · 29-09-2019 11:35am

Raconteuse wrote: »

There are other types of women besides the Love Island clones so stop going for them!

Its true ....i made a male profile to see what the women were like ..they were ALL like that. SO not me

cj maxx · 29-09-2019 11:51am

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Its true ....i made a male profile to see what the women were like ..they were ALL like that. SO not me

Aaw, that's just ruined my impression of you based on your name .

s7ryf3925pivug · 29-09-2019 11:59am

I found myself inundated with people wanting to date me. Very dateable people too. I wasn't in Dublin though a good portion of the women who contacted me were. Basically you need one nice photo and the ability to present yourself as a normal person. I'm not really really good looking or anything like that.

Earthhorse · 29-09-2019 12:09pm

BDI wrote: »

Just because you have a keyboard and a witty subject line doesn’t mean some model is going to fall for your charms. She still has to be seen in public with you.

Not true. I have no intention of leaving the house once hitched.

NewMan1982 · 29-09-2019 12:09pm

Blaire Tangy Saddle wrote: »

I found myself inundated with people wanting to date me. Very dateable people too. I wasn't in Dublin though a good portion of the women who contacted me were. Basically you need one nice photo and the ability to present yourself as a normal person. I'm not really really good looking or anything like that.

You need to watch out for the ones who want to go on a date within the first few messages.
They generally have several dates a week and the date feels more like a job interview.

Anyone else fed up of dating apps?

Comments