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Running from the ashes

  • 22-02-2021 5:28am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 1


    So I'm in my mid 30s. Somehow I have been smoking for 20 odd years. I'm not sure how I have let it go on this long but here I am. I cant do anything about the past now and I am focusing on the now. The bizarre thing about this is I am a runner. A very long distance runner. And considering I’ve been smoking for 20 years...not a bad one. I have been competing in ultramarathons for the last 5 years. That’s kind of when I started running in the first place. I started big lets just say. I have done multiple 100km races and a bunch of slightly smaller events. Its my thing, I love it. Then why do I continue to smoke??? Seems kind of dumb right? Well yes it is. What makes it worse is I’ve been keeping my smoking secret from my partner of two years. She knows I used to smoke. I’m super careful of her finding out. Lots of strong mints, mouthwash, showers etc. Its pathetic. My life is good in almost every other way, mentally and physically. Smoking is just the one thing that wont go away. Its like my little self destruct button. Like no matter how good things are I have to always be doing a little something that makes me feel like crap. The other obvious question is how good my running would be if I stopped. I'm currently in training for a 100k trail race in May. I’ve done this race 3 times...all whist being a smoker. This time round I really want to give it a red hot go and not be cursing myself on the course for mistakes made i.e. smoking. I also feel like a fraud when people I know see what I’m doing and the training I do. Little do they know that I'm putting away a few packs a week. It will feel good not lying to myself also. Anyway, it feels good to be writing this down. I'm hoping this thread will give me some inspiration and accountability. I have smoked my last cig. I have god rid of all the empty boxes and lighters I’ve had stashed away and its time for a fresh start. Wish me luck.


Comments

  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 6,924 Mod ✭✭✭✭Cherry Blossom


    Good luck OP. On one of my quits I had just taken up kickboxing and the difference in what I was able to do within a space of a few short weeks was phenomenal. I lasted a year on that quit till I moved to a new house, new job, new housemates who smoked and a job that I had to work evenings for and couldn’t join a new kickboxing club and old habits crept back in unfortunately. I have since quit for good but wonder where I’d be now fitness wise if I’d kept up my quit on that occasion.


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