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Haven't touched a drop in...

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  • Registered Users Posts: 557 ✭✭✭Mearings


    Hedgelayer wrote: »
    I've friends who were in AA and they say it made them a worse person sober than they were when drunk.


    Could be it made them sober enough to realise how awful they were, drunk or sober.


  • Registered Users Posts: 295 ✭✭aabarnes1


    Hedgelayer wrote: »
    AA is ok for someone who accepts guidance from an unprofessional who could be as mad as a box of frog's.

    I am very sceptical about 12 step programme's and their Christian root's.

    I've friends who were in AA and they say it made them a worse person sober than they were when drunk.

    I'm told AA is full of misfits, weirdos, and the good old crossing your boundaries I just want an inappropriate hug kind of ilk.

    I read a lot about it, and strangely enough people who left AA for the right reasons are way my happier without it.

    I think it only has a 5% success rate.
    But the bleeding deacon's of AA will say its Only the chosen few who'll make it.

    Look If you're going to drink nothing is going to stop you.
    Good luck with your journey.
    But be wary of those parasite's in AA I'd say 5% of them are sane the rest are nuts.

    Hi Hedgelayer
    I read your post with interest then I smiled, I too felt like you described initially. I thought AA wasn't to be trusted and I was different, I wasn't like any of these people.
    I would just like to clarify a couple of things for you, as it seems you have been given a very negative and biased view of AA.

    The AA program is rooted in Spirituality, There are certain Christian values referred to, but it was written in a Christian country,by 100 men and women who had recovered. But there is no Christian annals to be followed or adhered to, just your own concept of whatever you think is up there.
    The 'friends' you describe that say they were worse person sober, were probably telling the truth, but AA did little to make them that way. Untreated alcoholism was possibly more to blame. Just sitting in meetings and sharing does not get a real alcoholic sober.

    There are a few people in AA who have issues other that alcohol, and I am sure that there have been occasional out of bounds hugs, but I can assure you they are a rarity rather than the norm. You will probably see more inappropriate hugging on Dame st at 2.00 pm in the morning on a daily basis, than you ever will in AA. That's a bit like saying all priests are guilty.
    There is no documented success rate in Ireland or the UK, attendance is Anonymous, so 5% is pie in the sky my friend.

    The question is have YOU had enough, are you beaten, are you sick of repeating the same old behaviour? The first step in recovery is admitting to your innermost self that your alcoholic.
    Then you are on your journey.

    All the very best.




  • @ Hedgelayer - if it only works for the 5%, at least it has changed the lives of 5%

    Personally i wouldnt go for it.

    Personally i wasn't drinking everyday, more like once a week or once a fortnight and that was enough to show me once i went to the pub i wouldn't leave sober, more like pissed out of my mind and i got to the point where i thought this is crap and i hated wasted my Saturday in a puib getting drunk and my Sunday recovering. I think as you get a bit older and i am only 36, you realise what a waste it is to work all week and waste your time off.

    What got it for me was the same automated responses why people drink, the same gossiping and begrudgery from those drinkers towards anyone and everyone, the fact that everyone you know from the pub is getting progressively worse either on a fast scale or a slow scale but still worse on the drink and health wise than they were a year or 2 ago.

    For me reading Allen Carr and Annie Grace put it in words and perspective that i needed, i know deep down thats what i was thinking just needed it explained a bit better.

    @ The Enbalmer, well done on 14 weeks, i am sure your family and friends are delighted and proud of you. They will be fearful of a relapse though so that should be your motivation also to prove this is a permanent change. Take up a new hobbie as well, start running or cycling. Good luck on your journey. i just counted there and i haven't drank in 154 days, you stop thinking about it after a while, you tend to count at the start.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,033 ✭✭✭realdanbreen


    AA is what it is,it's a bunch of people who have suffered as a result of alcoholism and it's a support group as such.
    I personally havnt been following the 12 principles as some of the ideas are a bit nebulous (remember this was founded in the 30s).
    The group's contain very few nutters in my experience but that could well depend on the area..some people are decidedly more ****ed up than others but that's drinking for you.
    There's no particular Christian influence but they refer to "God as we understand it"..I think that's fair enough,a lot of people benefit from some form of spirituality so as long as there's no attempts to get people to join a cult I don't see the problem really.
    I don't know about % of successful adherents but most of my group are sober 10 years or more.
    I guess it is what it is,if it helps it shouldn't be decried.


    Probably as good a summing up of AA as I have come across. I don't drink today because I attended AA years ago. Like yourself I don't adhere to the 12 steps as recommended and some AA members would frown on that. Like any group of people there will be some you get on well with and others that would wreck your head but all in all it got me off the booze.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,132 ✭✭✭Sigma Force


    Like with anything AA can work great for some and not for others because everyone is different. But there are other options like smart recovery or bcat and as they say in AA take what you want and leave the rest behind. So if you can get into that mind set you can choose what you are comfortable with and the spiritual side doesn't have to be about a god.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭Foweva Awone


    Like with anything AA can work great for some and not for others because everyone is different. But there are other options like smart recovery or bcat and as they say in AA take what you want and leave the rest behind. So if you can get into that mind set you can choose what you are comfortable with and the spiritual side doesn't have to be about a god.

    I've never heard that in AA ... they actually discourage an a la carte approach.


  • Registered Users Posts: 223 ✭✭Tinwhistle*


    Thank you for the kind words.
    I think what helped more than anything was my councillor who focused on alcohol as being the root cause of my problems. He refused to be side tracked by my desire to talk about all my underlying issues and initially I found him to be very cold.
    I discovered he had a method in his madness as he wanted me to abstain completely from alcohol as my No 1 priority,not to try and justify my drinking..I had to stop first..THEN we started to chat about emotional matters which became much easier the longer I stayed sober.
    I discovered after 4 weeks my sleep had improved, my anxiety disappeared and my diet was back to normal,I've built bridges with people I'd previously fallen out with and suddenly discovered I'm not short tempered after all.
    For me,alcohol became a curse and as it became progressive, drinking was ultimately negatively impacting on ALL aspects of my life.

    I always remember the AA saying:
    T
    "The man took a drink
    The drink took a drink
    The drink took a man"

    Great story with a very happy ending! I'm 241 days sober today, wish I'd have quit sooner, but hey ho :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭drydub


    Not stressed and not tempted but felt it was time to check in and read how well everyone else is doing.

    One year no drink last Tuesday and delighted with it. Has made me think quite a bit about how i protected my sobriety at the start and now that im kind of cruising that i am lucky and fortunate to be out of the fog and pressure.

    The early times were tough and not only with my own battles but my battles with everyone else.
    Now that i am a year, its like a badge i wear with pride and i am noticing the questions now taking the tack of "Will you ever drink again?" which to me is dangerous. If you say never , il end up drinking. But for now im happy to say im not drinking now and my plan is to not drink in the future.

    Thanks for your messages about my dads passing. Its been tough month but it would have been hell of a lot tougher if i was in a stupour and worse still if i was justifying the stupour on the death of someone i loved. I embraced the clarity and the ability to remember the great moments before his passing.

    Good luck with all your decisions this weekend and i hope you all have strength.


  • Registered Users Posts: 223 ✭✭Tinwhistle*


    drydub wrote: »
    Not stressed and not tempted but felt it was time to check in and read how well everyone else is doing.

    One year no drink last Tuesday and delighted with it. Has made me think quite a bit about how i protected my sobriety at the start and now that im kind of cruising that i am lucky and fortunate to be out of the fog and pressure.

    The early times were tough and not only with my own battles but my battles with everyone else.
    Now that i am a year, its like a badge i wear with pride and i am noticing the questions now taking the tack of "Will you ever drink again?" which to me is dangerous. If you say never , il end up drinking. But for now im happy to say im not drinking now and my plan is to not drink in the future.

    Thanks for your messages about my dads passing. Its been tough month but it would have been hell of a lot tougher if i was in a stupour and worse still if i was justifying the stupour on the death of someone i loved. I embraced the clarity and the ability to remember the great moments before his passing.

    Good luck with all your decisions this weekend and i hope you all have strength.

    I think if we can deal with a close relative passing, we can handle anything, and to to it sober is the best way, well done.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,132 ✭✭✭Sigma Force


    I've never heard that in AA ... they actually discourage an a la carte approach.

    I think what they mean is take what is helpful to you and your recovery and leave what isn't helpful to you behind


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  • Registered Users Posts: 5,506 ✭✭✭Wheety


    I've decided to try and give up alcohol. I'm don't see myself as an alcoholic. I can go weeks without drinking, no bother. But I find when I'm out, especially drinking pints, I just don't know when to stop and often have blackouts.

    Having a few drinks a couple of weeks ago and a friend reminded me of a previous night out where I was drunk. I didn't remember the incident he was talking about until he mentioned it but have been thinking about it since. There was only me, him and someone from work but I cringe thinking about it. I didn't try it on with anyone or anything but I'm still embarrassed. Even on the night when he reminded me of this, I wanted to go out to a late bar. I'm glad no one else did tbf.

    Had a free voucher for a 4 pack of Heineken 0.0. Thought it was decent. Will look for it when I'm out. Still like the socialising of going out but will drink alcohol free beers. I'm going to grab some Pure Brew in Tesco to see what that's like.

    I'm already thinking of excuses for why I'm not drinking :rolleyes:

    If going to my old local with mates, I'll drive. If out with work, I'll say I'll be driving later. I feel it'll just be easier. After a few months I can say I'm off the drink.

    Not going completely tee-total though. I can drink 1-2 bottles of beer some weekends at home with the wife no problem. But when I'm out, I'm going to try and stick to the above.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,283 ✭✭✭KikiLaRue


    I've never heard that in AA ... they actually discourage an a la carte approach.

    It’s quite a common expression in the rooms. It fits in with the idea that there are no rules in AA, only suggestions.

    It’s suggested that you get a sponsor, do the steps and get involved with service, but it’s up to you to decide how much of it is useful to you.

    I was five years sober on Friday. I’m 30, got sober quite young. I find this weekend hard. I feel like everyone is off having fun and I’ve got nothing to do :(


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol.

    The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks—drinks which they see others taking with impunity.

    After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.
    On the other hand—and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand—once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules.
    ― Alcoholics Anonymous
    ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    Hedgelayer wrote: »
    AA is ok for someone who accepts guidance from an unprofessional who could be as mad as a box of frog's.

    I am very sceptical about 12 step programme's and their Christian root's.

    I've friends who were in AA and they say it made them a worse person sober than they were when drunk.

    I'm told AA is full of misfits, weirdos, and the good old crossing your boundaries I just want an inappropriate hug kind of ilk.

    I read a lot about it, and strangely enough people who left AA for the right reasons are way my happier without it.

    I think it only has a 5% success rate.
    But the bleeding deacon's of AA will say its Only the chosen few who'll make it.

    Look If you're going to drink nothing is going to stop you.
    Good luck with your journey.
    But be wary of those parasite's in AA I'd say 5% of them are sane the rest are nuts.

    This post made me very sad.

    Someone who has never been to AA quoting made up statistics and stories about his "mates".

    AA has saved my life. And other's lives. I was an avoid Athiest and I still detest organised religion.

    I dont think you have friends in AA as you call those same people "parasites" later in the post.

    I found AA full of people in pain. All of them intelligent, self aware, hurt and humbled. All of them people with quiet dignity and compassion. AA does not ascribe to a Christian God or indeed any God. Your higher power can be nature, or any god of your understanding so long as it is a power greater than yourself.

    Your post is at best ignorant and at worst dangerous if it stops one person from accessing a service which is FREE to all who wish to avail of it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 102 ✭✭Hunter101


    Hi all. Alcohol is something that I have struggled with in the past, it’s cost me relationships my license and countless family problems. I quit around Dec 17 for a three month period and went back on it. It was more controlled this time round but lately I’ve seen it croppping up again. I fell out with my girlfriend St. Patrick’ Night because I went out and never contacted her. The aftermath of it was me drinking the Monday abd turning up for work 5 hours late. My boss called me aside Friday night and explained how close I came to loosing my job but he opted not to pursue it, just good luck on my part, the last person to do it was fired before the end of the day. That brought us to Saturday, I got up in tbe afternoon because I was working nights Friday, and I organised my dad to leave me to the pub around 7pm and to collect me at 10pm. I never went home, instead I got involved in a lock in until 8:30am and had to cover a shift in a local pub on Sunday (yesterday) where I proceeded to drink at work and lied to my patterns about having to work later than I did so I could still drink. My parents talked to me this morning and my mother was physically sick because she said I reminded her of her alcoholic father. Now I haven’t told them this yet but I patched things up with my girlfriend under the condition I don’t ever drink again. I have already gone for alcohol counselling and I think it never worked for me really so I’m looking to give A.A. a try. Has anyone any advice on what I can expect or who do I talk to when I get there? Any help is greatly appreciated as things need to change for me. Thanks all


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    AA, the Fellowship circa 2019 is a mixed bag. This is why you get such a wide array of "opinions" on it.

    For me, the program itself is what changed my life. I have made numerous posts on this thread over the years, so have a gawk if you're interested, but in the end going to a meeting is probably the best thing anyone can do because then you can experience things for yourself . AA's are not really in the "advice giving" biz, all any of us can share is what worked :)

    All I can say is that you certainly sound like a prime candidate for our "club", lol....counselling and all that racket never did much for me either, but thanks to AA I am now in my 17th year away from drink---and happy as hell about it.

    Alcoholism is a fatal illness, and it still destroys an enormous amount of lives. But you can recover and have a wonderful life--if you really want it.

    Best of luck!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 102 ✭✭Hunter101


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    AA, the Fellowship circa 2019 is a mixed bag. This is why you get such a wide array of "opinions" on it.

    For me, the program itself is what changed my life. I have made numerous posts on this thread over the years, so have a gawk if you're interested, but in the end going to a meeting is probably the best thing anyone can do because then you can experience things for yourself . AA's are not really in the "advice giving" biz, all any of us can share is what worked :)

    All I can say is that you certainly sound like a prime candidate for our "club", lol....counselling and all that racket never did much for me either, but thanks to AA I am now in my 17th year away from drink---and happy as hell about it.

    Alcoholism is a fatal illness, and it still destroys an enormous amount of lives. But you can recover and have a wonderful life--if you really want it.

    Best of luck!

    Amazingfun thank you for the quick reply. I’m really anxious about going tomorrow evening. My girlfriend is going to bring me abd wait to be sure I go. Do I just mention to someone it’s my first meeting or how do I go about it? Like will some random person mind me going up to them?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    The one thing I know you can pretty much count on no matter what meeting you go to is a warm welcome and kindness. Depending on the size of the group, yes, announcing yourself as being at your first meeting would be helpful. But some meetings are fairly small so the members might realize you are new on their own and approach you first.
    I wish you a good experience, and don't mind being nervous. We were all at our first meeting once upon a time.

    I'll be thinkin of you and sending good vibes :-)


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,033 ✭✭✭realdanbreen


    Hunter101 wrote: »
    Amazingfun thank you for the quick reply. I’m really anxious about going tomorrow evening. My girlfriend is going to bring me abd wait to be sure I go. Do I just mention to someone it’s my first meeting or how do I go about it? Like will some random person mind me going up to them?

    You're going to be OK. I know that's easy for me to say several years down the line from my first AA meeting but you are going to be OK. My advice would be to try and not over analyse things. At some stage you are probably going to think WTF am I doing here and that little boozed up demon at the back of your mind is going to tell you to get out of there but stick it out.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 102 ✭✭Hunter101


    First A.A. meeting under my belt, don’t know why I didn’t go years ago. Still haven’t told my family, think that will come with time. Joined the local gym too. A.A. has given me my first hope in a long time to beat this for good and for all.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    Excellent! and this bit
    for good and for all.
    reminded me of the words of Dr. Bob, AA co-founder:
    If you still think you are strong enough to beat the game alone, that is your affair. But if you really and truly want to quit drinking liquor for good and all, and sincerely feel that you must have some help, we know that we have an answer for you. It never fails if you go about it with one half the zeal you have been in the habit of showing when getting another drink.

    Good omen ;)


  • Posts: 0 Jeffrey Lemon Lip


    Hunter101 wrote: »
    First A.A. meeting under my belt, don’t know why I didn’t go years ago. Still haven’t told my family, think that will come with time. Joined the local gym too. A.A. has given me my first hope in a long time to beat this for good and for all.

    come to terms with the whole thing yourself first and its great you'll have the support of your girlfriend.

    I also believe in reading books on this, as there will be something that will click at some stage.

    Keep strong


  • Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭drydub


    Hunter101 wrote: »
    First A.A. meeting under my belt, don’t know why I didn’t go years ago. Still haven’t told my family, think that will come with time. Joined the local gym too. A.A. has given me my first hope in a long time to beat this for good and for all.

    Delighted for you and your positive start and well done on taking the first steps in what will be a non linear journey! Expect the bumps and accept that they will come and just prepare yourself for the falls and tumbles but stick at it

    At this early stage my advice will be to be kind to yourself. You are attempting something that not everyone can achieve but by walking into AA you have made the biggest and most positive step for you and the relationships around you.

    A great achievement and i look forward to hearing how you progress. We are all behind you here and feel free to give me a shout on PM if you want. I am fortunate to have not drank in 13 months and i could see a lot of me in your original post.


  • Registered Users Posts: 95 ✭✭JonBon27


    Was on a roll, over three years sober, started to then have the occasional glass of red and shandy at home. Had a mad one at a work function on Wednesday, still have the fear and the usual crazy thoughts that run through your head when you black out for a period. I'm off it now again and this tone for good! 3 days in


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,881 ✭✭✭hooch-85


    Hi all, this is my second time posting in this thread, i thought i had control of my drinking but i have conceded i no longer have, i need to quit, my marriage is suffering and i don't want to lose the woman i love so dearly. Any tips for going to my first AA meeting?




  • hooch-85 wrote:
    Hi all, this is my second time posting in this thread, i thought i had control of my drinking but i have conceded i no longer have, i need to quit, my marriage is suffering and i don't want to lose the woman i love so dearly. Any tips for going to my first AA meeting?

    Only tip you need is to go. Just be there. Best of luck buddy


  • Registered Users Posts: 223 ✭✭Tinwhistle*


    hooch-85 wrote: »
    Hi all, this is my second time posting in this thread, i thought i had control of my drinking but i have conceded i no longer have, i need to quit, my marriage is suffering and i don't want to lose the woman i love so dearly. Any tips for going to my first AA meeting?

    I was in the very same situation, either i gave up alcohol or my marriage would fail. We still aren't in a good place but I'm sober.

    Go to that meeting (if you haven't already) and keep going.

    Take one day at a time and don't look any further than that, your wife will be so proud of you x


  • Registered Users Posts: 182 ✭✭Diablo Verde


    Back in the right frame of mind for this again. Didn't touch a drop for a few years and then drifted back into the old ways again back in 2016/2017.

    I was due to start taking medication (nothing serious) for 12 weeks in mid-January and the recommendation was not to drink while on it, so I decided to take advantage of that and give the non-drinking another go from January 1st. I've been off the meds for a few weeks now, and I have absolutely no inclination to drink. It was great having the "excuse" for those 12 weeks, and now that I'm seeing the benefits again, I've no issue with just telling people that I don't want a drink because, well...I don't drink.


  • Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭drydub


    Not an easy one to write but my mother is undergoing a detox in hospital at the moment. Years of abuse and it is scary. The nurses are throwing all they can at it but the drugs aren't claiming her. Very distressing.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭drydub


    Not an easy one to write but my mother is undergoing a detox in hospital at the moment. Years of abuse and it is scary. The nurses are throwing all they can at it but the drugs aren't calming her. Very distressing.


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