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Did any of you ever get slapped as a child?

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    #92
    How Soon Is Now
    Registered Users Posts: 13,083 ✭✭✭✭How Soon Is Now


    This is it wrote: »
    I said hit because when you slap someone you're hitting them, I didn't label it as anything but bad parenting.

    There are plenty of ways to discipline a child without hitting or slapping them. Unfortunately it's what some parents resort to.


    There comes a point when taking something away or raising your voice just doesn't work.

    It shouldn't be a solution to every problem but it happens.

    Theres a difference in a slap and losing your **** and beating someone.

    Kids aint stupid they know what they can get away with and how far they can push you especially in public.


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    #93
    This is it
    Registered Users Posts: 5,184 ✭✭✭This is it


    How Soon Is Now wrote: »
    There comes a point when taking something away or raising your voice just doesn't work.

    It shouldn't be a solution to every problem but it happens.

    Theres a difference in a slap and losing your **** and beating someone.

    Kids aint stupid they know what they can get away with and how far they can push you especially in public.

    I'm not here to change your mind, some parents think it's ok or necessary, I think it's bad parenting.


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    #94
    Sciprio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 790 ✭✭✭Sciprio


    Yes. The wooden spoon wasn't a thing in my house but i did get a leather belt now and then. :p


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    #95
    How Soon Is Now
    Registered Users Posts: 13,083 ✭✭✭✭How Soon Is Now


    This is it wrote: »
    I'm not here to change your mind, some parents think it's ok or necessary, I think it's bad parenting.


    Its not necessary but sometimes it just happens. I never do it and feel good about it afterwards. I normally always feel bad in some way most of the time but only because i dont like seeing them upset.

    Thing is i always sit down and explain to them straight away i dont like having to do this its not what i want to do but you push me so bloody far some times even though ive told you so many times to stop and you dont listen.

    I was never abused as a kid my ma and da done everything for us but ya you had a certain amount of fear of what your da would do if you ****ed up.

    My best example would be my granny never hit me but because she was strick and very prim and proper i always had that bit of fear of her more then i had of me nana.

    End the day id kiss the ground the two of them walked on they where both amazing people who i loved so much and would never change a thing about them but one had that extra thing about her that you just felt i better not mess up around her....

    Thing was i didnt hold it against her or love her any less for it.


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    #96
    This is it
    Registered Users Posts: 5,184 ✭✭✭This is it


    How Soon Is Now wrote: »
    Its not necessary but sometimes it just happens. I never do it and feel good about it afterwards. I normally always feel bad in some way most of the time but only because i dont like seeing them upset.

    Thing is i always sit down and explain to them straight away i dont like having to do this its not what i want to do but you push me so bloody far some times even though ive told you so many times to stop and you dont listen.

    I was never abused as a kid my ma and da done everything for us but ya you had a certain amount of fear of what your da would do if you ****ed up.

    My best example would be my granny never hit me but because she was strick and very prim and proper i always had that bit of fear of her more then i had of me nana.

    End the day id kiss the ground the two of them walked on they where both amazing people who i loved so much and would never change a thing about them but one had that extra thing about her that you just felt i better not mess up around her....

    If it's not necessary then why do it? If it "just happens" is that you losing control?

    You're coming off worse with every post.


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    #97
    Lackey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,118 ✭✭✭Lackey


    Its unfair when people judge their parents actions by today’s stardards
    (Obviously not talking abuse here)
    We all used to pile into the back of my dad’s van when we were kids
    The same man had the lads checking the car seats driven mad checking his grandkids car seats were fitted properly in his car every second day.
    Its not fair to make an elderly person feel bad over something that happened 30 /50 years ago when they were doing the best they could with the information they had at the time.


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    #98
    How Soon Is Now
    Registered Users Posts: 13,083 ✭✭✭✭How Soon Is Now


    This is it wrote: »
    If it's not necessary then why do it? If it "just happens" is that you losing control?

    You're coming off worse with every post.


    To some i come off worse with most posts on here sure! Im not here to make friends or win popularity contests.


    If i lost control i would be losing my **** with them all time but i dont. It takes a lot for me to get up and slap them. Usually i deal with it in other ways.


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    #99
    This is it
    Registered Users Posts: 5,184 ✭✭✭This is it


    How Soon Is Now wrote: »
    To some i come off worse with most posts on here sure! Im not here to make friends or win popularity contests.


    If i lost control i would be losing my **** with them all time but i dont. I takes a lot for me to get up and slap them. Usually i deal with it in other ways.

    To put it another way, your justification for it is getting weaker and weaker with each post.

    If it's not necessary then why do it. If you usually deal with them in other ways why not always deal with them in other ways. Hitting a kid is bad parenting.


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    #100
    mojesius
    Registered Users Posts: 4,322 ✭✭✭mojesius


    Yea I did by one parent. Went to a school where some of the teachers (mainly nuns/religious sorts) still had a hankering for it in (late 80s/early 90s). Not something I'd be doing to my daughter in a big hurry. My husband had it a lot worse and we're both vehemently opposed to any sort of physical punishment.


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    #101
    How Soon Is Now
    Registered Users Posts: 13,083 ✭✭✭✭How Soon Is Now


    This is it wrote: »
    To put it another way, your justification for it is getting weaker and weaker with each post.

    If it's not necessary then why do it. If you usually deal with them in other ways why not always deal with them in other ways. Hitting a kid is bad parenting.

    Because not every situation is the same. There are times when you deal with it and its done. There are other times when they act the bollix all day long don't listen to you for a second a literally drive you insane up until the point you need to show them cop on this is where it ends.

    Look you can do what you like and if it works for you fare play but it doesn't make you any better then anyone else the same way it doesn't make me anyway better then any other parent.


    All kids are different we deal with what we have in front of us in different ways. Again it all comes back to a slap is different to beating someone. A slap i would give my child would be nothing they would forget about it and move on very quick. I dont abuse my kids and sure the vast majority of parents don't either.

    If more people where disciplined in all kinds of levels they might think twice about there next action.


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    #102
    This is it
    Registered Users Posts: 5,184 ✭✭✭This is it


    We'll agree to disagree :)


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    #103
    bobdcow
    Registered Users Posts: 555 ✭✭✭bobdcow


    I was given slaps with a plastic spatula, I'd have taken the wooden spoon any day over the plastic. The plastic spatula stung, but I was only slapped when I deserved it.


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    #104
    retro:electro
    Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    The second you raise your hand to a child, you’ve lost whatever point you’ve tried to make. People say “oh I was slapped when I was a child, it did me no harm”, well you still remember it don’t you? So clearly it still affects you. As an adult, you are more powerful, more intelligent, more articulate and stronger than any little child could ever be - and if you still end up using the palm of your hand to get your point across then you lose all respect from me.


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    #105
    Aceandstuff
    Registered Users Posts: 734 ✭✭✭Aceandstuff


    Up until I reached about the same height as her, yes, all the time, by my mother. There was no "reason" behind any of it, she just enjoyed doing it. Seemed proud of it as well. She used to claim to other parents in the area that she was a "boot in the arse mommy" and wouldn't take any **** from us. And then she wonders out loud why other mothers cut off any contact with her. She would also wonder why I was covered in bruises all the time, and why I "never told her about the bullying". I didn't realise it was bullying, it just seemed like a less extreme version of what was happening at home. She tried to blame me for it as well.

    Of course, now she denies everything. She blames me. She says it was always deserved. She thinks there must be something wrong with me because I don't "love" her. She blames my father now that he's dead. She blames my younger brother's problems on our father, and not on the fact that she was so preoccupied with torturing me and watching TV 24/7 that she completely forgot to parent him.

    Any time it is mentioned, her reply goes something like this: https://www.chrisshepherd.org/the-narcissists-prayer/

    My brother mentioned it to her not long ago that we'll be the ones deciding what nursing home she goes to. According to her, that's awful, and she will never end up living in a nursing home. According to me, that's awful, and I'll never end up paying for her to *live* in a nursing home.

    I don't have children of my own, and I don't want her to be anywhere near my children if I have any in the future. Some people are just f*cked up, slapping never fixed them, and them slapping their children only makes things worse.


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    #106
    kowloon
    Registered Users Posts: 13,279 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    Kobe Ugly Windbag wrote: »
    An odd slap but nothing severe. The issue with slapping children hinges on the severity. Some seem to have endured what amounted to brutality.

    That's the issue. When a child does something really bad, dangerously bad. I'd rather they get a very strong reminder than the lesson be forgotten. But there are enough vicious fcukers out there to ruin it for everyone, hence the practice needing to be controlled.


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    #107
    irishgirl19
    Registered Users Posts: 1,609 ✭✭✭irishgirl19


    Yes I was and I have very mixed feelings about it.
    I ended up getting into an abusive relationship in my late teens and part of me resents my parents for hitting me because there are times I wonder is that why I put up with it. I don't know. Other times I think I'm being ridiculous.
    I would never hit my daughter.


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    #108
    Lost implants
    Registered Users Posts: 94 ✭✭Lost implants


    'It's not the bang, it's the expectation of the bang'

    Can't remember if it was Hitchcock or my plumber that said that.


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    #109
    misterme123
    Closed Accounts Posts: 82 ✭✭misterme123


    One eyed Jack wrote: »
    It’s not, and that’s not the reason why the defence of reasonable chastisement was removed as a defence to a charge of child neglect either.

    The rest of your post is just your opinion which isn’t worth a whole lot either way tbh, particularly when there is plenty of evidence to suggest quite the opposite of what you’re suggesting - the vast majority of adults understand the difference between discipline and child neglect, which is precisely why even though they may have been smacked or neglected as children themselves, they know better than to do the same thing to another adult.

    It’s something the vast majority of people actually do learn as children, so it’s not something that should be used as an excuse to explain the minority of people’s misbehaviour as adults. 50 years of biased “research” doesn’t prove anything one way or the other only that confirmation bias based upon ideology is rife in social studies.

    Just to be clear, smacking your kids is illegal.


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    #110
    JupiterKid
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 12,571 Mod ✭✭✭✭JupiterKid


    Yes, occasionally, and as a last resort. Usually punishment involved no pocket money, bed with no supper, grounding.

    I had friends growing up who were belted to bits by their parents, usually their fathers. One guy ended up in hospital when his alcoholic father beat him senseless. He shed no tears when his father died, from complications resulting from years of very heavy drinking. He would never lift a finger to his own children.


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    #111
    Tammy!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,149 ✭✭✭Tammy!


    There was no violence in my house growing up. My parents didn't use that 'method.' I had an overall very much free childhood!


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    #112
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    Greyfox wrote: »
    Ideally grounding them would work better but what if a child ignores the threat of grounding. It's not nice hitting your child but a very small smack sends a clear message to the child.
    Grounding shouldn't be a threat. Give a warning and then implement whatever punishment it is eg not going out with friends, taking phone for 1/2/3 days. You can defend it all you like but hitting isn't for the benefit of the child - it's so the parent can have a quick fix punishment and not have to listen to a child complain while they are grounded.


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    #113
    Graces7
    Registered Users Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Paddy Cow wrote: »
    Grounding shouldn't be a threat. Give a warning and then implement whatever punishment it is eg not going out with friends, taking phone for 1/2/3 days. You can defend it all you like but hitting isn't for the benefit of the child - it's so the parent can have a quick fix punishment and not have to listen to a child complain while they are grounded.

    we used to be sent to our rooms. It was a very real punishment when we wanted to be out playing with our friends.. could hear them outside...


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    #114
    Bobeagleburger
    Registered Users Posts: 45,262 ✭✭✭✭Bobeagleburger


    I can understand parents slapping children years ago as it was the done thing and research was sketchy or not available.

    Nowadays, as far as I'm aware there's no positive research for children who are slapped. On the flip side it's linked to a lot of negativity - mental health and academic problems for a start. It's shown to affect their brain.


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    #115
    One eyed Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 23,656 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack


    misterme123 wrote: »
    Just to be clear, smacking your kids is illegal.


    Just to be clear -

    No new offence has been created that explicitly prohibits the smacking of children as a form of punishment - however, the decision to remove the defence is a significant step.


    Parents no longer let 'chastise' children by smacking


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    #116
    Peatys
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,881 ✭✭✭Peatys


    Sleeper12 wrote: »
    Beaten with a strap at home and in school. The schools had specially made leather straps. I'd imagine the only place you could buy such a thing nowadays is in a sex shop.

    Same as the old days so


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    #117
    Peatys
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,881 ✭✭✭Peatys


    Bad parents hit kids. They don't realise they're bad parents as they were probably raised by bad parents.


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    #118
    IamtheWalrus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,075 ✭✭✭IamtheWalrus


    Slapped by my mother and occasionally it went beyond that. In hindsight, most likely abuse. Did me no good whatsoever.


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    #119
    _blaaz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,646 ✭✭✭_blaaz


    No....never,not even once...rarely even shouted at


    My father was never hit by his parents either,zero respect for anyone who has to resort to hitting their kids tbh


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    #120
    s7ryf3925pivug
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,007 ✭✭✭s7ryf3925pivug


    yes worse than slaps, not related to my behaviour.

    like most people their age who were violent with their kids, they act shocked at the notion of children being hit today. Hypocrite.


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    #121
    Sleeper12
    Registered Users Posts: 16,878 ✭✭✭✭Sleeper12


    Judging by some of the nastiness on other threads I suggest some didn't get slapped hard enough as a kid. :)


This discussion has been closed.
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