Is there anyone in your family you don't talk to?

Great to see some professional insight on Family estrangement.

I can only speak to my own experience.
I do have many friends and relatives who's familiies are what many would consider "normal".
Not quite the Walton's but the family conflict gets resolved and stays relatively contained.
I do however have some, including myself who reached a point in life where it became too much and choices were made.
The Irish family tradition of what happens at home stays at home is still quite prevelant and just because people dont talk, doesnt mean these issues dont happen

In my own case, the death of my Mother was the last straw in my putting myself at harm by continuing some relationships.
My mother(and no doubt many other's one too) was the centre of family life.
Fights, insults, grievance and even outright hatred were put aside to keep Mam happy, to have a quiet christmas, to avoid having her take sides or even have to listen her giving out

There was no will, no estate, no property for the rest of us to fall out over.
What there was, was an Epiphany for me at least...
In that I recognised a lot of my family as being little better than animals!
Eat, sleep and Fúck while extracting anything of benefit they could from those around them!

The lack of respect shown our Mother in her Death and their grief by her children and husband
Was the last straw for me and after 35yrs of being "the eldest", I stepped away from all of them bar my youngest brother who I am still close too.

What started as placing a little distance between my home and the rest of my family in not calling round, in putting my wife and child first turned into me being happier than I had been in quite a while.
It took about 2yrs to develop into actually realizing that the effect the rest of my family had on me was extremely toxic.

My kid still see's his uncles, aunts and cousins, and I still see my nieces and nephews.
My problems with them are not his and I'm not going to fight my battles through him
He's a young adult, my job is to equip him to deal with people good and bad, to allow him make his way in life in the happiest and healthiest way I can.
For him to do that, I cant force him to hate people nor would I.
I can and do hope however that he learns the lessons I did, a lot younger and with a lot less pain

None on my side but we don't speak to in laws and haven't for about 15 years. His siblings are not around his age. 2 older 10 and 8 years older and then 2 a lot younger born after he left home.

Oh has ASD and grew up in a family where there was extensive physical and emotional abuse directed at him only.

He wasn't diagnosed until he ran away from home at 14. Initially for the first years we were together I struggled to understand how he had distanced himself from them and actively trued to encourage a relationship. It wasn't until a few years passed and I got him to open up and I realised what he went through.


He has scarring on his body from beatings from him alcoholic father and mother ignored it and wouldn't allow him to get GP help for wounds so they never healed properly. His cousin's just older were actually removed from parents over similar treatment.

While undergoing therapy 15 years ago he was encouraged to discuss what happened when he was younger and speak to her about his diagnosis etc and ask why she never sought help etc as a child. She lost it with him and then his siblings etc all started on him for upsetting darling mummy.

They don't even know where we live. I have heard on the grapevine that she was looking for him a few years ago. About 2 years after we moved she must have written to last know address and post was returned.

We only live about 10k away from her currently but siblings all live abroad. As far as she's aware we live abroad too.

She doesn't as far as I'm aware even know she has a grandchild and from what I know of her she will never be let near him

eviltwin wrote: »

What else can you do when your family treat you like dirt, when they are toxic and damaging to your mental health and sense of security? I don't know anyone that is happy to be estranged from a family member, it's a personal tragedy to have no relationship with the people who are meant to be your closest allies. Please don't judge.

I've estranged myself from 1 person in my immediate family in the last 12 months. Not a day goes by when I think about them but I know it was the right decision. The pain is raw.

By association, a sibling has closed ranks and we're not connected anymore either.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone but the alternative is worse.

Black sheep of my family and haven't spoken to some of them in over 10 years.

Don't miss their cr%p and am frankly doing far better without any of them in my life.

My husband, after he told me he hopes I die of cancer being frustrated coz he didn't know how to boom flight tickets and I didn't wanted to do it for him 😊

cristali wrote: »

My husband, after he told me he hopes I die of cancer being frustrated coz he didn't know how to boom flight tickets and I didn't wanted to do it for him ��

Good God :eek::eek:

Get on grand with siblings and parents. We are the kind of family that are not all into each others business but at the same time all get on fairly well. We are scattered aroud a bit and when we do get together it is usually very nice.

On the other hand, don't have much to do with father in law anymore. Had a great relationship with him up to a few years ago, his wife passed away then and he turned into a right prick. Ended up making life very difficult for my OH and her siblings. When I called him out on one particular occasion he decided to get all offended, and that was enough for me.

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

It's nice to know I'm ultimately twice the man that prick will ever be.
.

Says who?????
Maybe youre the prick?
Why is everyone that posts on boards an angel?

I speak to my dad and sister. I'm on good terms with my dads family but my mums is a different story. She had 13 brothers and sisters and there was always someone fighting or not speaking to someone else. Right now there are two uncles and one aunt that I don't speak to. They treated my family horribly after my mum died. She took her own life so it was an incredibly difficult time. One of the uncles said some truly awful things to us the day after she died, while we were in the funeral home organising her funeral. He's a horrible man. The other uncle and aunt stood up at her inquest and basically tried to imply that my father was to blame for her death. They made an already difficult experience a hundred times worse. I know they were grieving too but they took it out on us, which I'll never forget.

I'll never forgive them for how they acted or how they made me feel. I haven't spoken to them in 9 years and I'm not one bit sorry. They're not nice people.

Estranged from one parent for the past year. There will be no resolution. My life has been a lot better since.
Not estranged, but not close at all with one sibling. To the point where even saying hello, how are you feels awkward.
Not close to another sibling as they moved abroad when I was still a kid. Probably to escape the parent I'm estranged from.