Gay scene dead & forgotten about

bs2014 · 12-01-2021 9:03pm #1

Just wondering how is everyone. I know times are really crap atm for everyone.

Is it just me or has the gay scene just vanished for good. For the first few months until say Sept/Oct, it was all fine cuz there was that feeling the scene and everything with it was just on pause. Aside from pride being cancelled, there seems to be absolutely minus 0 chances of meeting people, getting to know people, never mind dating. Aside from the bars not being open, there seems to be absolutely no opportunities for gay people to interact, I've been looking out for say zoom classes or wellbeing things for gay people but there is absolutely nothing.

Grindr and Tinder are dead nobody/less people chat than before March; perhaps a factor of people only wanting the ride on apps. I keep thinking maybe I should be moving to Dublin but I really don't think I would feel any different there. Other than having lots more closer gay people on grindr who still don't chat lol

I hope I don't seem selfish but a lot of the hype by the gov/media/organisations since March has been about old people, their welfare and looking out for them. I genuinely feel 'young people'; say under 35 have been totally forgotten about since March. Furthermore, we all know gay people have it tougher and struggle with mental health and that seems to be not acknowledged whatsoever. Elderly people isolating more often than not have sons/daughters/family phoning them/socially visiting outdoors. Many under 35s are living at home with family (perhaps some in the at risk) or house sharing 24/7 with other tenants and there is no sense of relief. That coupled with already feeling an outcast by society and there sense of identity feeling swept away with the pandemic is saddening. Much of the above can be applied to all under 35s but I think especially for LGBT under 35s and this is a LGBT forum.

Curious to know how others feel since March (not even just the last few weeks)

Thanks

berocca2016 · 12-01-2021 9:08pm

bs2014 wrote: »

Just wondering how is everyone. I know times are really crap atm for everyone.

Is it just me or has the gay scene just vanished for good. For the first few months until say Sept/Oct, it was all fine cuz there was that feeling the scene and everything with it was just on pause. Aside from pride being cancelled, there seems to be absolutely minus 0 chances of meeting people, getting to know people, never mind dating. Aside from the bars not being open, there seems to be absolutely no opportunities for gay people to interact, I've been looking out for say zoom classes or wellbeing things for gay people but there is absolutely nothing.

Grindr and Tinder are dead nobody/less people chat than before March; perhaps a factor of people only wanting the ride on apps. I keep thinking maybe I should be moving to Dublin but I really don't think I would feel any different there. Other than having lots more closer gay people on grindr who still don't chat lol

I hope I don't seem selfish but a lot of the hype by the gov/media/organisations since March has been about old people, their welfare and looking out for them. I genuinely feel 'young people'; say under 35 have been totally forgotten about since March. Furthermore, we all know gay people have it tougher and struggle with mental health and that seems to be not acknowledged whatsoever. Elderly people isolating more often than not have sons/daughters/family phoning them/socially visiting outdoors. Many under 35s are living at home with family (perhaps some in the at risk) or house sharing 24/7 with other tenants and there is no sense of relief. That coupled with already feeling an outcast by society and there sense of identity feeling swept away with the pandemic is saddening. Much of the above can be applied to all under 35s but I think especially for LGBT under 35s and this is a LGBT forum.

Curious to know how others feel since March (not even just the last few weeks)

Thanks

Hey,

I know that life can seem **** at the moment, but I think everyone feels like that.

I cant comment on the "apps" but I know that LGBT Ireland are running virtual social groups.

https://lgbt.ie

They're a lovely bunch of people so would not hesitate in reaching out to them even if you just fancy a chat about where your head is at.

They'll also be able to direct you to what's going on in your area as they're not solely Dublin centric.

Ten of Swords · 12-01-2021 9:59pm

bs2014 wrote: »

Is it just me or has the gay scene just vanished for good. For the first few months until say Sept/Oct, it was all fine cuz there was that feeling the scene and everything with it was just on pause. Aside from pride being cancelled, there seems to be absolutely minus 0 chances of meeting people, getting to know people

Not gone for good I hope, but yeah. It's really depressing to be honest, I'm climbing the walls myself

It's genuinely getting to me but I've kinda been internalizing and just getting on with it. Don't really have anything to add op but I feel your frustration.

Buddy Bubs · 12-01-2021 10:10pm

I don't think you can say under 35s/gays/singles have anything worse at the moment and every group I hear saying this just seem self centered.
Listening to leaving cert students talking about stress as if the leaving is the be all and end all.

Theres lonely single people, gay and straight, there's older people dying and there's people in relationships getting abused and beaten.

Theres retail and hospitality staff out of work, there's garda getting abuse on the streets and there's health workers getting sick at work.

Please don't try make this pandemic about a cross section of society.

eviltwin · 12-01-2021 10:14pm

If the worst thing that happens to you in this pandemic is your social life suffers consider yourself lucky. It’s not an age thing, we all want to go out, meet friends, date. Age is no limit to the loneliness.

corkgsxr · 13-01-2021 12:03am

Gay straight or anything there's very little avenue's. It's just the time were in

13-01-2021 2:14am

Every section of society is feeling it at the moment. We are social creatures no matter what age we are and we have been stripped of the ability to socialize.
It's good to acknowledge that there are those that have it worse than we do and have empathy and understanding. However, we do feel the impact to our own lives and our cross section of society. There is nothing wrong with vocalizing that and seeking support from your own community without being critized.
There are things we can do to help alleviate some of the boredom and isolation. Talking on the phone or Skype, zoom etc with family and friends rather than messaging all the time. There are people you know who feel the same way and would appreciate a call out of the blue. Getting an hour or more time outdoors everyday walking, running etc. Check out and do some of the thousands of free online courses that are available. Utilize the online supports such as lgbt.ie mentioned previously. If only we were all gamers, the pandemic would go by unnoticed almost.
It can be quite hard to remain positive at the moment. The end is in sight now, it might be several months away but this is definitely coming to an end so start planning for it.
I took up the challenge to complete 1,000,000 steps in 100 days last May. It was the best thing I have done in years. Highly recommend it for your mental and physical wellbeing. I have bipolar and I think that one activity plus support from 2 friends has got me this far without any serious mental health impact.

Heebie · 13-01-2021 1:26pm

I'm hoping that post-covid, Ireland will have a renaissance of gay culture.
Is really like to be able to live in a gay-majority neighborhood, and go back to gay clubs where I can be around like-minded people.
I'm hoping some of the prejudices that are prevalent among us will be reduced. Agism, seeing fetishes and kinks as "bad" and a million others.

We'll see what happens.

Annasopra · 13-01-2021 10:05pm

Running Amach - LGBTQ womens group is doing a lot of online stuff
https://www.meetup.com/Dublin-LGBTQ-Womens-Social-Networking-Club/

Wet and Wild did a few quizzes and bingo nights online
https://www.meetup.com/Wet-Wild/events/

There is a meditation group
https://www.meetup.com/LGBT-Meditation-Dublin

Tig98 · 13-01-2021 10:56pm

Heebie wrote: »

I'm hoping that post-covid, Ireland will have a renaissance of gay culture.
Is really like to be able to live in a gay-majority neighborhood, and go back to gay clubs where I can be around like-minded people.
I'm hoping some of the prejudices that are prevalent among us will be reduced. Agism, seeing fetishes and kinks as "bad" and a million others.

We'll see what happens.

Ageism is often carted out as an excuse by out-of-shape men aged 30+ who were rejected by lads who just finished the leaving cert. I know that may make me seem ageist, for all I know I might be, but in reality it doesn't really matter what age you are, as long as you're in good shape and look after yourself. That might be a bitter pill though.

I think that the dream of a utopia full of gay men is a bit regressive. It's great fun for a weekend, but it gets awfully bland after a while. The "gay community" is so diverse among all its members that it's hard to blanket us all into the one group unless it directly relates to common interests like marriage equality. I know a few lads who feel uncomfortable in the presence of straight men because they were treated very badly by them before, and it's completely understandable that scars linger. I don't think there is any real argument though for looking to hide us off in a corner of a city, because I think we'd be missing out on half the fun. Living in any Irish city or even many towns is a far cry from the Middle East, the reason there isn't a vibrant gay scene here is because there aren't any vibrant scenes at all.

AllForIt · 14-01-2021 2:02am

Heebie wrote: »

I'm hoping that post-covid, Ireland will have a renaissance of gay culture.
Is really like to be able to live in a gay-majority neighborhood, and go back to gay clubs where I can be around like-minded people.
I'm hoping some of the prejudices that are prevalent among us will be reduced. Agism, seeing fetishes and kinks as "bad" and a million others.

We'll see what happens.

I don't see how you can expect prejudice to be reduced when you say yourself you desire to live in a 'gay world'.

There is no gay world. It's just a social boozy thing and like any boozy nightcluby scene after a while you will find it all a bit shallow, which is exactly the same in the hetro social circuit.

I find it depressing that after the marriage ref there are still those who consider sexuality to be such an important thing such that you desire to live in an enclosed social circuit with 'likeminded' to the exclusion of others. If anyone needs to learn anything it is you.

Barna77 · 15-01-2021 1:27pm

I do miss going for a pint

I don't miss the scene at all.

Annasopra · 19-01-2021 11:34am

Theres a load of online stuff though that might be of interest. I know most wont but something might.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2083686645264146&id=1701916276774520

https://twitter.com/GayProjectIRL/status/1350861569899556866?s=19

https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/pride-at-work-tickets-127160936785

Gael23 · 19-01-2021 1:28pm

Feeling this too. Have been chatting to a guy the past while and i'd like to take things to the next stage but we cant

19-01-2021 1:35pm

bs2014 wrote: »

Just wondering how is everyone. I know times are really crap atm for everyone.

Is it just me or has the gay scene just vanished for good. For the first few months until say Sept/Oct, it was all fine cuz there was that feeling the scene and everything with it was just on pause. Aside from pride being cancelled, there seems to be absolutely minus 0 chances of meeting people, getting to know people, never mind dating. Aside from the bars not being open, there seems to be absolutely no opportunities for gay people to interact, I've been looking out for say zoom classes or wellbeing things for gay people but there is absolutely nothing.

Grindr and Tinder are dead nobody/less people chat than before March; perhaps a factor of people only wanting the ride on apps. I keep thinking maybe I should be moving to Dublin but I really don't think I would feel any different there. Other than having lots more closer gay people on grindr who still don't chat lol

I hope I don't seem selfish but a lot of the hype by the gov/media/organisations since March has been about old people, their welfare and looking out for them. I genuinely feel 'young people'; say under 35 have been totally forgotten about since March. Furthermore, we all know gay people have it tougher and struggle with mental health and that seems to be not acknowledged whatsoever. Elderly people isolating more often than not have sons/daughters/family phoning them/socially visiting outdoors. Many under 35s are living at home with family (perhaps some in the at risk) or house sharing 24/7 with other tenants and there is no sense of relief. That coupled with already feeling an outcast by society and there sense of identity feeling swept away with the pandemic is saddening. Much of the above can be applied to all under 35s but I think especially for LGBT under 35s and this is a LGBT forum.

Curious to know how others feel since March (not even just the last few weeks)

Thanks

it's all people not just gay people..let's not make this all about you because you think "Furthermore, we all know gay people have it tougher and struggle with mental health"

it seems like many of all persuasions, you are struggling which is true of everyone. How are you an outcast from society?

Annasopra · 19-01-2021 2:29pm

Mod

Could we please try to keep replies to this which are focused on giving helpful advice to the OP. Any issues - as always send me a pm.

19-01-2021 2:38pm

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

Mod

Could we please try to keep replies to this which are focused on giving helpful advice to the OP. Any issues - as always send me a pm.

then it's not a societal thread, it becomes personal issues fodder no? it's advice mainly then the poster wants?
and not opinion as to why the gay scene over all others is now dead?
Also who has forgotten it?? isn't that more a state of mind? or a hippocampus issue?

Annasopra · 19-01-2021 3:52pm

rusty cole wrote: »

then it's not a societal thread, it becomes personal issues fodder no? it's advice mainly then the poster wants?
and not opinion as to why the gay scene over all others is now dead?
Also who has forgotten it?? isn't that more a state of mind? or a hippocampus issue?

Mod

Fair enough. Lets try and keep it a respectful discussion. Do not respond to mod direction on thread.

Gay scene dead & forgotten about

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