The Off-Topic, insult, picture and everything else thread

TheNog · 10-11-2008 9:27pm #1

Okay its getting too serious in this Forum so time for a bit of release.

Funny stuff only, nature of post follows on from the post before it. Can be whatever you want - pics, jokes, songs whatever.

Whatever posts you like, Thank it. The more thanks a post gets wins a prize. Yeah right

First one

Donvito stills has the web cam on

timmywex · 10-11-2008 9:42pm

Ok, someone has to own up to this....

metman, this you perhaps?

One that has done the rounds im sure!

On a site note;

If only.......good advice all the same

Trojan911 · 10-11-2008 10:12pm

Ten reasons you know you married a cop....

10. When you start an argument, he calls for back-up

9. Refers to bedroom as "The Pokey"

8. Secret desire to see you in a Kevlar nightie

7. Calls farting his "silent alarm"

6. The obvious nightstick reference.

5. You never hear him say, " OH, Man.... not donuts again !!"

4. Refers to his winkie as "the ol' breathalyzer!"

3. Stops you in the middle of sex to ask you if you knew how fast you were going.

2. Handcuffs don't turn him on anymore.

1. YES, that IS a gun in his pocket !!!!!

Stop sign:

A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver's window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over.
"No," the man replied.
"You failed to stop at the stop sign," the cop explained.
"But I did slow down!" the guy argued.

The cop shook his head. "You are required to stop. That's why they're called stop signs."
The man started to get belligerent. "Stop, slow down -- what's the difference?"

The cop pulled out his baton. "I can show you. I'm going to start hitting you with my baton. You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down."

deadwood · 10-11-2008 10:12pm

TheNog wrote: »

Im...posss....ible..............to.......resist. Power.....is....so.....strong. Must........fight.......the urge...I can't. I can't. Who's that,
Yore Ma?

Oh no. I've followed through again.

deadwood · 10-11-2008 10:16pm

timmywex wrote: »

Heh, heh. Check out the exhaust!

Gavin · 10-11-2008 10:36pm

This should be mandatory watching for prison rejuvenation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj0mtxXEGE8

eroo · 10-11-2008 10:46pm

So this is what happens when The Nog visits After Hours. . . :P

eroo · 10-11-2008 11:23pm

Eh...jokes?

Indymedia is a credible source of information.

TheNog · 11-11-2008 12:42am

How not to deal with a difficult person

kerry4sam · 11-11-2008 12:44am

The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

First off, I couldn’t believe that the volume of traffic DIDN’T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the exit ramp! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 160 km/h enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 120 km/h!

Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn’t be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!

He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!

Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They’re not free points either - they’re €80 each and I was only allowed 2.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won’t be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won’t even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT’S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

deadwood · 11-11-2008 12:45am

eroo wrote: »

Eh...jokes?

Indymedia is a credible source of information.

Took a while.
The force is strong in this one.

deadwood · 11-11-2008 1:25am

maglite · 11-11-2008 1:30am

deadwood wrote: »

can i have the password?

deadwood · 11-11-2008 2:09am

maglite wrote: »

can i have the password?

Why yes. It's www.google.com/ihaveloadsoffreetimeonmyhandsandshouldreallygetahobby!

TheNog · 11-11-2008 2:11am

timmywex wrote: »

and check out to the immediate right of the reg plate.

She has a hairy, smiley bear

deadwood · 11-11-2008 2:16am

eroo wrote: »

So this is what happens when The Nog visits After Hours. . . :P

TheNog wrote: »

and check out to the immediate right of the reg plate.

She has a hairy, smiley bear

And this is what happens when Nog visits the drinks cabinet!

yayamark · 11-11-2008 3:36am

Page Not Found

The page - www.google.com/ihaveloadsoffreetimeonmyhandsandshouldreallygetahobby - does not exist.

Suggestions:
Check the spelling of the address you typed
If you are still having problems, please contact us

kerry4sam · 11-11-2008 4:38am

maglite wrote: »

can i have the password?

deadwood wrote: »

Why yes. It's www.google.com/ihaveloadsoffreetimeonmyhandsandshouldreallygetahobby!

yayamark wrote: »

Page Not Found

The page - www.google.com/ihaveloadsoffreetimeonmyhandsandshouldreallygetahobby - does not exist.

Suggestions:
Check the spelling of the address you typed
If you are still having problems, please contact us

TheNog · 11-11-2008 10:33am

deadwood wrote: »

And this is what happens when Nog visits the drinks cabinet!

TheNog · 11-11-2008 12:02pm

Just found this.

Reckon the Orange Men are modernising for next years round of parades

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMcalVKWkd8

This one gets my support though

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5slupiF3ZJw

eroo · 11-11-2008 7:00pm

The Lone Ranger and Silver

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party.
The Indian Chief proclaims, 'So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests.

What is your first request?'

The Lone Ranger responds, 'I'd like to speak to my horse.'

The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear and the horse gallops away.

Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.

As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed.

'You have a very fine and loyal horse but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?'

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon.

Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a brunette, even more attractive than the blonde. She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.

'You are indeed a man of many talents but I still kill you tomorrow. 'What is your last request?'

The Lone Ranger responds, 'I'd like to speak to my horse....alone! .'

The Chief is curious but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eyes and says,

'Listen very carefully you dumb ass horse. For the last time . . . BRING POSSEEEE'

Eru · 11-11-2008 8:05pm

kerry4sam · 12-11-2008 12:18am

classic TJ & TJ

working at the Dail: http://www.todayfm.com/goout.asp?u=http://audio.todayfm.com/files/dail-election-1.wma

at the Cork cocaine haul: http://www.todayfm.com/goout.asp?u=http://audio.todayfm.com/files/gardadrug-1.wma

Guards on bikes: http://www.todayfm.com/goout.asp?u=http://audio.todayfm.com/files/bikes-1.wma

deadwood · 12-11-2008 2:01pm

Hope this posts ok. Been doing the rounds for a while.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L62c5302pYY

deadwood · 12-11-2008 2:06pm

Mods, delete if this is a bit inappropriate. It's a doozy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw3Qv8LIEvQ

Mutz · 12-11-2008 3:31pm

deadwood wrote: »

Mods, delete if this is a bit inappropriate. It's a doozy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw3Qv8LIEvQ

Ah very fuuny!

Paulzx · 12-11-2008 3:52pm

Latest form of public transport in Dublin:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi44s2c-ecs

metman · 12-11-2008 4:28pm

The first two have been posted before, but for those who missed them here they are again! ARV silliness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pnVwkO6uKA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JJRr9BurPw

And this one is proof that our K9 cops don't always get it right...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQpu9UoXCeM

kerry4sam · 12-11-2008 6:08pm

beware of the Garda car when having the "one for the road"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2hhBSFuEEg

donvito99 · 12-11-2008 6:46pm

TheNog wrote: »

Okay its getting too serious in this Forum so time for a bit of release.

Funny stuff only, nature of post follows on from the post before it. Can be whatever you want - pics, jokes, songs whatever.

Whatever posts you like, Thank it. The more thanks a post gets wins a prize. Yeah right

First one

Donvito stills has the web cam on

Quite a striking resemblence actually.

ScubaDave · 12-11-2008 6:48pm

Classics

The Off-Topic, insult, picture and everything else thread

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