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Mental Health Crisis

  • 02-01-2019 4:01pm
    #1
    Oam75
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭


    Hi there

    My family and I are very alone in what to do to help a family member.
    Its a very long story. My sister has been suffering from depression for a number of years and has been trying to fix it herself without medical help.
    She(31) moved back in with my parents 68 and 77. Saying that in order for her to work through her problems she must work on her relationship with her father. To which she has treated deplorably..ignoring him, leaving the room when he would walk in..leaving the house through a different door..sceaming abuse and sometimes physical..my father has done nothing on her ever but be a loving father.
    A family meeting was called through a meditator for us all the speak to her in a safe environment..for my parents to gain control over the household and to respect them.
    After that she went mute...for 2 weeks no words to my parents while living in same house. She came down one day with coat on and wrote on paper she wanted keys to the garage...my mother did not know what to do as it scared her...another sister tried to get her talk to us but nothing and no reaction to my others sisters screams for concern.
    So over a period of 3 weeks we had called 3 ambulances, 2.5 weeks in hospital and sectioned by guards. She was deemed mentally stable by hse.
    At this moment she is on day 23 in her bedroom at parents house..coming out at dead of night to get food..another sister ttried to talk to her through her open bedroom window and was biten by this sister.
    We are stuck as to what to do..we are concerned for her mental health and my parents and the rest if us are actually afraid of her through other instances. We want her out of that room to other accommodation.
    Any advice would be great.


Comments

  • #2
    SuperRabbit
    Registered Users Posts: 698 ✭✭✭SuperRabbit


    It does sound like something diagnoseable, if you could get a diagnosis it might give you some idea what to do, but when she isn't talking to anyone it's hard to get that. A psychiatrist would be the only person qualified to make a diagnosis.

    Do you think it's a case of can't speak or won't speak? Her writing on a piece of paper makes me think maybe she can't actually speak when she is distressed.

    I wish I could help. It must be very distressing for all of you.


  • #3
    The Black Oil
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Regional East Moderators Posts: 18,196 CMod ✭✭✭✭The Black Oil


    Hi Oam75 - I've moved your thread from Psychology to Personal Issues. The PI charter now applies.

    Moderator: Television, Psychology and Dublin County North.

    CMod: Entertainment



  • #4
    BBFAN
    Registered Users Posts: 2,228 ✭✭✭BBFAN


    If she was sectioned by Gardaí, how is she home?


  • #5
    Oam75
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭Oam75


    SuperRabbit wrote: »
    It does sound like something diagnoseable, if you could get a diagnosis it might give you some idea what to do, but when she isn't talking to anyone it's hard to get that. A psychiatrist would be the only person qualified to make a diagnosis.

    Do you think it's a case of can't speak or won't speak? Her writing on a piece of paper makes me think maybe she can't actually speak when she is distressed.

    I wish I could help. It must be very distressing for all of you.

    Thank you..yes she has been seen by a psychiatrist 3 times with a 2.5 week stay in a unit..she turns on the charm and with assessment is mentally stable.

    I appreciate your reply...we are at our wits end...its the mental health of my parents i worry about as its hard for them to ignore this under their roof.


  • #6
    Oam75
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭Oam75


    BBFAN wrote: »
    If she was sectioned by Gardaí, how is she home?

    She was then assessed by a psychiatrist and deemed mentally stable. She turns on the charm. We begged to keep her in as my parents felt threatened by her previous behaviours. The unit called her a cab back to my parents and has been in room since.


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  • #7
    wiggle16
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,022 Mod ✭✭✭✭wiggle16


    I'm so sorry to hear this OP. You must be climbing up the walls. Your parents are elderly and must be finding it very difficult to cope with this. They shouldn't have to.

    My only real advice is to keep calling the HSE, the Gardaí, whoever. Just because someone has been sectioned and released does not mean they cannot be sectioned again. Keep calling them. Then call them again. And again until you get some sort of assistance.

    I would be the same way and would want her out of that room and out of the house entirely. You must be petrified for your parents. How do you think she would react if you did get her out of the room? How has she reacted before? And if you did get her out of the room, even the house entirely, what do you see happening next?

    It's tempting in situations like this to go on the offensive and make it difficult for her to keep this up, ie, making food inaccessible etc, but if you adopt a siege mentality to this then it will likely provoke a severe or violent reaction from her, based upon what you've said already.

    Keep calling the HSE/Gardaí, keep the pressure on them to remove her. Once she is out of the house, if I were you I would be arranging a locksmith for the front door (and remove or fill any locks on internal doors), both for her sake and your parents'. She can't repeat this behaviour. I might sound callous but your parents are too vulnerable themselves to care for her and you have to remove this cloistering as an option for her, if she makes her way back there.

    There is a list here of organisations you may find helpful in deciding how to proceed and how to cope in the meantime: https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057178293

    I'm sorry I can't be of more help but you need to keep at the HSE, and then prevent her from re-entering the house.


  • #8
    funkey_monkey
    Registered Users Posts: 8,043 ✭✭✭funkey_monkey


    Would you be able to video some of her behaviour to circumvent her playing up to the psychiatrist?
    Has she been violent to her parents or are they suffering from any stress due to this?
    Can you speak with her GP (assuming you are all at the same GP clinic)?


  • #9
    John368
    Registered Users Posts: 122 ✭✭John368


    I have cared for a relative with a serious mental health problem and I have suffered from depression myself.

    If you want to help your relative, you must first accept that you have to be willing to spend the time doing so. It is a big commitment, but often it is the only way. There will be conflicting views among families as what to do. However, the most help will be given to this relative by the person or persons who are willing to spend the time caring for her. The person caring for the relative at the minute appears to be her mother. Your focus should be on giving her mother assistance, unless one of the other members of the family is willing to take over her mother's job as carer for her.

    This relative is obviously getting help from the health authorities and other statuary authorities. Let them do their job. I would not push for a diagnosis if they are unwilling to give one at present.


  • #10
    Fakediamond
    Registered Users Posts: 1,054 ✭✭✭Fakediamond


    Hiya, sorry to hear you are all in this distressing situation, especially your elderly parents.

    One option for your parents would be to go to Court and get a protection order, which would prohibit your sister from verbally or physically abusing them in their home. They could take it a step further and get a barring order. I know these are extreme measures but sometimes taking drastic steps forces a change in behaviour, or obliges services to step in and help. Your parents have to consider their own safety and well-being too.

    If she is hospitalised again, she cannot be released without having an address, as per the Mental Health Act. If your parents refuse to take her back, a mental health Social Worker is obliged to source alternative accommodation for her and she cannot be discharged until this is found. It’s not a perfect system but there are ways to get the most from it.


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