Male Masseuse

....... · 03-12-2018 5:29pm

I cannot believe some of the posts on here.

Ive had many massages (deep tissue and otherwise), some by men, some by women.

At no point has anyone massaging me ever touched me with their groin. I fail to see how any type of massage would require contact with the persons penis, erect or not.

They work on you from either side. Why would their nether regions be in contact with your body AT ALL?

pwurple · 03-12-2018 6:09pm

seamus wrote: »

He's not a mind reader, he doesn't know that she can feel it or that she's uncomfortable.

Hey guys, is my penis in your ear bothering you?
How was I supposed to know, is this not normal?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

lmfao.

seamus · 03-12-2018 9:10pm

pwurple wrote: »

Hey guys, is my penis in your ear bothering you?
How was I supposed to know, is this not normal?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

lmfao.

If you're not going to engage with this honestly, then you're just wasting both our time.

Or if you genuinely think your post is analogous to the OP, then I don't know what to say. You might as well say that touching someone is a type of rape and get it over with.

Pelvis · 03-12-2018 9:39pm

seamus wrote: »

I have not had a massage from a male, but I have from a female, and I can say with absolute certainty that their lower body came into contact with me in the course of that massage.

If I was giving a massage that required this much contact and I happened to have an erection at the time, then I, being a logical human person, would probably go ahead and not do that thing which would result in me pushing up against an unwilling naked woman with my erection. In fact if this particular type of massage often gave me an erection, then I wouldn't offer to do it at all.

Getting one is normal of course, can't be helped. But I don't believe that the guy couldn't have done anything to stop it coming into contact with his client on multiple occasions, that seems a little weird to me.

One eyed Jack · 03-12-2018 10:44pm

seamus wrote: »

If you're not going to engage with this honestly, then you're just wasting both our time.

Or if you genuinely think your post is analogous to the OP, then I don't know what to say. You might as well say that touching someone is a type of rape and get it over with.

It’s a bit rich for you to claim someone else isn’t engaging honestly seamus when you come out with this -

seamus wrote: »

Even that's unfair. Just because he has an erection doesn't mean that he thinks the massage is "sexual", or that there is in any way a non-professional tone to it.

Genuinely, if I was aware that's what it was (I'm naive, I'd probably assume it was a phone or something!), but I was also satisfied that he wasn't deliberately rubbing it against me, then I wouldn't care.

Really? While an erection may well be an involuntary response, rubbing or brushing up against something knowing that they will be able to sense that you have an erection, is an entirely voluntary action.

And being unable to discern the difference between a phone and a penis? There’s Joey levels of naive, and there’s the 90’s called and wants it’s candybar phones back :pac:

I absolutely would care if a man became aroused while giving me a massage. There’s nothing inherently sexual about a sports massage, it’s a completely different context to a sexual massage, or a massage for any other purposes such as relaxation. I’ve received and given massages in various contexts over the years, and I’ve never become aroused while massaging anyone of the context wasn’t sexual. I’ve given full body massages and not once have I ever needed to use the full weight of my penis against a persons body while giving them a massage.

It just doesn’t happen unless it’s entirely intentional on the person giving a massage. If you’re aware of being touched, they’re even more aware of how and where they’re touching you. In the OPs case, the masseuse shouldn’t have been becoming aroused in the first place, and secondly should absolutely and without a doubt have excused himself and discontinued the session, both for the OPs sake, and for his own. He was obviously taking advantage of a situation where he thought the OP either wasn’t bothered, or was as naive as seamus.

That’s not a mars bar in his pocket either seamus :pac:

seamus · 04-12-2018 8:58am

One eyed Jack wrote: »

the masseuse shouldn’t have been becoming aroused in the first place

And you call me naive :rolleyes:

One eyed Jack · 04-12-2018 9:59am

seamus wrote: »

And you call me naive :rolleyes:

I didn’t call you naive seamus, you did. On the basis of what you wrote, I happen to agree with you, on this occasion at least - one would have to be incredibly naive to think a mans penis coming in contact with them during a massage is nothing to be concerned about, let alone imagine that it’s par for the course for men to become aroused while giving anyone a massage.

I know you said you have only ever received a massage from women, so you can’t really say one way or the other whether a man becoming aroused while giving a massage is normal. It isn’t, there’s no reason they could become aroused - their penis would not be coming in contact with anything (or shouldn’t, at least), and they should be of the mindset that they’re giving physiotherapy or massage therapy or a sports massage or whatever you want to call it. In a professional context it’s simply inappropriate and the masseuse could well have opened himself up to an allegation of sexual assault.

....... · 04-12-2018 10:48am

seamus wrote: »

If you're not going to engage with this honestly, then you're just wasting both our time.

Oh come on seamus.

seamus wrote: »

Or if you genuinely think your post is analogous to the OP, then I don't know what to say. You might as well say that touching someone is a type of rape and get it over with.

We are talking about touching someone WITH YOUR PENIS. Not just touching someone.

Its not some uncontrollable rogue body part that goes touching people by itself.

ted1 · 04-12-2018 11:23am

....... wrote: »

Oh come on seamus.

We are talking about touching someone WITH YOUR PENIS. Not just touching someone.

Its not some uncontrollable rogue body part that goes touching people by itself.

no it’s talking about brushing the groin area of a customer. You are implying that they are naked and intentionally holding out the penis to touch it if someone

....... · 04-12-2018 11:32am

ted1 wrote: »

no it’s talking about brushing the groin area of a customer. You are implying that they are naked and intentionally holding out the penis to touch it if someone

The customers groin wasnt touched.

The person giving the massage pressed his erection off the customer.

There is absolutely no need for a person to touch someone with their groin while giving a massage.

Lets be very clear here, a massage is not a full body contact activity. Its someone lying on a raised table with someone else leaning over them. If you had an erect penis and you were massaging a partially naked person, would you not endeavour NOT to touch your groin off them? I mean, even more so than normal? Would you not actively be scooting your groin away from the person (if you hadnt had the sense to excuse yourself I mean?).

Its borderline sexual assault IMO. I would be reporting it.

sullivlo · 04-12-2018 11:40am

If it was an accidental brush of an erection I would be a bit miffed. If it happened again, I would say it. Erections can happen spontaneously (I guess, I don’t own a penis). If my masseuse had an erection and it touched off me, I would be uncomfortable, but it wouldn’t be disastrous. If he did it immediately again, then I would complain.

Accidents happen. Repeated accidents are not accidents.

I had a sports massage on my glute* last year. It was really tight and the physio needed to approach it from various angles. One of those angles resulted in my foot coming into contact with his groin. This was through no fault of him - he needed to get into a specific location and my foot did engage with his penis. But we were grown ups about it.

Had it been erect, it would have been a problem.

*fun fact - glute autocorrected to flute.

ted1 · 04-12-2018 11:42am

Are we sure it was an erect penis and not a phone or similar in the pocket ? Or just a large flacid penis.

osarusan · 04-12-2018 2:16pm

A guy can't help it if he gets an erection, it's involuntary.

But I'd expect any masseuse in that situation would be ultra-conscious of their penis making contact with the client, and surely the default assumption is that it's going to make a client feel uncomfortable if contact (repeated contact) is made.

I think it's extremely unlikely that the masseuse either didn't notice the contact, or didn't imagine it would likely make the client uncomfortable.

The whole thing may have been unintentional, or at least, unavoidable, considering the extent of contact in a massage. And it could have mortified the masseuse also, of course.

One problem is that they seemingly didn't make any effort to communicate that to their client (awkward though that conversation would have been). If he works out of a well-known establishment with a decent reputation, I wonder if there is some 'best practice' in terms of how to deal with it. I wouldn't think that 'just ignore it/pretend it never happened' is best practice.

AndrewJRenko · 06-12-2018 10:10pm

pwurple wrote: »

Hey guys, is my penis in your ear bothering you?

Pardon?

M.m.m. · 28-12-2018 4:54pm

panda100 wrote: »

I've been going to the same male masseuse for the last 3 months for a full body massage. I play a lot of sports and this guy is pretty strong so he gets into all the knots. He works out of a well know massage parlour in my city and is well experienced.

In the first session he put a towel over my breasts while he massaged my stomach and shoulders. He then said do I want him to massage my full chest, under my breasts etc. I have no problem with nudity etc so said yes. He took off the towel and massaged my chest which included my breasts. At no stage did I feel anything sexual whatsoever about this. It was just apart of a good full body massage. Had another massage from him last month, same thing again and it was fine.

This evening he gave me a full body massage again, towel came off my breasts again after he asked if I wanted full chest massage. Any who, for the remainder of the massage I could feel his erection anytime he moved against me. It was extremely uncomfortable! I did not know what to do.

I said it to my friend and she was appalled about the whole thing. She said it is not right for a male masseuse to massage a women's chest like that. As I said up until the erection this evening I never felt like there was anything sexual about it.

Anyone with similar experiences? I'm so annoyed as he really gave a great massage and my sports times are improving as a result. Would like to know others thoughts and experiences of male masseuse if any?

Hi there,

I was going to a woman for massage but she got cancer and is now recovering so I picked up a flyer about a guy and I too need a sports massage due to partaking in sports as well.

Anyway the first time was grand, Im used to the pain and I was looking forward to getting a male massage due to their strength and getting the knots out. I told him I mainly want my legs done and knew I may need my back done since it usually starts in the back or glutes so I was okay about that.

The second time I went he asked me to remove my bra, I was okay about that as I was gripping the towel around my chest and felt like I got to know him a bit better.

Then towards the end of the massage he was massaging around my clavicle, i just had this feeling that he was edging towards my chest. He also took it upon himself to tuck the other towel into the front of my bottoms himself. I was talking to my sister and telling her I felt a bit uneasy around him but she was saying sure what else is he supposed to do, you're going for a massage.

Yesterday I went for a massage again thinking it was all in my head and I need to chill out a bit since my leg is quite tight I tend to need massages so need to get over it.

We were a bit into the message again and this time he asked me have I ever done massage. I said no and he said that's a pity we could give each other massages. I still was okay about that but then he went to massage my stomach and was saying something about the area around the hip being nice and then he went to the clavicle again. He then said out of the blue ''do you want me to massage your breasts''.

I just said no, then I said I don't like anyone touching me. Then I felt confused. I was wondering if this was a regular thing he does with all his clients and I'm just being paranoid. It was so matter of fact, in the next sentence he was telling me how tight my neck was.

Anyway I got up and was leaving and I noticed the door was locked, fair enough. Then we got outside and the waiting room door was also locked. Jez, i couldn't wait to get out and was pressing the bell instead of turning the key but was acting cool all the same.

I was speaking to my friend who massaged for years and she said you don't go near the groin or breasts.

greenspurs · 11-01-2019 12:53pm

panda100 wrote: »

Personally I thought the breast massage was really good from that point of view. He wasn't touching the nipples or anything. It was just under the breast and at the side and then sweeping down my chest. This area can get sore when you're wearing bra's all the time especially with sports. I swim a lot so it's very beneficial to have the sides of my chest massaged.

Iv'e met the masseuse in the gym since this incident. Now I'm starting to think was it all in my head and maybe what I felt wasn't what I felt I think the breast massage thing just made me hyper vigilant about it all.

Have any of the "Outraged" people on here seen this post by the OP ?
I know it wouldn't fit into the agenda that some people are trying to shoehorn (ahem) into the thread......

Pelvis · 11-01-2019 1:21pm

greenspurs wrote: »

Have any of the "Outraged" people on here seen this post by the OP ?
I know it wouldn't fit into the agenda that some people are trying to shoehorn (ahem) into the thread......

Which agenda is that? The one where people say a guy shouldn't be rubbing his hard cock against a woman he's massaging?

OP got a breast massage, didn't feel it was sexual in the slightest.

Next time OP gets a breast massage, she thinks she feels the guys erection on more than one occasion. Suddenly, and logically, OP feels there may be a sexual element to the massage and feels uncomfortable.

It's not difficult.

greenspurs · 14-01-2019 9:53am

Pelvis wrote: »

Which agenda is that? The one where people say a guy shouldn't be rubbing his hard cock against a woman he's massaging?

OP got a breast massage, didn't feel it was sexual in the slightest.

Next time OP gets a breast massage, she thinks she feels the guys erection on more than one occasion. Suddenly, and logically, OP feels there may be a sexual element to the massage and feels uncomfortable.

It's not difficult.

"rubbing " ? How do you know he rubbed it?
Because the OP is now unsure it even happened !?
Anyway, work away on the insinuations and maybe's ......

:rolleyes:

....... · 14-01-2019 11:59am

greenspurs wrote: »

"rubbing " ? How do you know he rubbed it?
Because the OP is now unsure it even happened !?
Anyway, work away on the insinuations and maybe's ......

:rolleyes:

And how do you know he didnt?

Anyway, work away on the insinuations and maybes.

pwurple · 14-01-2019 6:11pm

Not sure what your point is greenspurs... it's fairly normal for someone experiencing something weird, out of the ordinary, to doubt themselves, and start to think maybe it didn't happen.

It's well documented as part of the way our brain protects us from stress and traumatic experiences generally. It's called disassociation or plasticity.

greenspurs · 16-01-2019 10:24am

pwurple wrote: »

Not sure what your point is greenspurs... it's fairly normal for someone experiencing something weird, out of the ordinary, to doubt themselves, and start to think maybe it didn't happen.

It's well documented as part of the way our brain protects us from stress and traumatic experiences generally. It's called disassociation or plasticity.

Oh wow....
Theres a reach ...
Next you'll be saying that it might be Post Traumatic Stress !!

Girl cutting my hair , she touched my shoulder, and both elbows with her boobs - Is that the same ??

My point is the OP posted that she wasn't sure , and that all theposters that got outraged on her behalf, and seemed to be more upset than she was !!

Erections happen, and MAYBE it rubbed off her while the guy was reaching over, or MAYBE he was touching it off her - and that's wrong.

Or maybe it wasn't as bad as she originally thought ? We will never know for sure, so calm down with the accusations and insinuations and exaggerations just for dramatic effect !!

....... · 16-01-2019 12:49pm

greenspurs wrote: »

Oh wow....
Theres a reach ...

I thought the idea around here was that we take the posts at face value and not try to discredit someone or deny their experience?

greenspurs · 16-01-2019 4:08pm

....... wrote: »

I thought the idea around here was that we take the posts at face value and not try to discredit someone or deny their experience?

So my posts can be contradicted, but I cant do the same ?? How does that work ?? Surely rational (well, fairly rational) debate is the idea on message boards !
( I nearly typed mAssage board !!

)

....... · 16-01-2019 4:25pm

greenspurs wrote: »

So my posts can be contradicted, but I cant do the same ?? How does that work ?? Surely rational (well, fairly rational) debate is the idea on message boards !
( I nearly typed mAssage board !! )

You are contradicting the reported experience of the OP and suggesting its all about an agenda.

You actually stated "how do you know he rubbed it".

This is not contradicting a post - this is contradicting a reported experience.

Its fair enough to say, well maybe he didnt mean to touch off you - and a number of people have said that. But you are actually trying to suggest it didnt happen at all. Can you not see the difference there?

greenspurs · 16-01-2019 4:57pm

....... wrote: »

You are contradicting the reported experience of the OP and suggesting its all about an agenda.

You actually stated "how do you know he rubbed it".

This is not contradicting a post - this is contradicting a reported experience.

Its fair enough to say, well maybe he didnt mean to touch off you - and a number of people have said that. But you are actually trying to suggest it didnt happen at all. Can you not see the difference there?

No, no I'm not saying that. Not once did I say that. Why would I doubt her ? I have suspicions both ways, but they don't count, as they are only suspicions. . I only asked why people were just about crying Rape about this going on the same suspicions/evidence.

I posted that the OP stated that she was unsure that it happened, that she doubted herself after the initial feeling that he was rubbing his erection on her, and that means that should be taken into account.

I then asked the person/persons why they were insinuating that the masseur was doing it intentionally and was getting off on it. THAT was what I questioned.
How/Why do they think that ? How could they suspect someone on the strength of what was posted before , and then subsequently doubted by the OP.

Maybe you cant see the difference........

....... · 16-01-2019 5:08pm

....... wrote: »

You actually stated "how do you know he rubbed it".

greenspurs wrote: »

No, no I'm not saying that. Not once did I say that.

eh:

greenspurs wrote: »

"rubbing " ? How do you know he rubbed it?
... :rolleyes:

greenspurs · 16-01-2019 5:12pm

"How do you know he rubbed it" as in ..

The op posted "I could feel his erection anytime he moved against me" ...

The other posters then surmised that he was rubbing it against her, and I asked the OTHER POSTERS, not the OP , - "How do you know he rubbed it" .

Simple !

greenspurs · 16-01-2019 5:18pm

For Example - Post #10 ......

"Surely this is unwanted sexual contact? We're talking about rubbing an erection against an unconsenting client.

Isn't that a minor sexual assault? "..........

That's the kind of crazy stuff I was questioning !! The poster of Post#10 says "WE'RE" - speaking on everyones behalf) talking about RUBBING AN ERECTION .......

The poster got that from reading this "I could feel his erection anytime he moved against me" ....

NOT AT ALL is it the same thing!! Not at all nice to happen, but not as bad , seemingly as the other posters tried to make it !!!

I hope you can understand it now ????

....... · 16-01-2019 5:30pm

greenspurs I am not going to drag the thread any further off topic by debating with you on whether or not what happened was intentional. Only the masseuse knows for sure, no one else.

However I am strongly of the opinion that it was not an accident as a penis is not some kind of rubber limb that you are unaware of the location of. A single touch might be accidental. Repeated touches are not. The OP reported she could feel it "anytime" he moved against here - thats not accidental and frankly it is a preposterous to suggest it is.

pwurple · 17-01-2019 8:14am

greenspurs wrote: »

Oh wow....
Theres a reach ...
Next you'll be saying that it might be Post Traumatic Stress !!

For someone saying everyone else is over sensitive... you really like the old exclamation points and overreactions. :rolleyes:

No reaching needed, the brain generally tries to protect itself from harm. Not an entirely shocking concept surely.

Male Masseuse

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