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Sexism you have personally experienced or have heard of? *READ POST 1*

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  • #92
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 11,966 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    I'm fairly uncomfortable with this - the guy from the Diet Coke ad is on display in the window of BT2 today on Grafton Street. Odd to say the least and just there for people to have a gawk at. Not sure if it's sexist or something else but I can't imagine (these days) that putting a female in a window just standing there would go down too well.

    https://twitter.com/brownthomas/status/311812396488458240


  • #93
    Playboy
    Registered Users Posts: 2,923 ✭✭✭Playboy


    No
    miamee wrote: »
    I'm fairly uncomfortable with this - the guy from the Diet Coke ad is on display in the window of BT2 today on Grafton Street. Odd to say the least and just there for people to have a gawk at. Not sure if it's sexist or something else but I can't imagine (these days) that putting a female in a window just standing there would go down too well.

    https://twitter.com/brownthomas/status/311812396488458240

    I dont have an issue with either sex being displayed in partial nudity for the aesthetic enjoyment of others as long as there isnt a double standard in respect to how that is perceived. The human form is attractive and people like to look at it... I'm not sure what the big deal is. Some women seem to be afraid of being objectified but some people like to be objectified and surely it is personal choice if someone wants to be perceived in a certain way or not.


  • #94
    GalwayGuy2
    Registered Users Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    I'm fairly uncomfortable with this - the guy from the Diet Coke ad is on display in the window of BT2 today on Grafton Street. Odd to say the least and just there for people to have a gawk at. Not sure if it's sexist or something else but I can't imagine (these days) that putting a female in a window just standing there would go down too well.

    https://twitter.com/brownthomas/stat...12396488458240

    Looks a bit odd. Maybe if he had his shirt off or something, or they caught him looking awkward:S

    Tbh, its more the double standards thing rather than men actually being "objectified". Maybe it doesn't happen to men as much, or we just don't pay attention to it?


  • #95
    Feathers
    Registered Users Posts: 1,082 ✭✭✭Feathers


    I've been slapped in the face by a girl that I knew because I wouldn't dance with her.

    I was getting the vibe that asking to dance was meant to be a signal. I was seeing someone at the time, & this girl was really drunk so I said I'd steer clear. I also didn't want to dance really regardless - it wasn't that type of pub & I was catching up with friends I hadn't seen in months.

    So just told her I didn't feel like dancing - she asked me a few more times & then slapped me across the face and walked off. Talk about out of proportion...


    Another time that comes to mind would be working in the electrical section of a department store. Women would assume I knew nothing about hoovers, irons, hair straighteners, etc.

    If I asked if they needed help I'd get fobbed off. One old dear said "sure what would you know about irons!?". I was in college at the time doing all my own housework (and in a perfectly ironed shirt at the time).

    They'd then get help from the nearest female member of staff, who in turn would call me back over to answer the questions.


  • #96
    Liam McPoyle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,846 ✭✭✭✭Liam McPoyle


    No
    I wouldn't consider getting slapped by yer one as sexist,she just sounds like a bitch.

    As for the home appliances one,that's actually pretty funny as it perpetuates the stereotype that the woman's place is to deal with household appliances etc,people like that are doing more harm to women than most men could!


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  • #97
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    Necronos wrote: »
    I wouldn't consider getting slapped by yer one as sexist,she just sounds like a bitch.
    Being slapped in the face by a woman is not sexist.

    Being slapped in the face by a woman, because she feels entitled to do so as a woman, and/or that this is not treated in the same way, by others, because she is a woman, rather than a man, is sexist.


  • #98
    clairefontaine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,390 ✭✭✭clairefontaine


    Necronos wrote: »
    I wouldn't consider getting slapped by yer one as sexist,she just sounds like a bitch.

    As for the home appliances one,that's actually pretty funny as it perpetuates the stereotype that the woman's place is to deal with household appliances etc,people like that are doing more harm to women than most men could!

    I think it is sexist.

    It's a direct product of the expectation set out about by both men and women that men want sex all the time and with anyone and if they don't they are fags or deranged.


  • #99
    kiddums
    Registered Users Posts: 1,308 ✭✭✭kiddums


    clairefontaine wrote: »
    I think it is sexist.

    It's a direct product of the expectation set out about by both men and women that men want sex all the time and with anyone and if they don't they are fags or deranged.
    I would agree it is sexist, but not for the reason you say. I would say its sexist that she feels she can slap him. What would happen if he slapped her? He would be the worst person in the world for hitting a woman.
    She clearly feels that its ok for her to hit him, so would it be fair to say a man could hit her without reprocussions?

    I'm not saying its ok to hit a woman, I'm saying its not ok to hit anyone like that.
    Outside of sport or a very light joking slap, hitting should not be tolerated in anyway. Nothing to do with this gender divide that women can hit men as they see fit, but men who hit women are the scum of the earth.
    I say pick a side. Say hitting is ok either way, or not ok outside of sport.


  • #100
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    kiddums wrote: »
    I would agree it is sexist, but not for the reason you say. I would say its sexist that she feels she can slap him. What would happen if he slapped her? He would be the worst person in the world for hitting a woman.
    She clearly feels that its ok for her to hit him, so would it be fair to say a man could hit her without reprocussions?

    I'm not saying its ok to hit a woman, I'm saying its not ok to hit anyone like that.
    Outside of sport or a very light joking slap, hitting should not be tolerated in anyway. Nothing to do with this gender divide that women can hit men as they see fit, but men who hit women are the scum of the earth.
    I say pick a side. Say hitting is ok either way, or not ok outside of sport.

    I think most men think it's unthinkanle to hit a woman (which is good) but wouldn't think twice about seeing a man hit another man, or hitting one themselves if they were provoked. I think that's sexist.

    Really nobody should hit anybody unless it's self defence, regardless of gender. But I don't think it will change anytime soon. People will always revolt in horror at a man hitting a woman, but think nothing of a brawl between two lads.


  • #101
    clairefontaine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,390 ✭✭✭clairefontaine


    kiddums wrote: »
    I would agree it is sexist, but not for the reason you say. I would say its sexist that she feels she can slap him. What would happen if he slapped her? He would be the worst person in the world for hitting a woman.
    She clearly feels that its ok for her to hit him, so would it be fair to say a man could hit her without reprocussions?

    I'm not saying its ok to hit a woman, I'm saying its not ok to hit anyone like that.
    Outside of sport or a very light joking slap, hitting should not be tolerated in anyway. Nothing to do with this gender divide that women can hit men as they see fit, but men who hit women are the scum of the earth.
    I say pick a side. Say hitting is ok either way, or not ok outside of sport.

    The thing is though, it's ok for women to hit other women for alot of the culture, or at least an open hand slap.

    And you can still slap your kids in some countries, like France.


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  • #102
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    clairefontaine wrote: »
    The thing is though, it's ok for women to hit other women for alot of the culture, or at least an open hand slap.

    And you can still slap your kids in some countries, like France.
    All you're telling us is that it can be culturally acceptable for everyone to hit everyone else, except for men to hit women.


  • #103
    clairefontaine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,390 ✭✭✭clairefontaine


    The Corinthian wrote: »
    All you're telling us is that it can be culturally acceptable for everyone to hit everyone else, except for men to hit women.

    That is kind of how it appears doesn't it?

    You might frown on it but when women start hitting each other doesn't everyone get a big smile on their face and cry "cat fight!"


  • #104
    kiddums
    Registered Users Posts: 1,308 ✭✭✭kiddums


    jaffacakesyum wrote: »
    I think most men think it's unthinkanle to hit a woman (which is good) but wouldn't think twice about seeing a man hit another man, or hitting one themselves if they were provoked. I think that's sexist.

    Really nobody should hit anybody unless it's self defence, regardless of gender. But I don't think it will change anytime soon. People will always revolt in horror at a man hitting a woman, but think nothing of a brawl between two lads.
    I didn't think about it to that extent. I guess that makes me sexist then as if I'm provoked, i'll punch a bloke, but won't hit a woman.
    But if I'm provoked I'd lump it in with self defence. I won't just go out hitting people.
    clairefontaine wrote: »
    That is kind of how it appears doesn't it?

    You might frown on it but when women start hitting each other doesn't everyone get a big smile on their face and cry "cat fight!"
    I don't. So thats your everyone gone.
    I usually try and break it up if I know them. If I don't, I won't as I've been accused of all sorts once I try and stop them. Thankfully theres always been enough people around that means nothing ever happened.


    Which actually leads me on to the point of how easy it is for a woman to accuse a man of something like rape and he has to prove his innonce (in society), if a man accuses a woman he has to prove it happened (again in society).


  • #105
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    clairefontaine wrote: »
    You might frown on it but when women start hitting each other doesn't everyone get a big smile on their face and cry "cat fight!"
    Perhaps, but you're seriously veering away from the topic.
    kiddums wrote: »
    Which actually leads me on to the point of how easy it is for a woman to accuse a man of something like rape and he has to prove his innonce (in society), if a man accuses a woman he has to prove it happened (again in society).
    Defence in a rape trial is not as simple as that, a woman's testimony or accusation alone is unlikely to convict a man.

    As for a man accusing a woman of rape, well in Ireland that doesn't happen, because legally a woman cannot commit rape.


  • #106
    RainyDay
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,925 ✭✭✭RainyDay


    clairefontaine wrote: »


    And you can still slap your kids in some countries, like France.
    and Ireland.


  • #107
    kiddums
    Registered Users Posts: 1,308 ✭✭✭kiddums


    The Corinthian wrote: »
    Perhaps, but you're seriously veering away from the topic.

    Defence in a rape trial is not as simple as that, a woman's testimony or accusation alone is unlikely to convict a man.

    As for a man accusing a woman of rape, well in Ireland that doesn't happen, because legally a woman cannot commit rape.
    I know that in law, I'm talking about in society. Two quite different things in this day and age.
    And I think you've just brought another aspect, but I think thats heading off topic for this thread.


  • #108
    kiffer
    Registered Users Posts: 2,097 ✭✭✭kiffer


    No
    Necronos wrote: »
    As for the home appliances one,that's actually pretty funny as it perpetuates the stereotype that the woman's place is to deal with household appliances etc,people like that are doing more harm to women than most men could!

    Even when sexism is directed at men by women, women are the victim... ?
    It perpetuates the stereotype that men are incompetent with regards to house hold issues.


  • #109
    Carlos Orange
    Registered Users Posts: 2,499 ✭✭✭Carlos Orange


    No
    kiffer wrote: »
    Even when sexism is directed at men by women, women are the victim... ?

    Welcome to the 21st century.


  • #110
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    kiddums wrote: »
    I know that in law, I'm talking about in society.
    You mean trial by mob - no smoke without fire? Sorry, you didn't make it clear.
    kiffer wrote: »
    Even when sexism is directed at men by women, women are the victim... ?
    He has a point. The irony, I find, is many of the residual patriarchal prejudices that remain around women are ignored, or even promoted (e.g. woman as the constant 'victim'), by feminism.

    Look at an area like father's rights, or lack thereof. On one side it is based upon the idea that a woman's role is to care for the children, thus shutting men out of the role and giving women an effective monopoly on it. Yet the pressure to adopt this role, because of this prejudice, is also the principle reason why women tend to end up having lower long term salary expectations, as well as less representation in politics and at the boardroom.

    Apparently quotas are the answer...


  • #111
    heartseeker
    Registered Users Posts: 110 ✭✭heartseeker


    I know somebody that works in a financial institution that employs 70% women and he says that the sexist beliefs from women that he has to put up with are ridiculous ie.team leaders openly stating that men can't multitask and expected to do every and all of the most basic of physical tasks like lifting a box. Nearly always its not worth stating the obvious sexism involved because of the backlash from feminist campaigners who rally the troops as such.Machoism isn't right but masculinity is definitely somewhat under attack.If males are expected to do these jobs they should at least get the credit for them :-)


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  • #112
    ChunkyLover54
    Registered Users Posts: 564 ✭✭✭ChunkyLover54


    donfers wrote: »
    I have had the "are you gay?" thing multiple times if i didn't respond to a woman's advances, sometimes they use it as a defense mechanism to justify the "rejection"

    Kind of in a similar vein but recently myself and my friend were standing in a busy pub here in Galway chatting and having a drink.

    A girl walked up to me and asked me did we know each other as she swore she recognised my face. I said I didn't think so. She insisted she had seen my face before and looked at me expectantly. All I could think of to reply was "thats a possibility". Then she walked off.

    Anyhow a short time later we decided to leave. We were crossing this dance-floor type space to get to the door. The girl just happened to be dancing with her friends and when I passed by her she took her drink and threw it in my face. Bear in mind that I did nothing to provoke this - no insults, no dirty looks, no ass-grabbing, nothing.

    Afterwards my friend suggested that earlier on when she started chatting to me that maybe she was interested in me and she was pissed off that I didn't respond. Thinking back I thought, perhaps, perhaps not.

    Obviously the girl was drunk and unhinged but still, I felt if I ever behaved that way to a women in a bar I would be quickly ejected from the premises. As it was, anyone watching the scene would probably assume that, as the guy, I probably deserved to have a drink thrown in my face.


  • #113
    Three Seasons
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 548 ✭✭✭Three Seasons


    ChunkyLover54 wrote: »

    Kind of in a similar vein but recently myself and my friend were standing in a busy pub here in Galway chatting and having a drink.

    A girl walked up to me and asked me did we know each other as she swore she recognised my face. I said I didn't think so. She insisted she had seen my face before and looked at me expectantly. All I could think of to reply was "thats a possibility". Then she walked off.

    Anyhow a short time later we decided to leave. We were crossing this dance-floor type space to get to the door. The girl just happened to be dancing with her friends and when I passed by her she took her drink and threw it in my face. Bear in mind that I did nothing to provoke this - no insults, no dirty looks, no ass-grabbing, nothing.

    Afterwards my friend suggested that earlier on when she started chatting to me that maybe she was interested in me and she was pissed off that I didn't respond. Thinking back I thought, perhaps, perhaps not.

    Obviously the girl was drunk and unhinged but still, I felt if I ever behaved that way to a women in a bar I would be quickly ejected from the premises. As it was, anyone watching the scene would probably assume that, as the guy, I probably deserved to have a drink thrown in my face.

    You should have told the bouncers about her behaviour and had her ejected.


  • #114
    getzls
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 806 ✭✭✭getzls


    About woman getting away with touching men.

    I was sixteen in my first job. At times you had to use a lift.

    There was this woman aged about 25 who anytime i was caught in the lift with would have had my trousers off if i had let her.

    The least i got away with was being groped.

    Must admit i was too young to appreciate it.:(

    A couple of years later i would have done.:D


  • #115
    The Corinthian
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,777 ✭✭✭✭The Corinthian


    getzls wrote: »
    Must admit i was too young to appreciate it.:(

    A couple of years later i would have done.:D
    You've actually, in those two lines, demonstrated why such sexism actually exits.

    Southpark actually did a satire on this topic a few years ago, on the back the infamous Debra Lafave case. As was popularly seen with the Lafave case, the attitude of an attractive female adult teacher having sex with an under-age male student was that somehow he was 'lucky'.

    This despite the reason for why sex with minors is illegal; because they are too young to give informed consent to an act that can lead to serious repercussions. Less said about how the media or the courts treat the same thing when the genders are reversed, the better.

    Now I'm not blaming you for coming out with this same attitude here, if anything it goes to show the extent to which this prejudice is ingrained in our society - that even the victim of such an act can consider himself (almost) 'lucky' to be (almost) abused.


  • #116
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    getzls wrote: »
    About woman getting away with touching men.

    I was sixteen in my first job. At times you had to use a lift.

    There was this woman aged about 25 who anytime i was caught in the lift with would have had my trousers off if i had let her.

    The least i got away with was being groped.

    Must admit i was too young to appreciate it.:(

    A couple of years later i would have done.:D

    Jesus Christ that's awful :( But you're last line kind of shows why female on male sexual assault isn't taken seriously...the problem doesn't come from just women not taking it seriously, it's men with the attitude that they're lucky if someone gropes them :eek:


  • #117
    The Pheasant
    Registered Users Posts: 372 ✭✭The Pheasant


    The Corinthian wrote: »
    You've actually, in those two lines, demonstrated why such sexism actually exits.

    Southpark actually did a satire on this topic a few years ago, on the back the infamous Debra Lafave case. As was popularly seen with the Lafave case, the attitude of an attractive female adult teacher having sex with an under-age male student was that somehow he was 'lucky'.

    This despite the reason for why sex with minors is illegal; because they are too young to give informed consent to an act that can lead to serious repercussions. Less said about how the media or the courts treat the same thing when the genders are reversed, the better.

    Now I'm not blaming you for coming out with this same attitude here, if anything it goes to show the extent to which this prejudice is ingrained in our society - that even the victim of such an act can consider himself (almost) 'lucky' to be (almost) abused.

    Kyle: [appears at the breakroom entrance] Ex, excuse me? [the officers look, and he walks in] My name is... Brad. And uh I need to report a crime. Anonymously.
    Yates: Oh? What's the crime?
    Kyle: Well, I attend South Park Elementary, ah-and... w-one of the teachers is having sssex with a student.
    Yates: Oh my God! This is terrible! [other officers say other things. Yates and another officer get on bended knee next to Kyle] Ya-you did the right thing telling the police, Brad. Now, who is the teacher? What's his name?
    Kyle: Well, it isn't a guy teacher. It's a woman.
    Officer 1: A woman.
    Kyle: Yeah. She's having sex with a boy. [the officer to his right is taking notes.]
    Officer 2: Oh, but, but she's ugly, right?
    Kyle: Well no, not really. It's the Kindergerten teacher, Miss Stevenson.
    Yates: The blonde?
    Kyle: Yeah.
    Officer 1: Some young boy is having sex with Miss Stevenson?
    Kyle: [firmly] Yes.
    Officer 1: Nisssse.
    Yates: Nnice.
    Kyle: What?! No, you don't understand-
    Officer 1: You sure they've had sex?
    Kyle: Yeah.
    Officer 3: Has she performed oral sex on him?
    Kyle: I think so.
    Officer 3: ...Nice.
    Officer 1: Nisssse.
    Officer 3: [whispers] Nisssse.
    Yates: So wait, what, what's the crime?
    Officer 1: The crime is, she isn't doing it with me. [jabs jokingly at Officer 2. All the officers laugh]
    Kyle: Hay! He's totally underage. She's taking advantage of him.
    Yates: You're right. We're sorry. This is serious. We need to track this student down and... give him his "Luckiest Boy In America" medal right away. [All the officers laugh harder]
    Kyles: [throws his hands up in frustration and leaves] Gargh!


  • #118
    Fromthetrees
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,846 ✭✭✭Fromthetrees


    I know the thread is about personal experiences and I can go on about family law and all that but I'd rather just post this now.

    Been catching up on the Channel 4 comedy Peep Show recently.

    The two main characters are male. David Mitchell's character wakes up one night to find the woman who he had given his bed to was on top of him having sex with him on the floor. He says to himself 'am I being raped', 'am I going to have an orgasm against my will', 'oh'. The next day he tells the other main character about this and he's told, 'ha, ha, you got raped'.

    In another episode the other main character who is Robert Webb gets a job as an assistant to a male music producer. He found out later on that this job also entailed giving sexual favors to his new boss. He doesn't want to preform sex acts on his new boss but does anyway because the money is good.

    I think the programme is hilarious and I really enjoy it but I'm just highlighting these two happenings in the show because if the two main characters had been female doing this I don't think it would have ever even made it to air. If it had it certainly wouldn't have been considered comedy and it could well have led to national protest.


  • #119
    The Pheasant
    Registered Users Posts: 372 ✭✭The Pheasant


    Peep show is brilliant, I know this completely OT but I just need to say how much I love David Mitchell and his patented brand of angry logic


  • #120
    GalwayGuy2
    Registered Users Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    I think peep show was trying to highlight that a litte:P


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  • #121
    getzls
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 806 ✭✭✭getzls


    jaffacakesyum wrote: »
    Jesus Christ that's awful :( But you're last line kind of shows why female on male sexual assault isn't taken seriously...the problem doesn't come from just women not taking it seriously, it's men with the attitude that they're lucky if someone gropes them :eek:

    Take the points.

    But this was near 40 years ago and things have changed these days.


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