DEPRESSION SUPPORT- Anonymous posting is possible, see note in post #1.

This is turning into a high stool debate.
Of course we all have an opinion to which we are entitled but some comments and observations are not helpful or in keeping with the purpose for which this thread was created.

Manoffeeling wrote: »

There is a history of depression in my family. This last two years have been fairly tough on me with the legal wrangle with my family over the farm. I talk to my gp on a regular basis about my mental health. I have the wife told that if I get sick, get me in somewhere if need be. But the worst of the stress and worry is behind me.

I don't mean to oversimplify life or mental health, but every night, I try to watch comedy of some kind. It might seem stupid, but laughter is an excellent tonic.

On the issue of the family farm and what the neighbours think, tell them to mind their own business and phuckk off. Who are they to lecture or advise. Be loyal to yourself first.

Whatever works to make you feel better, do it. Whether it be watching a comedy, going for a walk on a beach or wherever, it doesn't matter how silly or simple it might be. If it works, it works.

Agree fully about the neigbours and the family farm. Let them go and f*ck. If that's their attitude, they're not really great neighbours imo

On the Original subject of depression, a lot of people in rural Ireland especially farmers suffer from loneliness which doesn't help either.

Going to the mart even if not interested in buying or selling, or going down to the pub etc can also help just meeting people and having a conversation with someone.

Farming can be a lonely career where you can go a few days without meeting anyone if you dont have anyone around

A related piece by Seamus Hennessy Tipperary Senior Hurler:

http://seamushennessy89.wordpress.com/2013/01/21/i-get-by-with-a-little-help-from-my-friends/

"I get by with a little help from my friends.

Posted on January 21, 2013by fezfez121


On Friday last, I was lucky to catch a part of the Late Late Show ( it does sound slightly weird to say I was lucky to watch the Late Late!!) dealing with a very relevant but somewhat difficult topic to discuss: the whole area of suicide and depression. The piece on the show was promoting an event called Cycle Against Suicide, much more details of which are available here (http://cycleagainstsuicide.com/index.html).

Essentially the 14 day cycle around Ireland hopes to raise awareness of the supports available to people/families who suffer from depression, suicidal thoughts or who have lost a loved one through suicide.

You may wonder where my own interest comes from for such an area but unfortunately I lost my mother to suicide 12 years ago and as a result, suicide is something I have a binding connection to for life. It is not an experience one spends much time preparing for and the shock, hurt and grief you feel can last an incredibly long time, and for some may indeed never subside.

How I dealt with my own experience was made substantially easier by attending a Rainbows Ireland programme at the time. Rainbows provides a setting and a trained facilitator where children and young people can share and discuss their feelings among other children who have went through a similar experience. As I reflect, I cannot overstate its importance in helping me deal with the issues I faced at the time as it offered me a safe and confidential place to address and overcome these issues.

This reflection is the catalyst for me trying to make people aware of the Cycle Against Suicide and what it hopes to achieve. Suicide has become a major cause of death in Ireland and support agencies have far more frequent requests for help in the last number of years. The Irish Times reported on July 12 2012 that 525 lives were lost through suicide in 2011 ( 439 men, 86 women), an increase of 7% on 2010. The question I ask upon seeing these figures is how many of these people sought help for how they felt? Could professional help have reduced this number? I would certainly think so.

The rise in mental health issues from the fallout of the Celtic Tiger and the onset of the current recession has been dramatic. Many young men and women now find themselves unemployed or have had wages decreased substantially, are mired in mortgage debt and ever increasing tax hikes and see no way out apart from the ultimate way out, i.e. to take their own life. Times are very difficult but are they tough enough to warrant taking your own life and not seeing family, friends, or experiencing the endless possibilities life offers ever again? The rise of social media and cyber bullying has made us aware of harrowing stories of teenage girls taking their own lives as a result of online bullying and has now developed into an area that needs to be addressed rapidly in order to prevent further tragedies becoming commonplace in Irish society.

The whole area of mental health, depression and suicide is a taboo subject not often discussed enough as, I believe, many find it too difficult to speak about their own feelings for a multitude of reasons. It’s crazy in many ways. We get help through grinds if we struggle in the classroom, we get help from trainers in order to get fit, we consult Jamie Oliver books and the likes to cook that very important meal, and we get advice from any number of style magazines on how to look well. Yet when it comes to our thoughts and feelings on the inside, many go quiet and won’t seek help to overcome these issues. Instead they feel trapped and have no way out.

Depression and suicidal thoughts are such sensitive, individual issues that, in my opinion, one cannot actually overcome them alone due to their difficulty and complexity. Accepting that everything is not perfect and that help is needed is a big decision to make and requires plenty of courage. Seeking out help from friends, family or a trained professional is a great thing to do. Like exercise helps us stay physically fit, talking and sharing will help us stay mentally fit. Whilst nobody else might experience or feel exactly what you do, this doesn’t mean they cannot help you to overcome these feelings.

I am no expert in this area, nor ever will be, and many might disagree entirely with my views and that’s no problem but I do feel strongly about helping raise awareness of the Cycle Against Suicide and that is the main reason for this post. The less people who see reason to take their own life and the less families who have to question and grieve over why it happened makes the world a better place for everybody.

All going well, I hope to participate in some part of the cycle to lend my support to the cause. If this post helps in a tiny way to raise awareness, then it’s time very well spent.

Seamus"

It might be worth considering that all three perspectives being offered by posts on this thread so far - let's call them "pull yourself up by your bootstraps"/"find distractions/hobbies/alcohol"/"get expert professional help" - might ALL be useful, for different individuals, in different ways, at different times.

Speaking as a retired psychotherapist with experience of thousands of cases of depression, bi-polar, and anxiety disorders, these few comments might be useful to our debate here. This is NOT advice or direction to individuals, nor is it in response to any specific situation described in the posts. It is general and I'm interested in whether you think it would work, or why it might not.

Rural/farming life on a rain-lashed, windswept rock in the Atlantic carries particular vulnerability to mood-regulation ('affective disorders', the professionals call them). Since every human being has 'moods' which vary over days or weeks or longer, there is nothing 'different' or sinister about the individual who experiences a period of "depression". The only difference is that s(he) get's stuck in that mood, whereas others' moods move according to energy-levels, weather, good/poor diet, and (of course) on whether their human relationships - with friends, neighbours, spouse/kids, employers - are satisfying or upsetting.

Because farming is an occupation where you are 'never finished' and there is always something left to do, an individual in this situation might go on for longer than (for example) someone working in a city office surrounded by colleagues with whom s(he) interacts daily, before they notice they are feeling "flat" or "without energy"..............because s(he) has been "going through the motions" for weeks or months, ending up stuck in that particular mood - whether that's anxiety, or anger, or sadness, etc. It's the 'stuck' quality of it, rather than the mood itself, which matters.

So - what to do if you're in the middle of the Burren, or Clare, or Mayo, and the days are grey and wet, the work is endless, you are pee'd off with everyone around you (even/especially your family) and everything feels heavy and pointless? As many posters have suggested, social life and having a pint and 'solving the ills of the world' in the local are one way to balance things. So is having something apart from the 'day-job'......doing a course in something completely different (Mandarin Chinese, basket-weaving, European history) either on-line (if you live too far away from Centre) or in adult education, which nets you even more social contact, going for a coffee with other students etc. Someone mentioned comedy on T.V. There is MASSIVE evidence that laughter itself is therapeutic. It stimulates raises serotonin-levels and stimulates endorphins - neurochemicals which (literally!) make us feel good, more energetic and alert. Strange to say, so does simple, common-or-garden WALKING. Again, there is massive research evidence that a brisk 30-minute walk each day not only counteracts depression but staves off Alzheimers and contributes to healthy heart and longevity.

If farmers and rural folks do all of the above they are maintaining good health and keeping the ball in their own court. Some posts on this thread indicate that men, particularly, want to keep control. That's good. It is healthy to be 'captain of your own ship'. If you are using all these strategies of 'self-care' and STILL 'get stuck' THEN CALL IN THE CAVALRY!

Will there be health authority treatment - other than anti-depressant medication - on the Western seaboard? Scarce and difficult to access, I would think, as the 'cuts' in healthcare spending kick in. However now that most households have internet connection, there are fora (though be very very careful you don't join a group who just want to 'wallow'........you want to balance the difficult mood, not get 'more-of-the-same').

What constitutes 'the Cavalry' will be different for each person, in each case. One person is able to be honest and open with a spouse. Another might not want to approach anyone in the immediate geographical vicinity out of concern what s(he) considers highly-personal business will get out into the townland. In that case one strategy is to find someone outside of the immediate community - professional, friend, or one of the listed agencies - with whom you can be completely open and can trust. Even when the brunt of the issue seems to be resolved KEEP GOING, KEEP REFLECTING (I say 'reflecting' advisedly, as this work is different to 'talking about it' which can just have you chase your tail) for as long as you can after the worst of it has cleared up. This is not time wasted or misspent. It gets you back to a level of functioning where you can then maintain your good psychological health, including sufficient time off to relax, to take holiday breaks, to give the time needed to social relations.

Would this work? What do you think?

@green84:

It might be menopause setting in. Women suffer from it, and per my wife around 50 is about the age it happens. Depression's a common side effect, along with 'hot flashes' and others that the women on the board definitely will know better than me.

I would definitely seek medical attention from her gynecologist and possibly followup with a psychologist, not sure who Dr. Harry Barry is, but I doubt a 'self-help' guru would be of any help at this point.

Depression is a taboo subject especially in rural areas. First hand experience of that. Land, money and greed and then families tying to cover up if a member of the family suffering and will go to any lengths to hide it. I have written about this in my book I just published, fact is stranger than fiction.