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Windiz 98

  • 28-01-1999 4:33pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 26,458 ✭✭✭✭


    MICROSOFT ANNOUNCEMENT

    It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Geordie version of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside of Newcastle. If you have one of the Newcastle editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Newcastle edition may be recognised by looking at the loading screen. It reads Windiz 98 with a background picture of a Brown Ale bottle superimposed on a photograph of the Tyne Bridge. It is shipped with the Brown Ale screen saver.

    Also note:
    The Recycle Bin is labelled 'Aal ya ****e'
    Dialup Networking is called 'Me mates'
    Control Panel is known as 'How te **** aboot wi the settins'
    The Hard Drive is referred to as 'Big disk'
    Floppies are known as 'Them litil plastic bastads'

    Other Features:
    OK = it's alreet
    cancel = **** that
    yes = aye
    no= nee ****in' chance
    find = gan gerit ya ****ing sel'
    goto = owa there
    help = ah cannit dee it
    stop = divvent move
    start = hadaway and ****e
    settings = settins
    programs = stuff that dis stuff
    personal folder = me ****e

    Also note that Windiz 98 does not recognise capital letters or punctuation marks.

    Some programs that are exclusive to Windiz98:

    tiperiter = a word processor
    cullarin book = a graphics package
    addin masheen = calculator
    tunes = CD player
    porn = Microsoft Internet Explorer
    pikchas = a graphics viewer
    dole money = accounting software
    toon = a spreadsheet of Newcastle United FC's recent scores
    bevvy = local off-licences by area code and price of Brown Ale tax records = usually an empty file Kappa tracksuit inventory = usually a 5 meg file

    We regret any inconvenience it may cause if you received a copy of the Newcastle edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.




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